Won't work unless...

We've had a few smiles in the past at the way the American public won't take a film seriously unless there's an American in a starring role (e.g. Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape") but it seems we here won't accept an adaptation of a classic book unless it's been (literally) sexed-up.  The BBC are to broadcast an adaptation of "War and Peace" and apparently the scriptwriter has included a non-existing incestuous relationship and some nudity just to attract more viewers.  When challenged, he said that he had "written one or two things that Tolstoy forgot to write".  Quite what this says about the great British viewing public, I'm not sure.

Water, water, everywhere...

So what do we do about the floods?  Well, too late to do anything about it now - just do all we can to help with coping with it, but what about trying to prevent it happening again?  First off, can we do anything?  It's accepted that this has been an unprecedented event and more or less by definition you can't plan for something which is unprecedented.  What we can do is imagine the worst that we think could happen and then plan for that.  My wife and I went on holiday to Maspalomas three times and stayed in the same hotel.  We were fascinated by a large (I do mean large) concrete channel just outside the hotel running down to the sea.  I reckon 30 or so meters wide and about 15 to 20 deep. And there it was - just a concrete channel, doing nothing, with weeds growing from cracks in the concrete.  Other than that it was called a "barranco" we couldn't work out what its purpose was. Second time we went there, just the same.  Then the third time we were there we heard it was seriously raining up in the mountains, and the next morning when we came down - the barranco was a raging torrent, full almost to the top with fast flowing water.  So that's what it's for!  Without it, the whole area would have flooded.  So there's a thought - dredge all the rivers and keep them dredged. Construct channels to take any excess.  Divert flood water onto open ground away from buildings.  It becomes a matter of money of course - it always is.  And we have to accept that whatever we do, nature may throw another unprecedented event at us, and the arguments will start all over again,

Post hoc, ergo...

...propter hoc.  Literally "after this, therefore because of this".  It's the assumption that because A happened, and then B happened, that A caused B.  Of course it may have done, but simply because the one followed the other does not prove it to be so. There must be many millions of people who say their prayers every day and many of them ask God, or the Virgin Mary, or whoever, for certain specific things.  And it is inevitable that every now and then, what they ask for will happen.  But the question is, is this proof that their prayers have been answered, or was the thing, whatever it is, going to happen anyway?  Mother Theresa is on her way to being made a saint, mainly on the basis that two people who prayed for her intervention have been apparently miraculously cured of what would otherwise have been fatal conditions. Now if people want to believe that, that's OK with me, but keep in mind that it is purely a question of belief - not proof.

What's done is done.

The thing about history is that it's - well, history. It happened.  We may like it - we may not.  We may be proud of it - we may not.  What we can't do is deny it.  Oh, there are those who have tried - just about every dictator, every totalitarian regime has sought to rewrite history for its own ends, and to air-brush out anybody and anything which does not fit with their view of how things should  be.  But sooner or later, the facts have a happy habit of reasserting themselves.  Cecil Rhodes was an imperialist and a colonialist.  Was he a racist?  Not so clear - very much depends on how you define the word.  But he existed, he lived, he did what he did.  You can't change that - and you shouldn't even try.

Where do you stand...

... on the Van Gaal question?  Not whether he should be sacked as manager of Manchester United, but whether he is being treated unfairly by the media.  He clearly thinks he is, and that the media are whipping up a "storm in a teacup" about him being replaced by Mourinho - and indeed some of the papers are claiming that this is a done deal, which must be unsettling for him and the players, and it would seem, his family.  But that's what the media do isn't it?  If there's no real story, they make one up.  Unfair - perhaps, but if you put your picture in the frame, you must accept that people will use it as a target.  Nobody put a gun to Van Gaal's head and forced him to take the job, and he must know that if the team are not playing well it is he who will come under scrutiny.  So he may - obviously does - feel cross about it, but I don't think he's doing himself any favours by sulking.

Site of the month

Long time since I've come up with one of these, but here's something to amuse and keep you busy on Boxing Day.  Remember our "word chains" game (see 14/9/08)? Well, have a look at thewikigame.com - same idea.

Merry Christmas

And God bless us, every one!

Zzzzzzzzzz...

As one who regularly starts to watch a film after tea, and then falls asleep in the chair and misses the end, I was fascinated to read about "Netflix socks" - these are socks with sensors which will detect if you nod off and send a signal to your TV which will pause the programme.  Genius!  Unfortunately they don't exist (yet) - they are a concept, an idea which Netflix has thrown out there to see if any manufacturer will take it up. Here's hoping...

For God's sake - make your minds up!

Are you as fed up as I am with the almost constant stream of contradictory reports on health matters? I've mentioned before how the advice on taking aspirin has changed almost annually  - first it was good for you, then it was bad for you, then it was good for you again, and so on and so on.  The latest example is the extent to which getting cancer is a matter of luck, or lifestyle.  Earlier this year a report from a reputable American university stated that around two out of every three cancers come about as a result of chance cell mutations that you can't do anything about. But then comes along a report from another reputable American university saying that nine out of ten cancers are a result of the way we live our lives - what we eat and drink, whether we smoke, whether we sunbathe, the quality of the air we breathe and so on.  I don't know about you, but I find the whole business enormously confusing and not a little stressful!

How come?

Much has been made of the closure of the country's last deep coal mine.  End of an era, and all that. But what struck me is why it is closing.  Not because it's run out of coal - quite the reverse. There are still millions of tons of the stuff down there.  No, it's closing simply because it's cheaper to buy coal from abroad. So we're still going to be using coal, but somehow it appears it's more expensive to dig it up in our own back yard, than it is to transport it thousands of miles from places like Russia or the US. And I think I am entitled to ask just why that is so.

Hand of glory

Are you familiar with the concept?  An old pub near where I live had long been reputed to be haunted and during renovation in the late 19th century a mummified hand and arm was discovered in a chimney.  And it created a lot of interest at the time because it was said to be a "hand of glory".  According to medieval folklore if you cut off the hand of a criminal who had been hanged on the gallows, and pickled it, it would have miraculous qualities, main among which was the ability to stupefy anybody who saw it. As such, such an object was prized by burglars who would use it to (hopefully) petrify the members of the house they were robbing.  The arm is now in the local museum - its provenance is still somewhat of a mystery, although it has been established that it had been injected with formalin, which suggests it was some sort of medical specimen.

R.I.P.

Jimmy Hill - although a Londoner, he is irrevocably associated in these parts with Coventry City, whose manager he was from 1961  to 1967, taking them from the old Division 3 to the then top flight Division 1 . He later became the club's chairman.  He was also a great innovator, giving Coventry the first all-seater stadium in England and also being instrumental in changing the points system so as to give three points for a win.  I do sometimes wonder if he ever regretted helping to get rid of the maximum wage cap, which, done with the best of intentions, has eventually led to the obscene amounts of money being paid to footballers today.

What do you think?

A primary school in Hull has been criticised for cancelling a Christmas sight-seeing trip to London for their Year 5 pupils because of the threat of terrorist activity.  It's the old argument - on the one hand by doing this we are playing into the terrorists' hands, doing exactly what they want us to do. On the other hand, the safety of the children must be paramount - and indeed several parents had already withdrawn their children from the trip before the decision was taken.  Clearly the school had to put the safety of the children first - it seems that criticism has mainly come from those not directly connected to the school.

Revolving door?

So Mourinho has got the boot again?  Chelsea have certainly had a bad start to the season, but this is essentially the same team under the same manager who won the Premiership last season with almost embarrassing ease, so what has gone wrong?  Or has in fact anything gone wrong - is this just an example of how much football at this level depends on confidence.  Once they had a bad start did that prey on their minds and become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy?  As the manager, Mourinho has to carry the can, but that's the name of the game as I'm sure he is aware.  Wonder who they have got lined up to replace him?

Oi! Marty McFly...!

Thinking of getting one of these hoverboards as a Christmas present - for yourself, or someone else? If so, you should be aware that, like the Segway, it is illegal to use them anywhere other than on private land with the landowner's permission.  Because they're powered, they're classed as a "carriage", so the Highways Act of 1835 prohibits their use on the pavement, and equally they can't be used on the road without them, and the person using them, being licensed and registered and complying with all the same regulations as those using cars, vans and lorries.  And before you ask, mobility scooters and invalid carriages are covered by separate legislation.  If you use them in a shopping mall or somesuch, then it's down to the owner of mall as to whether this is OK or not.  If their use becomes really widespread, it may be that the government will have to reconsider the current situation. Interestingly, many other countries take a rather more relaxed view of their use - treating them more like bicycles.

Ha ha

Define "bidet".
Answer - the day two days before D-Day.

Clever - made me smile.

Well, what did you expect?

One more for the Law of Blindingly Obvious Consequences.  A council (I won't embarrass them by naming them, but it begins with L) has made big cut-backs in its refuse-collecting services.  Quite apart from a serious amount of job losses this has resulted (surprise, surprise) in a significant increase in fly-tipping.  And of course the irony is that, unless they can identify the fly-tippers (most unlikely) it will be the council who will eventually have to find the money to clean up the mess!

In for a penny...

One of those "life-hacks" which appear now and then on the Net involves rescuing the remains of a bottle of wine which has gone "off" by using a penny.  Make sure it's nice and clean and drop it into the wine and stir for about a minute.  Remove the penny and, according to the website, lo and behold, your wine is drinkable again. The logic is that the reason the wine goes off is due to oxydisation, and the copper in the coin neutralises this.  Speaking for myself, I find it difficult to understand why anybody would ever have any left-over wine!

'Tis the season...

Think the BBC have missed a trick with their Christmas scheduling.  They're being criticised - and rightly in my opinion - for only showing eight hours of Christian-themed programmes during Christmas week.  Given their position as our national broadcaster and given that at Christmastime, a lot of people turn more to religion, and go to church who perhaps ordinarily wouldn't do so, and given that the role of the BBC and its place in the 21st century is coming under serious scrutiny, they could have done themselves some good by demonstrating that they are not just a ratings-chasing organisation and with four channels (at the time of writing) they could surely have found room for a lot more than eight hours (of which four are repeats by the way).  

I know my place.

Life used to be so simple - there was the upper class, the middle class and the working class. Because the middle class was such a broad church, it tended to be subdivided into upper middle, middle and lower middle.  But now?  According to the BBC and the LSE there are no less than seven different social classes.  In some cases it seems to be no more than coming up with new names - so Elite is just the old upper class, Established Middle Class is the old upper middle class. New Affluent Workers the old lower middle class, and Traditional Working Class is self-explanatory.  But the others - Technical Middle Class, Emergent Service Workers and Precariat - haven't a clue!

Brummie Scrooge!

As a Midlander I am ashamed to say this story comes from Birmingham.  A street trader who has a flower stall in the city centre has been threatened with court action by the council for playing Christmas carols.  They maintain that he is in breach of the Control of Pollution Act 1974, section 62(1)(b) of which prohibits the use of a loudspeaker in a street "for the purpose of advertising any entertainment, trade or business".  He's been doing this for 10 years by the way, with no problems. Is this some jumped-up jobsworth throwing his or her weight about or what?  I think it highly dubious that it could be said that he is advertising anything other than the fact it's Christmastime, and if that's illegal then (literally) God help us!

One for the road?

A Scotland Yard Commander with special responsibility for alcohol abuse has suggested that it should be an offence to buy a drink for someone who is already drunk.  Interesting idea, and made with the best of intentions, but completely impractical.  For starters, it takes no account of the fact that drunkenness is a cumulative process - you may be OK when  I buy you a drink, but that drink may be the one that tips you over the edge into drunkenness.  Have I committed an offence or not? Then - define drunk.  This is obviously aimed at the rowdy, fighting drunks, but not everybody is like that - for plenty of people alcohol makes them mellow and friendly - are they to be treated the same as the yobbos?  Like I say - impractical.  

Someone has to be to blame?

I remember when I studied law, many, many years ago, one of the strange things that cropped up was, if it snowed, to think twice before you cleared the pavement outside your house. Why?  Because if you didn't, and someone slipped and hurt themselves, that was their bad luck - an act of God.  But if you did try to clear the snow and then someone slipped and hurt themselves, you could be sued for not doing a good enough job. Thought about that when listening to those flooded out up north blaming the Government for not providing good enough flood defences.  Bit bizarre in any event to be holding the Government responsible for the weather, but would you have preferred that they had done nothing??

Interesting career opportunity?

HMRC (the taxman to you and me) is apparently setting up a task force to look into strip clubs and escort agencies to make sure that the owners, and those who work there, are paying their tax.  I have a feeling that they won't have too much of a struggle to find staff for that!

Formula 1

My usual round-up of the season.  Again this year I've struggled to work up any real enthusiasm.  Not sure what the answer is though.
Hamilton - dominant until the last few races - by which time the championship was won.  
Rosberg - disappointing until the last few races - by which time he'd lost his chance. Failed to turn enough pole positions into wins - 4 from 7 as against Hamilton's 7 from 11
Vettel - got the best out of an ever-improving Ferrari.  Have a feeling he might be the one to beat next season.

Ha ha

For the first time in a long time, my pensioner's magazine has come up with a half-decent joke -
A teacher is doing a lesson on self esteem and confidence.  "Right class" she says "I want anyone who thinks they're stupid to stand up".  The children all look at each other but everybody remains seated, until after a few minutes Little Larry stands up. "So, Larry" says the teacher "you think you're stupid?"  "No Miss" said Larry "but I didn't like seeing you standing there all by yourself!"

What's in a name?

So the PM has determined that we should call our enemy in Syria Daesh - which he pronounces Die-esh.  The Americans tend to pronounce it "Dash" - but then, they have a habit of always coming up with their own pronunciations  - Eye-raq for Iraq and so on.  But apart from that, just what should we call this would-be Middle-Eastern caliphate?  It started out life as the Islamic State, then it became the "so-called" Islamic Sate, then ISIS or ISIL and now apparently to be on-song we must go with Daesh.  Does it matter?  Apparently the terrorists themselves don't like the name, which is perhaps why we've decided to use it, but what we call them is surely a side-issue.  I am reminded of a John Le Carré story (was it "A Little Town In Germany"?) where more time was spent on discussing what code-name a spy operation should be given rather than how it should be run.  Now we've decided to go in, let's just get on with it, whatever we call them.

Syria - the final verdict?

So it's "bombs away"?  Found it rather awkward to be siding with Jeremy Corbyn (though not fully agreeing with his arguments) but on balance I think we've made the wrong decision, for reasons I gave the other week.  Apparently this makes me a "terrorist sympathiser" but there you go.  Not a clear-cut matter and no question there are serious points to be made on the other side, but perhaps the crunch question is - do I feel any safer now?  And the answer is a definite - no, quite the reverse.

She's behind you!

Speaking of pantomimes, have you seen that the Bristol Old Vic is putting on "Sleeping Beauty" this Christmas - but with a twist.  The main character is not to be a princess, but a prince - Prince Percy. It will be he who pricks his finger and falls into a deep sleep, to be awakened by a girl heroine.  Well I suppose in the interests of opposing gender stereotyping I could just about accept that, but Prince Percy???

I'm cross!

A pantomime in Norwich is having to change one of the costumes of the "Dame" because it features several red crosses on a white background ("she" is supposed to be a nurse) and they have been told that this infringes the rights of the British Red Cross, whose emblem that is.  But hang on a minute - red cross on white ground - isn't that the cross of St George?, and that belongs to us all and well predates its use on ambulances and such.  I'm sure the producers of the pantomime don't want to get into any legal shenanigans but I'd be inclined to tell the Red Cross where to get off.

Need any help with your packing?

A famous art forger who has done time as a result of his activities has written a book in which he claims that a chalk drawing generally attributed to Leonardo Da Vinci and valued at £100m is in fact his work and depicts a check-out girl with whom he used to work at a Co-op store in Bolton back in the 70s.  If this is proved - or even just accepted - to be true, the work becomes pretty well worthless. But we've been down this road before - it's the same drawing!  How can it be that one minute it's worth £100m and the next, nothing?  I've said it before - doesn't this just point up the ridiculous pretentiousness of the art world?

Hard cheese!

It seems we are veering away from Cheddar towards Brie, Camembert, Feta and the like.  At the same time apparently the continentals are getting a taste for Cheddar - life's funny isn't it?  Mind you I don't think Cheddar is what it used to be - it may be my aged taste buds are not what they were, but it doesn't seem to have the "bite" it used to have.  Maybe it's just the desire to try something more exotic that draws us towards foreign cheeses - I have to say I have a soft spot for Dolcelatte.

Yes it is - no it isn't.

Adele, who - the grandkids tell me - is a pop singer of some repute, apparently made herself up to look different and then entered an "Adele impersonator" contest.  At least she won - unlike Charlie Chaplin, who (it is said) once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest - and came third!

Black Friday

Yesterday of course, but what's it all about?  Well it's an American "invention" - Thanksgiving falls on the fourth Thursday in November, and - rather like our Boxing Day sales, the day after is seen as a day for going shopping, and most people take it as a holiday.  But why "black"?  After all, a black day usually means a very bad day. Well apparently that's how it started out - it was the police who originally named it Black Friday because of all the problems they had with heavy traffic and crowds of shoppers and people fighting over bargains and such, but the shops adopted the name on the basis that in their books, black figures indicate profit.  I think as far as this country is concerned it's a transitory thing - last year was a bit manic, but this year shops seem to have stretched the whole thing out over a week or so and yesterday generally didn't seem to be that different from any other Friday.

Ha ha - sort of.

I read an article the other day about tips on losing weight and it suggested that, rather than changing your eating habits, you should simply use smaller plates.  So I tried that - but everything just kept falling off the edge.

Gizz a kiss!

Piece on the news the other day about the annual mistletoe auction in Tenbury, Worcestershire, and they interviewed one woman who said she had come all the way from Aberystwyth, because "we don't have mistletoe in Wales", and I wondered why not?  Well, it seems that it's not so much that they don't have mistletoe in Wales, but rather that it's rare.  Indeed it's rare in most of Great Britain apart from an area in the south-west Midlands - notably Herefordshire,Worcestershire and Gloucestershire.  Just why it is so prolific in that area is a matter of debate - the usual explanation is that this is where all the apple orchards are, and mistletoe grows well on apple trees. But there are apple orchards in other parts of the country, so there must be more to it than that.  It seems it may be a combination of apple trees and beneficial climate. Anyway, it seems this is a good year for the plant with lots of berries.

Plus ça change...

It seems you can't trust anybody - and never could. A four-year University study has concluded that the stories surrounding Glastonbury Abbey - of King Arthur and the Round Table and even of Jesus being brought there by his great-uncle, Joseph of Arimathea - are not only myths, but a matter of deliberate deceit by 12th century monks who needed money to restore the abbey after a devastating fire and who simply made them up to attract pilgrims there.  It may well be that we shall have to re-write "Jerusalem"!

Our Father...

Have you seen this short film of people reciting the Lord's Prayer which has caused a fuss because the Digital Cinema Media Agency, which controls cinema advertising has refused permission to show it - the Church of England wanted it to accompany showings of the new Star Wars film - to get maximum publicity for their website justpray.uk.  DCM said its policy is not to accept political or religious advertising, which seems clear enough.  Why the CofE should think they ought to be a special case is beyond me, and in any case the film is readily available on the internet, and DCM's refusal to allow it has probably garnered them as much, if not more publicity than they would have got from showing it.  I can see where DCM are coming from - if they were to allow this, then they would be obliged to allow other religious adverts, or risk being sued for discrimination - and there are some potentially unpalatable faiths, cults and sects out there.

R.I.P

Peter Dimmock - ever associated in my mind with the birth of Grandstand.  Also the man mainly responsible for the (unprecedented at the time) television coverage of the Queen's coronation.  The label "pioneer" is somewhat overused, but in his case is well deserved. 

Where's that then?

Much is being made of the fact that, just hours before the terrorist attacks in Paris, 44 people were killed by suicide bombers in Beirut, but whereas the Paris attacks have resulted in hours of TV coverage, and pages of newspaper reporting and public buildings being decorated in blue, white and red, the Beirut atrocity got no more than a cursory mention.  As some people saw it, this was evidence that Lebanese lives are "worth" less than French ones.  So, does it?  I would say it's not so much a matter of worth, but more a matter of newsworthiness.  Rightly or wrongly, we pay more attention to, and relate more to events close to us, than those further away. Paris is just over the channel - Lebanon is way over there somewhere in the mysterious Middle East.  And then, I've never been to Beirut, but I have been to Paris.  The fact is that if something happens here in my immediate vicinity, it will mean more to me than if the same thing happens in Penzance, say. Just human nature.

Part 4

I told you there would be a Part 4 (see post on 5th of this month)!  So - latest thoughts.  It seems clear that ISIS are specifically targeting those countries that are targeting them.  So if we bomb Syria, we are making it more likely that they will attack us.  Not that it isn't likely that they will anyway, but this would make it a near certainty.  So, it's a balance of pro's and con's - will our contribution to the bombing of Syria make any significant difference to the outcome?  I don't know the answer, but it seems to me that Russia, and now France, are doing the job pretty well and I get the impression that Cameron's main motivation in wanting to join in is just that - a desire to be part of the gang, to be seen as "doing our bit", even if our bit will make precious little difference. But if that will increase the likelihood of us suffering some major terrorist atrocity in this country, then I think it has to be asked whether the game is worth the candle.

Hoist with his own petard.

One of those phrases which most people are familiar with, but are unsure as to what exactly it means. It comes from Shakespeare (who else?) and means to be blown up by your own bomb, or metaphorically, to be caught out by a situation you had created yourself - the sort of thing which always makes you smile and think "serves them right".  Here's a great one - the deputy leader of South Lanarkshire Council was instrumental in closing all the public toilets in the council's area earlier this year as a cost-saving measure.  You can see where this is going, can't you?  He found himself "caught short" while waiting for a taxi, and went up an alley to relieve himself, was seen by the police and given an on-the-spot fine.  Nice one!

If at first...

Back in 2012, both Birmingham and Coventry held referendums (or referenda if you insist) on the question of whether they should have a Mayor.  Both said no.  Since then both cities have been bundled up with the surrounding town and city councils to form the West Midlands Combined Authority, and guess what?  We are to have elections in 2017 for a Mayor of the Authority!  No referendum this time - we're to have a Mayor whether we like the idea or not.  The government wanted Mayors for Birmingham and Coventry back in 2012 and the feeling is that as they didn't get the answer they wanted back then, they're going to ignore the democratic process and simply not ask the question this time.

Open borders shut?

Are we seeing the end of Schengen?  We (perhaps wisely in retrospect) were never in it, but the idea was that EU citizens could move freely between EU countries without border checks or the need to show passports.  But it was never intended to give free right of passage to those non-EU citizens who had somehow managed to get into the EU, and yet that's what's happened.  Of course, if you don't have to produce a passport or some other form of ID how do you know who's an EU citizen and who isn't?  And therein lies the inherent weakness in the system which is now being highlighted by the current immigrant crisis. Walls and barbed-wire fences going up all over the place - but will they ever come back down?

How much??

It seems that some GPs have a very lucrative side-line in the charges they demand for things like countersigning a passport photograph or providing medical evidence for something like a power of attorney form.  I had some experience of this when I needed a doctor's letter to support an insurance claim when my wife was ill (terminally as it turned out) and we had to cancel our holiday.  This was a good few years back of course, but I remember I had to pay £5.  There is no rhyme or reason here - some doctors will do this sort of thing for free, but otherwise they can charge what they like, and a recent case has hit the headlines where a mother had to pay £350 for a letter from her doctor to say that her special needs child was well enough to take part in the school's Christmas play.  There are calls for these charges to be regulated, but as this is non-NHS work, the question is, who is in a position to regulate?  The doctor has the whip hand - if you don't agree to pay, you don't get what it is you need - possibly desperately.  I seem to remember that I wasn't so bothered about having to pay as I was about the fact that it took the doctor something like three weeks to get round to doing it!

The wonder of words.

You know me - I'm a sucker for words and their meanings.  "Ruthless" is a word that (sadly) has been much in the news lately, and I wondered if it was one of those "unpaired words" we discussed on 11th March last year.  But no - there is such a word as "ruth" - archaic now, but it means compassion or pity.  But the etymological journey doesn't stop there, because ruth is the noun which comes from the verb "to rue", meaning to regret or feel remorse.  And that word is still current, although now used almost exclusively in the expression "to rue the day..." 

We are all Parisians now...

What is there to say?  Solidarity with the French and particularly with those affected by the horrible events of Friday night.  Not that that will make any difference or is of any help to anyone - it's just something I felt the need to say.

Just stating the obvious?

MP has got into hot water for suggesting that those complaining about how much they are going to lose under the Chancellor's proposed tax credit cuts should look to see if they can't make savings elsewhere in their household budgets - pay-TV has been mentioned.  Just common sense though really, isn't it?  When we were first married we didn't have a television - not that we wouldn't have liked one, but we agreed that for the time being it was a luxury we couldn't afford.  I think I've mentioned previously that at much the same time I gave up smoking for the same reason.  It's tough when you have to give up something you're used to having but, to use an old-fashioned expression, you have to cut your coat according to your cloth.

Which side do you favour?

As a sort of addendum to yesterday's post, for most of history left-handed people have been considered untrustworthy, or even downright evil.  Indeed our word "sinister" comes straight from the Latin, meaning "left" (anybody remember "Carry On Cleo", where the marching Romans went sinister - dexter - sinister - dexter?).  In much of the Middle East the left hand is considered unclean - we won't go into why, but it is.  And then, if you are favoured in Heaven, you will sit at the right-hand of God. If (like me) you can't dance, you are said to have two left feet.  Surprising, in this day and age that there isn't a law prohibiting discrimination against left-handers - although it's probably just a matter of time.

Do you know different?

Funny how sometimes, it turns out that things you thought that "everybody knew" everybody doesn't know. The other day, at a family meal, one of the grandkids asked why men wear their poppy on the left, whereas some women wear it on the right. And I was surprised that this produced silence at the table and it was left to me to come up with the (probable) answer - one that I thought "everybody knew". So, traditionally garments with buttons were made with the button on the right and the button-hole on the left - this being most convenient for right-handed people, which the majority of us are.  But then in the earlier part of the 19th century, posh "ladies" started to employ a maid to dress them, and these maids found it difficult to deal face to face with garments buttoning up right to left, so upper-class dress shops started to design women's blouses and coats which buttoned up the other way.  And of course in the way of these things, this quickly became the fashion, and everybody copied it.  The button-hole in the lapel also changed sides, and as this is where you wear your poppy or other memento, it was on the left for men, and on the right for women. That's how it was explained to me, anyway. These days it seems that many women choose which side to wear their poppy - some preferring the left.

We will remember them

You sought for glory?
- There is none in war.

Dennis B Wilson

Computer says no...

There are times when I despair, I really do.  Here's the story - a 91-year-old widow was brought to this country from South Africa to be with her family who are here. She was granted a six-month visa. Since coming here her health has deteriorated and her family, on her behalf, have applied for permission to stay here.  BUT - the rules say that such an application - to extend a visa -  cannot be made from here, but must be made from the country you are seeking to enter this country from.  In this case, South Africa.  So this frail elderly sick lady faces having to travel back to South Africa in order to be able to apply to come back here and spend her final years with her family.  Like I say - I despair. 

Ha ha

A man never really appreciates what happiness is until he's married
 - and by then it's too late!

There's an idea!

Is what's happening in Sharm-el-Sheikh at the moment perhaps the future of international air travel? Will there come a time when passengers fly in one plane with minimal, stringently-checked hand-luggage, and their baggage goes in a separate cargo-only plane?  Thinking about it, not only would this minimise the threat from terrorist bombs (there's little kudos as a terrorist in downing a plane unless you cause significant loss of life) but if the timing is right, it could also provide an answer to one of the most frustrating aspects of air travel - the seemingly interminable wait by the carousel for your bags to appear.  Send the cargo plane ahead and your bags could be there waiting for you.  How about it, folks?

Whoosh!!

Several alarm stories in the press recently about asteroids passing dangerously close to Earth - only to be followed closely by official pronouncements saying that there's no danger, and plenty of room for the asteroid to pass us safely.  Lots of big numbers being bandied about which makes it difficult to get a handle on just how big these space distances are.  So how about this - we think of the moon as being pretty close to us, and yet there is actually room to fit all the planets (even including Pluto) between the earth and the moon with about 2,000 km to spare!  So it's pretty big out there.

Put it on the shopping list.

Aldi are selling gin & tonic flavoured crisps - yeah!

Part 3...

Should we bomb Syria - first I said no (1/9/13) then I said yes (9/9/15) and now today...?  It seems unlikely that the matter will be put before the House of Commons in the immediate future, because the government don't want to consider doing that until they are convinced they can win the vote, and currently they are not convinced they can.  But since my last post, there is another aspect to be considered - is there any point any more?  Now that Russia have gone in with their studs showing, can we make any meaningful contribution, or should we just stand back and see what happens?  If Russia can defeat ISIS (big if, I think) should we simply let them get on with it?  I'm beginning to think that is the most advantageous strategy for us at this point in time.  Of course, things could (probably will) change, so there may well be a part 4.

Did you know...

...that heroin started out life as a cough medicine?

So...?

I had an aunt - well she wasn't really an aunt, just a close elderly female friend, but we called her "Auntie", and I remember her being devastated when she learned that Rock Hudson was gay, and I couldn't understand it.  "He's still Rock Hudson" I remember saying, "same bloke he was yesterday". But clearly to her the news changed things fundamentally.  Why should a person's sexual orientation make such a difference in the way some people see them?  There have been several stories recently about how difficult it was for some men (strangely it doesn't seem to be such a problem for women) to "come out" as gay.  I don't get it - maybe because I don't see it as any of my business.  Indeed I don't see why people feel the need to "come out of the closet".  Why bother? It's nobody's business but theirs.  Am I missing something?

Only in this country...

Did you know there was a World Crazy Golf Championship?  It's in its 13th year now and was held in Hastings last month.  There were competitors from four countries, but the winner was a Brit - hooray!

Think about it...

It's poppy time again, and once again we have the irony of this basically peaceful symbol of remembrance creating much argument, and indeed vitriol, on social media between those who object to it being worn on the one hand, and those who consider that everybody should wear one on the other.  What seems to get lost in all the shouting is that those who the poppy represents gave their lives so that we should have the freedom to choose whether to wear one or not.  I choose to, but I will not foist my views on you - the choice is yours.

Don't understand.

It is obviously right and proper that Shaker Aamer, who has finally been released from Guantanamo Bay after being imprisoned there without charge or trial for nearly 14 years, should receive compensation for what he's been through.  But why should it be the British taxpayer who foots the bill?  As I understand it, he was captured, arrested or whatever by the Americans, Guantanamo Bay is an American prison and it is solely down to the Americans that he has not been released until now.  So why are we paying?  

Ha ha

Why do Marxists only drink horrible tea?
- because all proper tea is theft!

Ve haf vays...??

The make-up of police forces should reflect the communities they serve, says the Home Secretary.  In particular, she says that the number of black officers is "simply not good enough".  But there's an underlying assumption there that people can be forced into particular jobs.  If black and Asian people don't want to become police officers in sufficient numbers to satisfy whatever quota is acceptable to the Home Secretary, what then?

G & T in peril!

Bad news for us drinkers - a fungal disease is killing off juniper plants in Scotland.  A 2015 report has found that something like 80% of plants are in a bad way.  Why the concern? Well Juniper plants produce juniper berries, and juniper berries are what gives gin its distinctive flavour.  You can get the berries from elsewhere in the world, but aficionados reckon Scottish berries are best.   

Rules of the game?

When I was at school we played "rugger" ('cause we had pretensions to being a "posh" school), but we did at times play football, and my recollection is that we were taught that the only physical contact allowed above the waist was a shoulder to shoulder charge.  So why was Coloccini sent off in the Sunderland v Newcastle match at the weekend for shoulder-charging an opponent?  Have they changed the rules, or what?  And just to be clear - I have no interest in either team and thus no axe to grind.  Regular readers will know I support Wolves (Gawd 'elp me).

Sorry??

It is said that Tony Blair has finally apologised for the Iraq war.  But has he?  It's all to do with an interview which he has given to CNN in America.  The interview has not yet been aired, but a transcript of it has been put out.  He's said that he's sorry "for the fact that the intelligence we received was wrong".  And yet, that's not the question that I at least want him to address.  The question is - did he know (or even suspect) that it was wrong?  Did he mislead Parliament - and us - by presenting as fact things that he knew to be untrue, or at best dodgy?  And his apology comes nowhere near to answering that question.

Can you work it out?

For various reasons I needed to know when half-term week would be in October next year.  And I had a thought - I picked a holiday cottage at random from a well-known site and looked at the prices for a week in October 2016.  Here's what I found -
W/B 3rd October - £846
W/B 10th October - £845
W/B 17th October - £825
W/B 24th October - £1387
W/B 31st October - £836
I wonder which is half-term week??

There you are - see?

So a Subway foot-long is now going to be a genuine 12 inches (see post dated 27/1/13) and apparently the counter-staff are going to be provided with rulers to prove it, if necessary.

Well I never!!

I think we should inaugurate a prize for the most "un-news" news story - that is to say a story which is doing no more than telling us what everybody already knows - stating the bleedin' obvious as it were.  So, I offer this as a starter for ten - "Bookmakers are refusing to take bets from successful gamblers".  Yeh, and Queen Victoria's dead.

Rugby Union

Do we feel sorry for the Scots, who were leading Australia in a World Cup quarter-final with a couple of minutes to go only to be undone by a dodgy penalty decision which resulted in a one-point victory for the Aussies?  Oh, come on - they're Scots!!  But were they robbed, as some of them insist? The late great Bill McLaren (himself a Scot), who was the BBC commentator on rugby matches from the 1950s right through until the turn of the century was wont, when referring to a controversial decision, to recite Law 6.A.4.(a) of the rules of the game: "The referee is the sole judge of fact", or as it has otherwise been put - the referee is always right, even when he's wrong. So no, they weren't robbed - just unlucky,

Bizniz in't it?

There's a corner-shop I regularly visit.  I'm not that keen on the family that run it, for various reasons. I certainly wouldn't fancy them as next-door neighbours, but as shopkeepers they are the bees' knees. Can't ask for the wrong thing and if they haven't got it, they will get it for you, and their prices are lower than most of the competition.  Why am I telling you this?  Well the government is coming under fire for cosying up to China - we want to make them one of our main trading partners, but of course their "human rights" record leaves a lot to be desired, and in many people's opinion this means that we should have nothing to do with them.  But should I stop patronising that corner-shop because those running it are not particularly nice people (as I see it anyway).  Should I go elsewhere and pay more for an inferior service?  No - their worth as traders and their worth as human beings are quite separate.  I often find in arguments such as these that it pays to look at the situation the other way round - if a delightful family were to open a shop charging over the odds and with a "sorry, we don't stock that" approach, would I shop there just because they are so nice?  Let's be serious - if trading with China is advantageous, let's go for it - we don't have to be best friends.

Each to his own.

I think I've mentioned before that, many years ago, I took a course in Indian cookery, and one of the recurring ingredients was coriander.  I used to get it in bunches from a local Asian supermarket, and my wife and I would spend a happy half-hour or so at the kitchen table stripping the leaves from the stems ready for use. But it appears that everybody is not a fan - there are those it seems who have a particular genetic mutation which means that for them the herb taste nasty - somewhat like soap.  Pret A Manger, the high street sandwich shop has come under fire for its liberal use of what is described by these people as "the devil's herb".  The Americans of course call it cilantro, but I don't think that helps.  You either like it or you don't.  Presumably the Indians do?

Hmmm...

I still think on balance that we are better off inside the EU than we would be if we left it, but for me the margin is getting narrower.  In particular, the shambolic response (or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, lack of response) to the problem of all these immigrants seeking to enter the EU calls into question the extent to which there is any real "unity" in the Union.  It's turned into an "every country for itself" situation. Where's the leadership?  Where's the policy?  Perhaps we're not in the best position to be critical, given that we deliberately opted out of the Schengen Agreement, but you have to start asking what is the point of the European Union if the countries it comprises can go their own way when it suits them. 

Sauce for the goose?

The DPP is coming in for heavy criticism over "Operation Elveden" - this was an investigation into journalists (almost all from the Sun and the now-defunct News of the World) paying public officials for confidential information which was then used to publish "exclusives" in their papers.  Why the criticism?  Well of the 29 prosecutions brought against journalists, only one resulted in a conviction, so she is being accused of wasting a significant amount of public money pursuing journalists who, as they saw it, were merely "doing their job". But at the same time, 26 public officials have been convicted under essentially the same evidence for taking the money.  And I find it difficult to get my head round the idea that accepting money for confidential information is an offence, but offering that money is not.  Surely inciting someone to break the law is itself an offence?  Or are journalists somehow a special case?

Explanation

For those who didn't get Wednesday's joke, I refer you to my post under the title "Why 10 isn't really a number" on 2nd December 2014.

Just have to deal with it...

So it's finally happened - 5p for a supermarket plastic bag.  I've had my say about that, and I won't bore you by repeating what I think about it.  Some people have taken to nicking baskets or even trollies - can't really see that these would be much use to them in the long run, so I think it must be people just doing it to get their own back on the supermarkets - which is a bit silly as it's not the supermarkets' fault.  In fact I was talking to a checkout operator the other day who said that they're not that happy about it - it's causing them a lot of hassle, and slowing down the whole checkout procedure while customers sort out the bags they've brought with them.  Ah well, it was just a matter of time...

Far too sensible!

One of the repeating themes on this blog is the absurdity of the so-called "war on drugs", which costs big money, ties up a lot of law-enforcement manpower, and has little effect on the extent of the supply and consumption of drugs.  All it does is make it a more profitable enterprise for the criminals who control the supply and distribution chain.  And now we have an official Treasury report saying that legalising and regulating cannabis would save millions of pounds in court costs and police time, and potentially raise millions more in revenue.  Will anybody listen?  What do you think?

Ha ha

There are only 10 types of people in this world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Hello, titch!

So Pluto is very much in the news at the moment following the pictures and data provided by the NASA space probe New Horizons.  But is it a planet?  It was considered so when it was first discovered in 1930, but in 2006 the International Astronomical Union reclassified it as a "dwarf planet" - a category which had not existed before then,  But why did they do it?  It seemed a bit mean-spirited at the time I seem to remember.  However it is now clear that the decision was taken on purely practical grounds.  Advances in space detection meant that new bodies were regularly being discovered in the outer reaches of the solar system, many of which were as big, or bigger than Pluto. And of course if Pluto was to be considered as a planet, these would also have to be similarly classified.  And it's bad enough having to remember eight planets - imagine having to cope with three or four times that number!  So by designating these as dwarf planets, it keeps the number of "proper" planets within reasonable bounds. 

That's a lo-o-o-o-ng time!

Question - why, when talking about radio-active material decaying, do we refer to "half-life"?  Why half??  Well, do you remember when we were discussing Zeno's paradoxes?  It's a bit like that - suppose you have 100g of uranium 235, which has a half-life of 700 million years.  This means that in 700 million years time there will only be 50g of it still active.  Another 700 million years after that, it will be down to 25g and so on.  And of course Zeno tells us that halving the amount like this every 700 million years means that we shall never reach zero - there is no such thing in decay terms as a "full-life", or more to the point, the time it will take our uranium 235 to completely decay is infinite.

No more money?

Yet another "NHS crisis" - we seem to stagger from one to the next.  We've talked about this before - the NHS is a financial black hole.  However much money you give it, it will never be enough.  As the overall health of the nation improves, so we expect more from our health service.  And then, we are living longer with all the health implications which go with that.  I've said it before - I think we need to decide just how much money we are prepared to give the NHS, just what they can provide with that money, and we have to accept that that is all we can expect unless we are prepared to take out private insurance to cover anything extra.  Not easy - not easy at all, but the much-vaunted "free at the point of delivery" mantra cannot disguise the fact that the NHS costs, and costs massively.  I think sometimes that tends to be forgotten.

If s/he said it, it must be true??

If I go into a police station and make an allegation - of historic sexual abuse or anything else - should I be believed? Not automatically, no!  I should be listened to, and what I say should be noted but at this stage my allegations are just that.  The police should then investigate what I have told them and look for evidence which either supports my claims or contradicts them.  But this idea that anyone who comes forward with allegations of historic sexual abuse must be assumed to be telling the truth is just plain wrong.  It isn't a question of belief or non-belief - it's a question of evidence, or the lack of it.  Policemen are human and will have their own prejudices and form their own conclusions, but if they're doing their job properly they should keep these to themselves and carry out an unbiased investigation.

Farewell to...

...New Tricks.  As it was apparently the last ever, I watched it last Monday.  Bit like going to see an old friend on his death-bed. I hardly recognised him and we hadn't got much to say to each other. And I felt really down.  So many good memories and so many regrets.  Sad...

Papaya!

Believe it or not, there is a village in Cornwall called Minions.  Too good an opportunity to miss, eh? Universal Studios, who produced the film of that name paid to have the roadsign announcing that you were entering the village redone so that it featured some of the Minions characters and had the village's name spelled out in the font used to advertise the film.  The council have now taken it down and replaced it with the old standard sign, maintaining that it was only ever meant to be temporary. Some of the villagers - particularly those reliant on visitors - are demanding its reinstatement.  Given that Cornwall relies so heavily on tourism, I would have though this was a no-brainer, but the council have quoted (surprise, surprise) health and safety issues caused by motorists stopping to have their pictures taken by the sign.  I would have thought that a compromise would be to erect the sign somewhere else in the village where it would not be a hazard, and people could still come and see it and have their pictures taken.  Will commonsense prevail?

Will they accept a bus pass?

Prostitution is a risky and potentially dangerous business these days, so ten out of ten for ingenuity to a group of ladies who conduct their business in a motorhome which tours around in the Manchester area.  Keeps them dry and warm and relatively safe - everyone's a winner?

I was on holiday, for heaven's sake!

Unless you are teetotal, I imagine most of you, when on holiday like to have a few drinks- probably more than you would have had at home.  I certainly do.  So it comes as a shock to find that some travel insurance policies are starting to appear with clauses that state that if the insured is drunk at the time of the incident giving rise to a claim, they will not pay out.  Of course the problem is - define drunk.  It's obviously aimed at the Magaluf types who get paralytic and then fall over and hurt themselves, but it could just as easily catch out the holiday maker who's had a few glasses of wine and has a completely unrelated accident.  Just to compound the problem, these clauses about drink most often appear in the "small print" so you can be blissfully unaware of them until your claim is refused.  If insurance companies are going to do this sort of thing, then they should be required to highlight it so that any prospective client who accepts the policy does so in the full knowledge that such a restriction applies.

Mixed message?

Rather strange to hear Jeremy Corbyn say in his speech to the Labour Party's Conference that "you don't have to take what you're given", because under a government run by him, that's exactly what you would have to do. A Corbyn government would be all about control, nationalisation, five-year plans and the like. Socialism is based on the principle that the government decides what's what, and the public has no choice but to go along with it.  Indeed, choice is somewhat of a dirty word as far as socialism is concerned - decisions should be made on the basis of what is deemed to be best for society as a whole, rather than on individual preferences.  I wonder if he appreciated the irony?

Pick a card, any card...

Take a pack of cards and shuffle it.  Just an ordinary, everyday activity, and yet you've probably just made history.  The particular arrangement of cards you've ended up with has almost certainly never been seen before.  What am I on about? Well refer back to my posts under the title "How many?" in November and  December 2008 and you will I hope see that the number of ways a pack of cards can end up after a random shuffle is 52! - that is, factorial 52.  Now that's an enormous number
 80,658,175,170,943,878,571,660,636,856,403,766,975,289,505,440,883,277,824,000,000,000,000 to be exact.  And this is far, far greater than the number of seconds since the earth came into being, so you can see why every shuffle can be considered unique.  In fact, it's not quite as simple as that, because the way most people shuffle cards (the riffle shuffle) is not really random, but will still produce at least 4,503,599,627,370,496 different results and doing it more than once, as most of us do, will quickly produce a number greater than the age of the earth. So like I say, you've almost certainly made history.

Back to British Rail?

Difficult to understand how anyone old enough - as Jeremy Corbyn is - to remember when the railways were nationalised, would want to go back to that system.  Not that privatisation has been an unqualified success, but it's certainly an improvement, if only marginally, on what went before. The problem with nationalisation is that when you take something into public ownership so that theoretically it belongs to all of us, the reality is that everybody leaves worrying about the running of it to everybody else (or more accurately, to the government, who have usually more pressing things on their mind) with the result that nothing much gets done and whatever it is just bumbles along in the most inefficient way - at least with privatisation, there are shareholders with a vested financial interest to kick up a fuss if things are not going well.

A nice place to live.

There's a lovely little curiosity not far from where I live - the village of Bournville. Yes, I'm sure you associate the name with Cadbury's chocolate, and you're right. Back in the late 1800s, George Cadbury, one of two brothers running the chocolate factory founded by his father was so appalled by the slum conditions many of his workers were living in in Birmingham that he decided to build houses for them in the countryside outside the city, and Bournville was born.  So it is a "model" village - planned from the word go and as such has developed a very closed community feel. There is a Village Trust which exercises quite close control over what residents can and can't do.  You won't see TV aerials there for instance - they're banned.  I remember many years ago visiting relatives of my wife who lived there, and asking what the strange black box next to their television was, to be told that it was their cable connection to the village's one and only aerial.  Cable TV years before the expression became commonplace!  I often wonder how these days they cope with the question of satellite dishes.  The other big thing is that, as the Cadbury family were Quakers, there are no pubs, and indeed the sale of alcohol is banned within the village.  There have been several attempts to change this, but it appears that those who live there rather like the fact that they're different and want to keep it that way. They can, of course, buy their booze outside the village and drink it at home.

Gotcha??

How do the police get away with flouting the law?  Seems incredible, doesn't it? What's brought this on? Well Humberside police have started using handheld speed cameras concealed in tractors and horseboxes and such on a particular stretch of road where there have been a lot of accidents involving motorcycles..  The Department of Transport say that "vehicles from which mobile speed cameras are deployed should be liveried and clearly identifiable as an enforcement vehicle."  You can argue that what the police are doing is in the interests of road safety, but what about the DoT regulations?  And here's the catch - the police maintain that what the Department put out are merely "guidelines" which they are at liberty to ignore if they wish.  Of course we've been down this line before, more than once in fact - what should be the purpose of enforcement cameras, to catch those breaking the law, or by advertising their presence, prevent them doing so?  Answers on a postcard - to Humberside police.

Eye to the main chance?

So this VW emissions test business.  Apparently the company have put several billion Euros aside in anticipation of being sued by those who have bought their cars.  But is this reasonable?  I would imagine that the vast majority of people who buy a car choose it on looks and performance rather than on emissions.  That's not to say that they pay no regard to the emissions figures, but that that aspect is way down the list of what is important to them.  I'm sure there will be plenty of people queuing up to sue VW but I'm equally sure that most of them will be looking to make a quick and easy buck rather than genuinely feeling they have been conned into buying a car they might otherwise not have bought.  Such is human nature.

What about the bowler hat?

If I asked you to name a racist symbol, I imagine many of you would go for the swastika, or maybe a defaced star of David, or perhaps a KKK burning cross.  But, a sombrero?  I'd be surprised if anybody came up with that - unless, that is, you had any connection with the University of Norwich, where a local Mexican restaurant has been forbidden from giving out free sombreros to students, and students have been forbidden from wearing them.  And, according to University officials, this has nothing to do with the restaurant looking to boost its sales, but because "at all events we try to ensure that there is no behaviour, language or imagery which could be considered racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic or ableist.”  As the sombrero is so clearly associated with Mexico, it can only be presumed that they see it as racist. Strange...

Ha ha.

I asked my University friend what his plans for the day were.  "Well" he said "I'm going to my philosophy lecture, and then I'm going down to the local brothel to get laid".  I looked surprised.  "Yes, I know" he said "You think I'm putting Decartes before the whores".

Uh??

It seemed a bit strange when Corbyn appointed a vegan as shadow minister for environment, food and rural affairs - particularly as it appears that he didn't realise she was a vegan, but it's become even more bizarre now that she has declared that her policy is that meat should be treated like tobacco, and steps taken to discourage the public from eating it.  Her reasons seem to be partly environmental - animals, particularly cows, add to the amount of methane in the atmosphere - and partly animal welfare - slaughtering animals for food is cruel.  She is, of course, entitled to her personal opinions on the subject, but as a shadow minister she has a responsibility to speak and act in the best interests of the country as a whole, and this "I don't like it, therefore you shouldn't be allowed to do it" approach smacks of naïvity, and frankly, unsuitability to hold the post

Piggate?

So David Cameron may or may not have done some silly things at University?  So?? Take a walk down Broad Street in Birmingham any Friday or Saturday night and you will see young people of a similar age doing all sorts of stupid things.  So what makes Cameron's peccadillos - if indeed they exist - so special? Is it because he's the PM? Or is it. as I suspect, because he's seen as "posh" and posh people are not expected to behave like that?  It's sort of reverse snobbery - the "upper classes" are supposed to walk round with their noses in the air and treat the rest of us with disdain, but above all are supposed to be aloof and behave with dignity and raise their little fingers when they drink a cup of tea.  And somehow when they turn out to be just like the rest of us (albeit with a lot more money) it comes as a shock.  Feet of clay is the expression that springs to mind.

Am I missing something?

So Volkswagen have installed software on their diesel cars which can reduce the amount of pollution they produce.  This apparently only kicks in when the car detects that it is being tested.  But if the software is there and, it would seem, works, why on earth don't they have it running all the time? I've a feeling that somehow I'm not seeing the whole picture?

Clever!

What do you make of this?



The square root of -1 doesn't exist - that is there is no number which, when multiplied by itself (squared) = -1.  However mathematicians sometimes find that it is useful to pretend that it does. When they use it this way they designate it as "i" - standing for the imaginary number,

2 cubed = 2 x 2 x 2 which equals 8

The Greek letter sigma is used in mathematics to signify "the sum of" or just "sum"

And the final Greek letter is of course "pi" and is used to represent the number of times you can divide the diameter of a circle into its circumference.  This is a famous irrational number - meaning it cannot be expressed exactly - the decimal places go on for ever.

So - the expression reads "I ate some pie".

Oh no, not again!

I find it depressing when I have to return to the same subject over and over again. The Court of Appeal have upheld a longer than usual sentence imposed on a rapist because the girls he raped were Asian and thus, the argument goes, the act brought particular shame on them and their families and devalued their worth as future brides. The unstated, but obvious corollary is that, had they been British and white, a shorter sentence would have been appropriate as, among other things, virginity in a prospective bride is not so much looked for or expected in our culture.  Why is this so very, very wrong? Because, as I've said before, the criminal law should not be concerned, in matters of guilt or innocence or sentencing, with victims.  Please read my post of 5/1/06 to save me having to rehash what I said then. Like I say, I find it utterly disheartening that I am having to repeat myself.  The status, worth or otherwise of the victim of a crime should have no bearing on the sentence, which should simply reflect the extent to which society's laws have been broken.

An Inspector Calls

I studied it at school, studied it again when one of my kids had to do it for GCSE, and believe it or not, now one of my grandkids has it as a set book (well, play).  I've seen it on stage, and saw the film (Alistair Sim), so what did I think of the recent BBC adaptation?  Well, disappointed, I have to say - why didn't they just stick to the script?  You got the impression that they thought that as it was television, they had to be different somehow.  The film suffered from much the same problem but at least it didn't keep interrupting the action to do it like the TV did.  J B Priestley wrote a tight, claustrophobic little drama and how do you improve on perfection.  Answer - you don't even try!  Just as a point of interest, this play - seen as quintessentially English - was given its first performance in Moscow.

Tick tock - bang?

Story from across the pond of a young boy (who just happens to be a Muslim) who made a home-made clock and took it to school.  The teachers thought it was a bomb (apparently it ticked) and called the police, who arrested him.  He was later released without charge, so you would think that was the end of that?  Not a bit of it - President Obama, perhaps somewhat unwisely, invited him to the White House, so it all became political.  Sarah Palin - never one to miss a chance - is on record as saying "Right. That's a clock, and I'm the Queen of England".
        PLEEEZE - don't let it be a clock!!

The Lazy Cook

My recent post about peanut butter covered bananas wrapped in bacon tickled a memory I had about reading somewhere that you could make ice cream out of bananas.  Yes really!  If you cut up bananas and freeze them and then blitz them in a food processor and keep blitzing and keep blitzing they will eventually turn into ice cream.  Not real ice cream of course, but it has the consistency and mouth-feel of real ice cream.  Great for anybody with dairy intolerance, and delicious for everybody!

We're coming through, ready or not!

Anybody else feel uncomfortable about the pictures we're seeing coming from Hungary and Croatia? And just who do we side with?  The migrants, many of whom seem to be acting more like a mob storming the battlements than people simply looking to find a friendly country to settle down in, or the police and army who are in danger of being seen as overly heavy-handed.  And which is cause, and which effect? Can't help feeling that Germany - acting with the best of intentions - must bear responsibility for effectively throwing open its borders to the migrants with perhaps insufficient thought being given as to what the practical results of that might be, and then backing off when those became clear. Interesting that eastern and central Europe is now experiencing what we've been having to put up with for years with those trying to get here from France. Perhaps they might be a bit more sympathetic to our problems in future?

Words, words...

Back in the 13th century there lived a man who went by the name of John Duns Scotus.  He was a philosopher and was considered one of the cleverest men of his time.  The "Scotus" part of his name simply indicated that he came from Scotland, so his real surname (to the extent that they had such a concept back then) was Duns. Why is this interesting?  Because, despite being such a clever man and a brilliant thinker, his name has given us a word for those who are exactly the opposite.  His ideas fell out of favour in the 16th century and those who espoused them were considered outdated and silly. They were known as Dunsmen, or Dunses - and so gave us the word "dunce".  It is said he favoured a conical hat, which is why the dunce's cap is so shaped.

Jez we can???

So what do we make of Jeremy Corbyn, the new leader of the Labour party?  I think he's going to have the same problems as Ed Milliband, only more so.  He is a creature of the unions and the hard left and that isn't going to play well with the electorate at large.  So, like Milliband, he is caught between a rock and a hard place.  Does he act so as to appease those who voted him in, which will not win him any elections, or does he seek popular approval, which will alienate those who voted for him?  His choice of shadow cabinet certainly seems to suggest that he's going for the former, in which case it's probably going to be Michael Foot all over again.

Which is which?

We're celebrating the 75th anniversary of the Battle of Britain and there will be flypasts by the few remaining aircraft of that generation.  Pride of place of course will go to the Spitfires and Hurricanes - but can you tell them apart?  As a child of the war, I could of course, and still can, although it's not as easy as it was.  In the early days it was simple - Spitfires had rounded ends to their wings, Hurricanes had straight ends.  But then you began to get Hurricanes with round ends, so that didn't work any more. The one definitive way of telling them apart was, and still is, by the canopy - if you can see it. Spitfires have a canopy made of a single piece of perspex, whereas Hurricanes have what I always think of as greenhouse windows - separate individual panes.  It's the one sure way of telling one from t'other.

God save her.

Thanks to a great site called what-if.xkcd.com for this little gem.  It used to be said that the British Empire was "The empire on which the sun never set".  The point being that at all times it was daytime somewhere in the Empire.  Well, the Empire is long gone, but apparently the saying is still true, if only just.  What is left of the old Empire is still sufficiently scattered around the globe that it is always daylight somewhere. Go to the site and click on "Archive" and look for "Alert the Queen!!" for a full explanation.

Labour leadership.

It all seems to be about Jeremy Corbyn, but am I alone in thinking that we should pay more attention to Tom Watson, who was elected as his deputy.  I've a feeling that he will be the front man, while Corbyn stays more in the background.  Does it matter? Well, yes I think it does.  Corbyn is a conviction politician - we know exactly what he stands for, and he's unlikely to change his position. But Watson is a career politician - he will always have his eye on the main chance and what best suits his ambitions - and I'm sure he would say what is best for the party. And that sort of person is always more difficult to read.  A lot will depend on what sort of team Corbyn chooses as his shadow cabinet, but my feeling is - watch Watson.

The Lazy Cook

OK - I've pinched this off the Net, but it's quick and easy and oh, so good.  You will need bananas (peeled), crunchy peanut butter and rashers of streaky smoked bacon. Once again, I have left quantities up to you, but I found 2 bananas and 6 rashers satisfied me.  So - smother one of the bananas in peanut butter. Lay out a sheet of clingfilm and put down 3 rashers on it so that they slightly overlap.  Put the banana at right angles to the rashers and use the clingfilm to roll the rashers tightly round the banana. Unroll the clingfilm and secure the "swiss roll" you have created with a wooden skewer,  Repeat with the other banana and the rest of the bacon.  Put them under a hot grill and cook, turning regularly until the bacon is crisp all round.  And there you have it - yummy or what?

Ageism?

So Parliament has voted decisively against the Assisted Dying Bill.  Was it me, or did it appear that those opposed were mostly younger, and those in favour mostly older? I'm now 78 - what right have those in their 30s,40s and 50s to tell me what I may or may not do?

Ha ha

Must be time for another joke.
Why do elephants drink so much?
...to try to forget!

Waiting....

At some point yesterday, the Queen became this country's longest serving monarch, but in the matter of "longest" records she has to give best to her son.  Prince Charles became heir-apparent at the age of three and has held that position now for 63 years. The previous longest-serving Prince of Wales was Queen Victoria's eldest son, who became William VII.  He had to wait 59 years to ascend to the throne, so Charles took that record some years ago.

They who live by the sword...

Why are we agonising about the death of these two British men who were killed by a deliberate missile strike carried out (at arms length) by the RAF in Syria.  If you take up arms against this country, then you must expect retaliation in kind.  This has been described by some critics as an "extra-judicial execution" but this confuses the justice system with the rules of war.  If they could have been brought before the courts then the law could have taken its course, and doubtless they would have spent the rest of their lives in jail, but as this was not possible then they had to be stopped by whatever means are available. They chose to tread the path they did - their choice, not ours.

Change of heart.

So should we bomb Syria?  A couple of years back Parliament voted against taking military action in Syria, and I supported that stance.  But that was then and this is now - back then the target was seen to be the Assad government which, whatever your views on it, was the legitimate government of the country, so we would have been supporting revolution.  But now the enemy is ISIS or whatever we're calling them these days.  They have no legitimacy, and pose an existential threat to the area and indeed the world at large.  So the argument has changed.  By attacking them, we would in fact be helping Assad, and that doesn't sit all that comfortably with me, but need must...  I think Parliament must reconsider its decision, as I have reconsidered mine.

Never on a Sunday (or Saturday)...

Try not to get admitted to hospital at the weekend - your chances of survival will be worse than if you are admitted during the week.  This is in fact nothing new, and the difference has traditionally been put down to the reduced staffing of hospitals at weekends, particularly at consultant level.  And there have been constant calls for hospitals to switch to a 24/7 schedule, with Saturdays and Sundays treated no differently from any other day.  But - just a thought - could it be that weekend admissions tend to be the more serious and emergency cases and therefore because of that more likely to have a negative outcome?  Bit of both, maybe?

50 shades...?

Black is black, right?  Well, no apparently.  A school in Prestatyn has punished some children for wearing trousers that were the wrong shade of black.  At the beginning of every school year we get these silly stories of children being sanctioned for failure to comply with school rules relating to personal appearance - but it's usually hair styles, or length of skirts or types of shoes or something such.  But this must rank as one of the silliest.  Oh, for the days when schools saw their function as simply to teach.

A picture is worth...

We've all seen that harrowing picture of the body of that little boy washed up on a Turkish beach. Desperately sad - and I am sure that your reaction, like mine, is "something must be done".  But what?  Let's face it, lots of people, including young kids are being drowned every day in attempting to cross by sea into Europe, but we don't hear about them and certainly don't see pictures of them. Should this one incident be such a call to arms?  Is it because what we see is more powerful than what we are simply told about?

Crazy weather!

Apparently they had snow in Birmingham on Wednesday night!

Queen of crime

I once subscribed to a collection of the complete works of Agatha Christie.  Many of them have now gone to other homes, but I still have a few.  I always thought she was badly served by the critics - her books were certainly not high literature, nor ever pretended to be, but they were straightforwardly and well written, and of course brilliantly plotted.  I was interested to read that my favourite story of hers also came top of a poll of the general public.  It's now known as "And Then There Were None", but those of my generation will remember it as "Ten Little (a word I'm not allowed to use these days)". The "plot twist" has been repeated several times since, but she was the first to come up with it.  That and "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd" were her two most superb plot inventions.

Brngg, brngg....

Whatever you think about the current problems with migrants, you have to award some of them ten out of ten for ingenuity.  Many have made their way to the Russian/Norwegian border.  The Norwegian immigration controls forbid entry to anyone on foot or in a motor vehicle who doesn't have the necessary papers.  So what are they doing - they're crossing on bicycles!  Respect!!

Get a move on, Mum!

Well, hooray - I hope.  The Schools Minister has said that siblings should be given the right to go to the same school.  Which of course always used to be the case - why did it ever change?  It can be a nightmare for parents.  I know of one mother who has two kids in different primary schools about 6 miles apart, and in order to get them both there for registration, she has to leave the elder child, who is 8 coming 9 standing on the pavement outside the one school waiting for the gates to open, while she takes the younger one to the other school.  She's very unhappy about "abandoning" the elder one in this way, but has no choice if the younger one is not to get a late mark.  She's told the council of her problem but it seems they couldn't care less.  Hopefully this move by the Minister will improve matters - if not for her, then at least for future parents. I certainly hope so.

Do you want fries with that?

Two of my grandchildren have jobs at McDonalds (not the same one) so I was aware of the fact that the chain are looking up go somewhat more tech-y and upmarket, with touch-screen ordering, more adventurous menus and waitress service.  There's been much discussion about this among the staff apparently, and the general feeling seems to be that the firm are in danger of throwing out the baby with the bath-water. McD's have made their name (and their fortune) on being a fast food outlet - with the accent on "fast".  Most customers go there for a quick tasty meal - order, scoff, go, as one put it.  It seems debateable whether that sort of customer will stay loyal if they no longer get what they're used to.  Presumably McD's have done their research, but it will be interesting to see what happens.  My grandkids are more worried about whether their jobs (such as they are) will still be there in twelve months' time.

What sort of reader are you?

It's some time since I've given you an update on my Kindle (see 36/9/12).  Well, firstly, it's not a Kindle any more - I've passed that onto my grand-daughter and I now use the Kindle app on my Nexus to read e-books.  Still buy the occasional paperback, but mostly my reading is done on the Nexus.  Interesting (but perhaps not that surprising) fact I came across the other day is that when someone compared the top-selling books as listed by Waterstones (physical books that is) with the top-selling e-books according to Amazon, they found that the anonymity provided by reading on a Kindle or such (nobody can see what you're reading) means that we download the trashy stuff to read that way, whereas the knowledge that with a real book anyone can see the cover and the title means that we tend to go for the more worthy sort of writing when buying a physical book.  Like I say, not that surprising perhaps - bit like putting your bottle of cheap plonk in a Waitrose carrier bag.

Erm.....

It seems that not remembering those "senior moments" when, for example, you find yourself in the kitchen and can't think why you've gone in there can be an early sign of dementia.  But if I don't remember them, then how do I know I'm not remembering them?  Seems a bit Catch-22 to me! 

Men not allowed.

Women-only carriages on trains?  The idea has been put forward by Jeremy Corbyn, the apparent front-runner in the competition to become the next leader of the Labour party.  This has resulted in immediate cries of outrage from feminists, saying that the idea would set the cause of female equality back years.  Actually it's not a new idea - back in the days of the chuffa-trains, most had female-only carriages. They slowly fell out of use and had more or less died out by the 1970s.  So is there a case for bringing them back?  Apparently assaults on women on public transport are on the increase - in the case of trains, maybe because many of them don't have guards any more.  I suppose the question is, would having women-only areas make any difference? Would men - particularly the "laddish" ones - respect them?  It might even make things worse - but it's certainly worth discussing.

A is for 'orses...

An ex-policeman got told off by the Department of Work and Pensions for spelling out his reference number phonetically and using "Zulu" for "Z".  He was told that you can't do that any more - you now have to use "Zebra".  Really?  Wikipedia still gives Zulu as the correct phonetic word in the NATO alphabet.  I myself go back to the "Able, Baker, Charlie, Dog" days, when Z was indeed Zebra.  This, by the way is where "Roger" meaning OK comes from - back then Roger was the phonetic word for R which in the days of telegraphy was shorthand for "message received".  Romeo, which is the current word for R doesn't cut it somehow, does it?  Indeed the switch from the old alphabet to the new NATO one left some of us puzzled.  It was said to be needed because other members of NATO found some of our English words difficult to pronounce and understand.  But what baffled us was that F in the old language was Fox, and in the new NATO alphabet Foxtrot - so if Fox caused problems, how would Foxtrot improve matters?  Anyway, I think DWP need to explain themselves. 

Oh, come on...

So my generation - "middle class pensioners" - are now risking their health, not to mention endangering the future of the NHS, by drinking too much.  The equivalent of a bottle of whisky a week, say the reports.  To which my response is - only one bottle??

Hope we don't lose Carol Kirkwood!

It came as a bit of a shock to realise that the Met Office charge for their services. If I thought about it at all, I always assumed that they were a public service paid for by the public purse.  But it appears not, and it seems that the BBC, who have used them to provide their weather forecasts for nearly a century, can no longer afford them. They intend to put the contract to supply them with weather forecasts out to tender, and as from next year we may be getting our weather information from some foreign organisation.  All seems wrong, somehow.

A sad day.

Papers full of the dreadful plane crash at the Shoreham Air Show when a historic jet fighter doing a loop-the-loop came down on a busy road killing at least seven people. Just awful, but also a little puzzling I feel.  I've been to the Cosford Air Show a few times, and it always seemed obvious to me that the "stunts" performed had been arranged so that if - God forbid - anything should go wrong, the plane would come down in open ground away from any houses.  Here, it seems to me, the loop-the-loop manoeuvre was always designed to end with the plane pulling out dangerously close to the road with houses on both sides and no room for error. There will doubtless be an inquiry and I will be interested to see if this aspect is explained.

Here's a funny thing...

...why is it that on calculators and computer keypads the numbers go from 1 to 9 starting at the bottom and going upwards, whereas on telephone keypads (and ATMs and card readers) they go from 1 to 9 starting at the top and going downwards?  And then, just to confuse the issue, the "0" key is at the bottom on both.  I don't have an answer, but it has been suggested that there may be a connection here with Benford's Law (see 15/9/14) in that data entered into a calculator or computer are likely to comply with Benford's Law, and therefore the lower numbers will be used more often, but telephone numbers and PIN numbers, which are essentially random, will not and therefore the more logical top to bottom layout is used.  Anyone know different?

So you're sorry, so...?

So if Jeremy Corbyn becomes the leader of the Labour party, he will apologise on behalf of the party for the Iraq war.  So...??  I was against the decision at the time and have posted about it several times since, but what use (to me at least) is an apology from a man who was not involved in the decision and indeed voted against it. Pointless, it seem to me.  Now if Tony Blair were to apologise...  But that's never going to happen, is it?

Beg pardon??

A Lancashire police force put a message on Facebook concerning beggars in a local town centre,  It read
"We would like to remind people not to give money to the males who sit next to Wilkinson's in Burnley town centre.  Begging is an offence and quite often causes upset to the elderly people going to and from their vehicles.  It only encourages them to keep sitting there and not make any effort to work, thank you."
And then a little while later a subsequent message read
"We have removed the last post we made about begging in Burnley Town Centre.  We clearly could have chosen our words better on this one and whilst we never set out to offend anyone if we have on this occasion we're sorry. Thanks."
So, am I missing something?  What was wrong with the first message?  Just who was offended - other than possibly the beggars?  The police didn't explain their change of heart, so I remain somewhat baffled.

Shame on us!

I raised the question of giving automatic asylum to those who had helped UK forces by interpreting for them in Iraq back in 2008 and the question is being raised again in connection with those who have interpreted for us in Afghanistan.  I find it unbelievable that we should throw these people to the dogs - where is our sense of honour?