Victoria sponges at ten paces?

I think I've mentioned before in these pages that I like watching "Masterchef" but I've never been tempted to watch The Great British Bake Off - don't know why but the idea of watching people bake cakes has never appealed.  However I was round at my son's last Wednesday evening and they watch it and therefore so did I.  And of course this was the contentious one where one of the contestants threw his teddies out of the pram when his Baked Alaska went wrong, and was eliminated. Bit of a storm in a teacup I thought, but it seems to be one of those things which has taken on a life of its own.  The lady who was peripherally involved has come in for some stick (and has apparently subsequently withdrawn from the show citing an injury) and people have taken to Facebook and Twitter demanding that the eliminated contestant be reinstated.  All this of course ignores the fact that the whole series has been pre-recorded and therefore is not subject to change.  Think some people need to get a life - and I'm round at my son's again on Wednesday - help!!

See you, Jimmy!

I've had my say on postal voting - more than once - and you'll have gathered that I'm agin it, or at least the modern approach where you no longer have to give a good reason in order to get one.  But the news that postal votes for the Scottish independence referendum are being put up for sale on eBay surprised even me.  I would have thought this is probably illegal, but have been unable to find any definitive answer to the question.  Media reports say "the police are investigating..." but no more. And the interesting theoretical question for me is, if it is illegal just who has broken the law?  Is it the person who puts it up for sale, or - presuming they use it - is it the person who buys it?  It's certainly illegal to turn up at a polling station pretending to be someone else and voting in their name but if somebody knowingly lets you do that, I'm not so sure if they have broken the law.  Watch this space, as they say.

Join the dots - what dots??

The papers are full of calls for Shaun Wright to resign.  Who he??  Well he was head of child services at Rotherham council at a time when apparently hundreds of young children were being systematically groomed for sex by a gang of Pakistani men, and it is said that he was, or at the very least should have been aware of what was going on, and did nothing.  Right - resign yes?  But the point is that he is no longer in that post and is now Police Commissioner for South Yorkshire, which Rotherham comes under.  And it is this post that there are now demands he resigns from.  Am I missing something - where is the connection?  If what is said about him is true, then he should certainly be apologising and grovelling and perhaps being put in the stocks and pelted with rotten fruit, but what has this to do with the post of Police Commissioner?  Do the allegations (again I stress, if true) make him any less able to carry out the duties of the post he now holds.  Why should there be any question of resignation?  I ask again - am I missing something?

You're kidding???!

This is not a spoof !  HM Revenue and Customs (the tax man to you and me) are holding a VIP service in Westminster Abbey in a few weeks to "recognise the taxman's work collecting revenue".  The mind boggles!  And this it seems is being done at the behest of Lin Homer, now head of HMRC, and whose last post was Head of UK Borders Agency who of course were heavily involved in the eBorders fiasco which I posted about a week or so ago.  It just gets better and better, doesn't it?

What a work-round!

An official Iranian report has revealed that a significant number of Iranian young men and women are having sex before marriage.  This is a surprising revelation coming from such a closed authoritarian regime, but what surprised me even more is the fact that apparently under Iranian law you can enter into a temporary marriage for a fixed period of time and this is being suggested as a way of legitimising what is going on. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

Ice bucket challenge

It seems the latest craze (or one of them) is tipping - or getting someone else to tip - a bucket of iced water over your head.  Oh, to be young and stupid again!

R.I.P.

Richard Attenborough - what can I say?  A man of many parts, and all of them brilliant.

Is there an answer?

Perceptive quote from the ex-Mayor of Ferguson, the American town which is currently infamous for the shooting dead of a black youth by a white police officer, leading to accusations of racism - and worse. "Sure we're segregated. Most cities are. People want to be with people that look like them, think like them, talk like them. It's human nature.  It doesn't mean it's bad" And he's right - segregation in and of itself is neither good nor bad - it's just the way things tend to be.  Just think of the way there are small areas of the Costa del Sol which are predominantly populated by Brits.  Segregation only becomes a problem when it leads to isolationism, which in turn leads on both sides to a "them and us" mentality.  And that unfortunately happens all too easily.  So then it becomes a sort of "chicken and egg" problem.  Which is the cause and which the effect?

No - Magnum PI is a TV programme!

What's the current rate of inflation?  Should be a straightforward question with a definitive answer, yes?  But no - it depends on which measure of inflation you are using.  There are two - RPI (Retail Price Index) and CPI (Consumer Price Index).  I don't pretend to understand the nuances, but RPI tends to be a higher figure than CPI.  So the sneaky thing is that the Government choose which index suits them best in the circumstances.  When it comes to increases in the state pension, for example, they use CPI, 'cause that's generally lower, but when it come to increasing the price of rail fares, they use RPI, 'cause that's generally higher.  I think it's called having it both ways!

Here we go again...

We've talked more than once in these pages about government's lamentable track record when it comes to IT projects, but the latest fiasco - the so-called eBorders system - takes the biscuit.  This was to be a "count-'em-out and count-'em-in" system which would have kept comprehensive records of everybody entering and leaving these islands, but as is so often the case the actual details of what was required kept being changed with the result that what was eventually produced satisfied nobody.  So one of the first acts of the current Government, when it came to power in 2010 was to cancel it.  That would have been bad enough, but this was done on the advice of civil servants that the company involved had failed to meet the specifications asked for, and therefore were to blame for the failure. But the company took the matter to court and have been awarded some £185m damages after the court found they had done precisely what was asked of them, and that the problem was that the project, as designed by government, was never going to work the way it was supposed to. Of course all those involved have moved on (and in the case of civil servants, almost certainly moved up) by now, so the probability is that no-one will be held to account.  Ain't that wonderful?

Do good to those that hate you??

Interesting to see the Pope wading in to the Iraq business saying that the use of force is justifiable. Always been a bit of a problem for Christians - the religion is based on the teachings of Jesus - love your enemies, turn the other cheek and so on, so how can you justify going to war and killing people? I think it was Pope Urban the something-or-other back around the first millennium who made the switch and came up with the concept of "holy war" with automatic absolution for those taking part and which led directly to the Crusades. Since when, of course, the teachings of Jesus - at least as far as this aspect is concerned - have gone right out of the window.

Believe it or not...

How about this for a turn-around?  Monty Python's final show was broadcast on the Gold TV channel before the 9 o'clock watershed, and therefore the dialogue was somewhat sanitised to reflect this fact. This has produced some 30-odd complaints to Ofcom about the lack of swearing!  And Ofcom have said they are investigating...

I want best value for my pensioner's pound.

I'm a big fan of Amazon - I use them regularly and have never had anything other then prompt service and good value from them.  Apparently they are in serious dispute at the moment with a certain book publisher over the pricing of their books sold through Amazon - electronic versions in particular.  It's all about money of course, albeit that both sides are trying to claim the moral high ground.  Speaking as a consumer, as far as I am concerned a book is simply a product - no different in essence to a tin of baked beans.  I owe the author and publisher of a book no more (or less) consideration than I do to all the various people involved in the production of my beans.  It's the end product that concerns me, and how much I have to pay for it.  So to the extent that Amazon appear to be trying to keep the cost low, whereas the publishers seem to be trying to keep it high, I'm rooting for Amazon!

No hiding place

Have you seen the almost unbelievable story of how you can be eavesdropped upon using just about anything which happens to be close to you?  It goes like this - any sound causes anything nearby to vibrate, albeit microscopically in most cases.  But a sensitive enough video camera running at high speed can capture these vibrations, which can then be converted back to the sound which created them.  So there's no need to bug you by planting hidden microphones - all you need is line of sight and a good enough camera.  So be careful out there!

Ooh - you can't say THAT!!

I have to confess to being somewhat baffled by the reaction in some quarters to the reporting of the tragic death of Robin Williams earlier this week.  It seems to be seriously being suggested that the fact that he took his own life should not have been mentioned, or at the very least skirted around.  I am reminded of the time when it was said that death notices in the "posh" newspapers which included the phrase "following a short illness" was code for suicide.  Why shouldn't the full facts be published?  It seems that the fear is that the suicide of a celebrity may lead to others following suit who might otherwise not have done so.  But the phrase "tail wagging the dog" springs to mind - newspapers are there to report the news, and the fact is that he committed suicide.  Are they to be prevented from reporting this fact because it might have certain repercussions?  That's censorship surely?  It has been suggested that some of them should have treated the matter with more sensitivity and restraint - but then there's a certain section of the press who are not exactly noted for those characteristics.  So where does this end?  Are we not to be allowed to know anything which might cause somebody to harm themselves - or worse?  There are so many vulnerable and damaged people out there with such a variety of problems that it's questionable whether you would ever be able to publish anything.

More than one form of extremism?

The "trojan horse" business rumbles on (see posts of 17th April and 10th June). The Department of Education is considering the publication of regulations which will oblige all schools - including independents and academies - to "actively promote British values" - which are defined, among other things, as "respect for legally ‘protected characteristics’ such as homosexuality, religion, gender change, disability, race and marital status".  The Daily Mail blue-rinse brigade have immediately pounced on this as meaning that schools will not be able to celebrate Christmas unless they celebrate other religions' festivals to the same extent, and that teachers will not be able to use words like "husband" and "wife" when discussing marriage, because that would be discriminatory to same-sex couples. Load of round things of course, but what do we think?  Are the regulations an over-reaction? Surely all it amounts to is, as happens at my local primary (about 90%+ white), that kids should know all about Islam, Sikhism, Ramadan, Diwali and the like, and should be aware that there are families which may have two fathers or two mothers.  What's the alternative?  That they should remain ignorant of these things until they face them in real life?  What are schools for if not to prepare kids for what they may have to deal with in the future? Get a grip, folks!

Police state?

This Cliff Richard business - I find it extremely worrying that apparently a warrant can be issued to enter and search your property on the basis of an untested allegation of wrongdoing, without you having any say in the matter, or even it seems being aware that it is going on.  I've had my say before about what I see as the "we'll arrest you now and hope to find the evidence later"  approach, but this seems to take matters even a step further to "we'll skip the arrest bit, and just go straight to trawling through your stuff in the hope of finding something which we can use against you".  Cart before horse springs to mind.

And also...

Lauren Bacall,  No sadness here - she's had a good long life.  One of my childhood screen sweethearts.  And I did whistle - several times!

R.I.P.

Robin Williams - what a tragedy.  Drugs and alcohol I can accept - it pretty well goes with the territory out in La-La-Land - but depression??  How could such a funny, apparently fun-loving man get so low as to not be able to see any future for himself? Tragic, tragic, tragic. 
Nanu nanu.

Are you flying your flags?

Have you got a washing line, or do you use a tumble-dryer?  Or perhaps, like me, you have a washing line but never use it?  Yes, I tumble-dry, even though I know it costs me money.  Why?  Well firstly, I'm idle - I can't be arsed to rig up the line - in the time it takes me to do this the washing could be in the dryer, and I could be back in my comfy chair.  But also, my least favourite household task is ironing, and in my experience, washing dried on the line tends to be more crispy and creased and therefore more difficult to iron.  So I'm prepared to pay the extra for the convenience.  How about you? (good song).

Do you take sterling?

Scotland and the pound is in the news again, with Alex Salmond maintaining that it's as much Scotland's pound as England's.  It's not of course (see post dated 23rd February) but what an independent Scotland could do is continue to use the pound. Any country can use whatever currency they want providing (a) they can get hold of it, and (b) it will be unquestionably accepted by the country's shops and businesses.  There are many countries that use the (American) dollar in this way, and Scotland could use that as a model.  But it would continue to be the pound sterling, underwritten by, and at the whim of the Bank of England.  Scotland would have no say over it.  It may well be as regards currency that, in he event of a "yes" vote in the referendum, this would be the the most practical outcome - after all, the probability is that the majority of cross-border trade would be in pounds sterling, and certainly tourists (and tourism would continue to be a big source of revenue for the Scots) would be looking to spend their sterling up there.  I don't think the practicalities are as great as is being made out.

Do as I say, not...

I mentioned the Costa Concordia the other day.  It's captain is on trial for manslaughter, and is accused, among other things, of taking to a lifeboat while the majority of the passengers were still on board struggling to survive.  Not sure whether this is a criminal offence, either in Italy or here, but it certainly goes against the long-held convention that in circumstances like this, the captain is the last person to leave the ship.  So it somewhat beggars belief that he has recently been engaged to give a lecture at a University on - wait for it - "managing panic"!!

Naughty, naughty - smacked wrist!

The P M has "utterly condemned" the actions of ISIS (which we must now apparently call the Islamic State) in Iraq.  Well, blow me - I bet that has them shaking in their shoes.  The US President on the other hand has ordered food drops to those Iraqis who have taken to the hills to avoid being slaughtered and has given the go-ahead for air strikes to defend them and American interests elsewhere.  So, he's doing something whereas we're just talking.  As is often the case, the world is looking to America for action.  But is it right that the US should have to shoulder all the responsibility for policing the world?  Of course not, that is what the UN was created to do, but doesn't.  Why not?  Because the "big five" (Ourselves, France, Russia, the US and China) have the right to veto any UN resolution they don't like, irrespective of what support it might have in the UN as a whole.  Which means, I'm afraid, that the UN is about as much use as my father-in-law's famous chocolate teapot.  So step forward America - you're the only hope for these poor unfortunates.  And us - we'll continue to wag our fingers and speak to them sternly. 
          P.S.  Since writing the above, it has been announced that we will in fact assist with the food drops - perhaps we can kill two birds with one stone, and send them the food which Russia is going to ban us exporting to them.  Let's hope the Iraqis like sage derby cheese!

Connections

What have Rambo and Dixon of Dock Green got in common?  You've probably got to be of a certain age to know the answer to that one - after all it's nearly forty years since P C Dixon (memorably played by Jack Warner - evenin' all) last appeared on our television screens, and over sixty since he made his first appearance in the film "The Blue Lamp". And therein lies the clue to the answer, because in the film P C Dixon was shot and killed (by Dirk Bogarde no less).  And if you've read the book "First Blood" by David Morrell which first introduced Rambo (the opening line is "His name was Rambo...") you will know that at the end of that book, he too dies.  So both are resurrected characters, brought back to live again - and far more famously -  in a different medium.

Back to normal?

Commonwealth Games - I have to say that I was somewhat underwhelmed - don't know whether the fault was with the Games themselves, or BBC's coverage, but I found it difficult to work up any enthusiasm - even for the athletics, which usually has me hooked.  Nice to see England top the medals table, but perhaps that says it all - the Commonwealth Games are sort of the international equivalent of the egg and spoon race at the school sports - a chance for "the others" to have their moment of glory.  And for me there was far too much show-boating and triumphalism - whatever happened to the old-fashioned idea that you won with grace and lost with dignity?  I regret having to say it, but I'm glad it's over.

What's the time?

You know me - if I see a nit I have to pick it.  The WWI centenary commemoration in Westminster Abbey on Monday was nicely done, but as I understood it, the final candle by the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was supposed to be extinguished at 11.00 - this being the time (but see below) when we declared war on Germany in 1914.  But in fact it was nearer five-past when this happened.  And that surprised me - we are usually so good at this sort of thing, and I'm sure there would have been plenty of run-throughs with stop-watches, so I wonder what went wrong, and where those few minutes were lost?  But that's not my main nit-pick.  I had this feeling that there was something wrong with the timing, and was glad to see it confirmed by a recent letter to one of the papers.  We had allowed for the fact that Germany was and is an hour ahead of us, and therefore their midnight would be our 11.00 p.m., but we hadn't factored in that back in 1914 the idea of putting the clocks forward in summer hadn't been thought of, and so the whole thing was an hour too late!  End of nit-pick.

Cherry picking?

If a couple have a disabled child, it's tragic, but it happens.  The idea of refusing to raise your child or accept any responsibility for it because it is disabled is legally and morally indefensible.  So what if you are incapable of carrying a child yourself, and choose to use a surrogate mother - which means that your fertilised egg is implanted in another woman's womb to be carried to term?  No difference surely? And yet we have a situation where an Australian couple have used a surrogate mother to carry on their behalf what turned out to be twins - a boy and a girl.  The boy was found to have Down's syndrome and a heart defect.  The couple have taken the girl but refused to accept the boy. Their argument seems to be that had the real mother been carrying the children she would have had an abortion on learning of the boy's disabilities, but the surrogate mother who is a Buddhist refused to have one as being against her religion.  Not an easy case, but surrogacy is fraught with potential problems and the phrase which pops unbiddened into my mind is "take one, take 'em all".

'Nuff said.

As today we commemorate the centenary of the start of the Great War, I can do no better than quote a cartoon which appeared in a daily paper the other day.  A small group of soldiers are "going over the top" stepping through the barbed wire with shells bursting around them.  One turns to another and says "At least in a hundred years there'll be no more slaughter, Carrurthers...".

Gorra fag?

Think the powers-that-be (whoever they are) need to get their act together over the use of e-cigarettes.  There are those who want to ban them - or at least to the same extent that real cigarettes are banned, and then the tobacco companies seem to have woken up to the potential market opportunity they present and are pushing them.  Many people take the line that we should fear the unknown and err on the side of caution by restricting their supply and use - at least until more is known. The most sensible approach so far seems to me to have come from researchers at a university in London who say that, although e-cigarettes may prove in the long run to have health issues, there is already ample evidence that they are significantly less harmful than real cigarettes, and therefore smokers should be encouraged to switch to vaping (by the way, is it vayping or vapping?).  I think we badly need an authoritative lead on the subject.

We've got time to watch a movie!

I've had my grouses in the past about Birmingham International - my local airport - and I remember one occasion when we had to wait for just under two hours for our luggage to appear after a flight back from Majorca I think it was.  But perhaps I should thank my stars that my local airport is not Gatwick where apparently a two-hour delay would be pretty good.  Last weekend many people had to wait up to five hours to reclaim their luggage - and some in fact had to go home or fly off and leave their bags behind.  So what's the opposite to the saying "the grass is always greener..."? Whatever it is, it would be appropriate.

Stupid plod!

You would think that, in view of all their recent bad press, the police would think twice before doing anything to add to their woes, but no apparently.  A newly-wed couple in Dorset chose to be driven to their reception in a replica of the Dodge car used in the old US TV series "The Dukes of Hazard".  As the car passed some waving well-wishers, the driver sounded the Dixie air-horn for which the original car was famous.  A little further down the road, the car was pulled over by the police. Despite the fact that it was clear that this was a wedding couple on the way to their reception, the police issued the driver with a ticket, and he will be summoned to attend court,  It seems the horn is illegal (why??) but surely this was a case where common sense demanded that they use their discretion and let them go on their way with a warning (and good wishes would have been nice). But then, the words common-sense and police are sort of mutually exclusive, aren't they?