Deep joy.

Well, here we go - trick or treat followed by penny for the guy, followed by Christmas carollers. A more or less solid couple of months of the constant threat of having your peace and quiet interrupted by small, and not so small children demanding money on the flimsiest of pretexts ("where's your guy, then -- oh, it's that mop with a mask on??"). And then there's fireworks going on just about every evening until the small hours. I do try to be charitable about all this, but I'm afraid I've taken to turning all the lights out and pretending not to be in. But really, why should I have to?

Milking the cash cow?

I know people have to make money, and if you've had a good innovative idea you would wish to squeeze as much capital out of it as possible, but I do find it depressing when pointless spin-offs just devalue the original. I am willing to accept that George Lucas always intended that there would be a Star Wars I, II and III (after all, the original was always titled Episode IV) so even if for the most part they were somewhat disappointing, at least they were part of the overall oeuvre, but the news that he now has plans for a TV series leaves me less than impressed. Victoria Wood had it right with "dinnerladies" - when you've created something special, take the plaudits and walk away.

More on taking a chance.

A friend who reads this blog over my shoulder, as it were, has suggested that I was too hard on insurance companies last Thursday. He maintains that the main blame lies with the courts and their willingness these days to award damages for the least little scratch. Well, I don't think the courts are to blame as much as the system of which they are part, and if we're looking for causae sine qua non then we need to go further back in time. The rot really set in some 30 years ago when (a) solicitors got the right to advertise and (b) official recognition was given to conditional fee agreements - so-called "no win, no fee". This has resulted in an explosion of compensation claims, the majority of which, because of the financial penalties which would result from fighting and losing them, are settled out of court - despite the fact that many of the claims have little or no merit, and would probably be thrown out if in fact they came to court. This in turn has resulted in potential defendants to such claims seeking more and more insurance cover, which in turn....blah, blah, blah. Of course, not everybody sees this as a bad thing, and there's no doubt as a result of these changes, some people have received compensation who otherwise would not have realised they might be entitled to it. You'll have to make your own minds up as to whether the good outweighs the bad.

Different strokes for different folks.

Indignation at "child labour" and "sweat shops" being expressed on the news programmes this morning, following the revelation that at least some of a leading High Street clothes shop's stock is being made by young children in Asia. I think we have to be careful before we seek to impose our ideas and values on peoples to whom they may not apply. I remember a report years ago on this subject, which found that in certain parts of the world, the idea of children working was the norm, and indeed without the extra income they brought in, many families would starve. After all, it's not much more than a hundred years ago that it was the norm in this country. Just because we find something distasteful, doesn't necessarily make it wrong in the context in which it is going on. Certainly the child who featured in the undercover film shown as evidence of the practice seemed pretty happy and well-fed.

Ha ha.

Fast running out of jokes, but here's an old one -

One bed-time, the mother of a young boy heard him say in his prayers “God bless Grandad”. The next day, his Grandad dropped dead.
Some nights later, she overheard him say “God bless Grandma”. The next day, his Grandma dropped dead.
A few days later, she came downstairs after putting him to bed, and said to her husband “I don’t want to worry you, but I just heard him say ‘God bless Daddy’”
The next day her husband came home from work and said “What a day! I walked to work, because I didn’t dare take the car, I used the stairs because I was frightened of taking the lift, I haven’t eaten or drunk anything all day, but at least I’m still here.”
His wife said “You think you’ve had a bad day - the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning!!”

Yellow peril.

You can argue 'til you're blue in the face about whether or not children should be taken to, and fetched from school in cars, but the bald fact is that many of them are, and it is a disgrace that schools simply stick their heads in the sand, and make no attempt to provide for the fact. There's a primary school just up the road from where I live, and from about 8.30 to 9.00 in the morning, and again around 3.30 in the afternoon the road outside and for a good few hundred yards either side is clogged with cars dropping children off or picking them up. So what have the powers that be done? - they've gone and painted yellow lines all along where the cars usually stop! Just what are parents supposed to do? Fold their cars up and stick them in their pockets? The result of course is that the problem has simply moved further down the road - and doubtless in due course we shall have yellow lines there as well. The alternative would have been to require the school to make some provision for a drop-off and pick-up area (could be done), but heaven forbid that the school should be put to any trouble or expense - after all, we all know that pupils and their parents are just a necessary evil as far as schools are concerned!

Go on, take a chance!

"Health and Safety" seems to have become a catch-all excuse for any sort of bureaucratic stupidity these days. And yet I don't think the major blame lies with the Health and Safety Executive so much as with the insurance companies, who seem to be using the Executive's guidelines as a reason to increase their premiums to exorbitant levels, with the result that public bodies cannot afford them and therefore cannot go ahead with events they want to put on. It seems, for instance, that many local authorities will be unable to put up the usual Christmas street decorations this year, and many organised bonfire parties have had to be put off. Sad world, isn't it?

Oh, we don't take that!

Marks & Spencer were on the carpet yesterday on breakfast TV for using the biggest proportion of non-recyclable packaging. Whilst they and the other supermarkets obviously do bear some responsibility in this regard, I think the major problem is with the local authorities, who have no consistent or coherent policy on what can be recycled. Here in the West Midlands for example, we have several Metropolitan Councils, all of whom have their own slightly different rules regarding recycling - some will accept cardboard, others not. Some will accept plastic, others not, and so on. About the only things you can guarantee they will all accept are newspapers and glass. I don't think you can ask supermarkets to use more recyclable packaging until there is general agreement among local authorities as to just what is recyclable.

Brum, brum.

So - thoughts on a pretty dramatic Formula 1 season -

1. Raikkonen - despite being Mr Personality-Bypass, a great driver and a worthy champion. Never gave up, kept plugging away, and once Ferrari got their act together, was always going to be there or thereabouts.


2. Hamilton - shame we couldn't have had our fairy-tale ending, but the irony is that all season we have been praising him for showing maturity well beyond his years, yet in the end it was immaturity that was his downfall. His decision in China to try and race Raikkonen when there was no need was a major factor in him getting no points there, and you would have thought he would have learned from that, but in Brazil he made a similar error in trying to prevent Alonso overtaking him, and losing several places as a result. After all, he knew that all he needed to do was finish in the first five, and no more than one place behind Alonso, so he could, and should, have just let him go and tucked in behind him. By doing what he did, even discounting the mechanical problems he had later, he pretty well threw his chances away. Ah well - there's always next year.


3. Alonso - the major disappointment of the season. If only half of what has been reported is true, he needs to take a cold, hard look at himself, and perhaps accept that, talented though he may be, he is not the Formula 1 God he thinks he is.

I also think the FIA need to bang a few heads together, and perhaps look at their rules. It does seem wrong that the personal actions of an aggrieved employee can have such far-reaching consequences for the sport.

Swing low........

Even though they were beaten in the Final, the England Rugby team deserve great credit for getting there - after a dismal start, they punched well above their weight, and went much further than most people (including me) thought they would. And they could have won, you know! They gave away three stupid and unnecessary penalties in the first half, and that nine points, at the end of the day, was the winning margin for South Africa. And I reckon we should have had a try, so there!!

Blinkered vision.

Even if you accept that the US and ourselves had a valid reason for going to war with Iraq, the main criticism seems to be that nobody really gave any thought to what would happen after. Much the same considerations seem to me to apply to the leadership of the Liberal Democrats. Ok so they've got rid of Sir Ming - but what now? Whatever his faults - perceived or real - at least Menzies Campbell was a recognisable face with a distinctive style and a certain amount of gravitas, but other than Charles Kennedy, who else is there with leadership qualities? The two main candidates are political nonentities whose only appeal seems to be that they are younger than Ming. I've a feeling that the LibDems may well regret what they have done.

Time to barge in?

The West Midlands has a large canal network - much of it still navigable, or able to be made so for little cost. So I was very interested in the news that Tesco are starting to re-use the Manchester Ship Canal for transporting goods in that neck of the woods. Whenever the question of heavy lorries on the roads round here is raised, I am among those who ask why more use is not made of the canals. If the transportation of all non-perishable goods were to be transferred onto the canals, it would make a massive reduction in the number of HGVs on the roads. The main problem seems to be that it would not fit in with the "just in time" philosophy used by most businesses these days - but perhaps the current obsession with the need to be greener will provide the necessary impetus to look again at this old-fashioned method of getting from A to B.

Who's a chubby little boy then?

Well hoorah, as George would have undoubtedly said in Blackadder Goes Forth - it would seem that I'm not to blame for being fat after all - it's a consequence of modern life, according to a government think-tank. It seems our bodies are still primed to obey the primitive urge to stuff as much food down ourselves as possible when it's available to guard against the possibility of famine tomorrow. So there! Mind you, I always maintained that I wasn't overweight, it was just that I wasn't tall enough!

Get the picture?

So the switch-over to digital TV is now underway. I have Sky which is connected to the two other sets in the kitchen and the bedroom, so I'm ready whenever, but I do feel for those for whom this has come as a nasty and somewhat expensive shock. The powers that be are trying to tell us that it is no different from previous technological advances, like the change from 405 to 625 lines, or the advent of colour - but there's one important distinction. You didn't have to go with those changes if you didn't want to. You could still watch on 405 lines if you chose, or in black and white after colour came in. The big difference this time is that there is no backwards-compatibility. It will be digital or nothing. Given that this means upgrading every set you've got - and possibly your aerial as well - this may be a significant expense. There was talk of financial assistance for the elderly and those on benefit, but I haven't heard anything about that recently. Seems everybody has been left to sort themselves out.

The Lazy Cook

I don't cook - never have (I used to do the washing-up), but now I'm on my own I have to see to my own meals, and supermarket ready-meals, whilst a boon, do start to pale after a time. So I am becoming a little more adventurous, but always with an eye to minimising preparation and washing-up. So I thought from time to time I'd pass on some tips and wrinkles I've learned.

So - porridge. It's getting to that time of year where a good warm breakfast goes down well, but making porridge the traditional way - even with the so-called "quick" oats - is labour-intensive (you need to keep stirring) and leaves you with a messy saucepan to wash up. But it needn't be that way. Here's how - put equal quantities, by volume, of oats, milk and water into the bowl you are going to eat from - I have an espresso coffee cup which hold about 75ml, and I find a cupful of each just about right. Add a good sprinkling of salt and then microwave uncovered on full power for 1½ minutes (see below). Give it a stir and then microwave (still uncovered on full power) for a further 45 seconds. And there you have it! Minimum bother and minimum washing up.

Just two things to say - first, watch out - the bowl will get hot (speaks from experience)! Second, my microwave is a 650w jobby - if yours is different you need to adjust the times. Here's how - take my time and multiply by my wattage, and then divide the answer by your wattage. So, for example, if your microwave is 800w, the calculation, in seconds, is (90 x 650) / 800 = 73 seconds, and (45 x 650) / 800 = 37 seconds.

Bon appetit!

A first step?

The Chief Constable of North Wales - no stranger to controversy - has suggested that all drugs should be legalised and the law used more to control, rather than prohibit their use. All praise to him for bringing the issue out in the open for public debate, but, as I have posted before, the main problem for society lies not in the taking of drugs, but in the practicalities surrounding their supply, and I cannot see the Chief Constable's proposals solving that problem. As long as there is money to be made by supplying them, and as long as users need money to get their fix, so-called drug-related crime will continue.

...like a horse and carriage

Why get married, is a question more and more young people are asking these days - and the statistics seem to suggest that more and more of them are not finding any good reason to. What difference does a piece a paper make, is the way they see it. Surely it is the quality of the relationship that matters, not whether or not you have gone through some ritual? Well, yes, but my question to them would be - why not get married? It always seems to me that by taking a conscious decision not to get married, you are in fact tacitly accepting that the relationship may not last - otherwise why not "go public" and put your money where your mouth is, as it were. And when the relationship comes under pressure - as, depend on it, sooner or later it will - it may well be that marriage vows will be the difference between fighting to make a go of it, or just walking away.

Private is private - or should be.

A story which has been running for some weeks in the local press concerns the manager of a care-home for the elderly who, out of hours, becomes "Miss Whiplash" in her adjoining home, catering to those who are into SM and bondage. As a result of this becoming known, she is under investigation by the administrators of the care home, and may well lose her job. An under-cover reporter has written articles giving a detailed description of just what goes on. But one of these articles does make the point that she is much loved and respected in her role as manager of the home - so am I alone in thinking that, if that is the case, what the hell does it matter what she does in her own time in her own house?

The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ

On this date 700 years ago, it was a Friday, and in an act which makes it rank alongside December 7th 1941 as worthy of being called "a date which will live in infamy" King Philip of France moved against the Knights Templar and had as many of them as possible - including all their leaders - arrested on a trumped-up charge of heresy and blasphemy. Under torture, many of them confessed to the most amazing and obscene acts, and this gave Philip all the cause he needed to move to commandeer their vast wealth - which was the whole grubby purpose of the exercise. And this is the origin of the superstition that Friday the thirteenth is a day to be wary of.

Work-time blues.

It has been suggested that for many people, the weekend starts on Thursday afternoon - that's when they tend to switch off from work and start thinking about what they are going to do on Saturday and Sunday. When I worked, I used to see the working week as a mountain - on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning it was all uphill, Wednesday lunchtime was the summit, and for the rest of the week I was progressively on the way down the other side. Sad, really, isn't it? If you enjoy your job, I don't suppose you think in that way at all, but to quote Thoreau: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"

Confused?

I see in the paper that Prince William is to join both the Navy and the RAF next year. Let's hope he doesn't get them mixed up!

Anything you can do...

Hooray for the Conservatives! Does anybody really think that the Chancellor, Alistair Darling, would have announced what, at least for the survivor of a couple, is in effect an immediate doubling of the inheritance tax threshhold in his pre-budget report if the Tories had not taken the wind out of Labour's election sails last week by stating their intention to restrict the tax to millionaires? After all, this is the same Alistair Darling who last year dismissed out of hand a suggestion by one of his own party that the tax should be eased or scrapped. To paraphrase Dr. Johnson - Depend upon it, sir, when a politician knows his electoral future is at stake, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Busybodies.

The mother of a severely disabled daughter wants her to have a hysterectomy to save them both the problems which might be caused by the onset of menstruation. Doctors are seeking legal advice (why??) before making any decision. Disability groups have waded in to condemn any such operation as "totally and utterly unacceptable". Why don't they keep their noses out? Here is a parent in a desperately unhappy situation seeking to do what she considers best for her child - and let's not forget it is she (the mother) who will have to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. I do not see that it is anybody else's business other than hers. She has made it clear that this is a personal decision, and she would not seek to advocate it as a general approach to this kind of situation. Everybody else should stay out of it and keep their opinions to themselves.

Must try a little harder

I'm tickled pink that England beat Australia in the quarter-finals of the Rugby World Cup, but it does once again highlight the problem of the way the result of a game is decided. I think we would all agree that the object in rugby is to score tries - so why is it then that the side who scored the only try of the game lost? I think it is high time to consider doing away with the penalty kick at goal. Take a quick tap penalty or kick for touch and get the resulting line-out by all means, but let's have the game decided on tries, eh?

Better late than never?

Went for my 'flu jab yesterday. Having had it, on the way out of the surgery I (together with everybody else) was handed a leaflet produced by the manufacturers of the vaccine. Got back to the car and had a look at it. Right at the top in bold letters it said "Read all of this leaflet carefully before you are vaccinated"!

Size matters?

There is, apparently, a "backlash" against the size-zero culture which has dominated fashion and fashion models over the last few years. John Lewis has said it is going to start using some size 14 mannequins in its window displays in an attempt to provide fashions more in tune with what the average woman can wear. Size 16, it seems, is still considered to be on the plump side. Well, Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, and she gets my vote every time!

What a fandango!

So the question of just who wrote "A Whiter Shade of Pale" is back before the courts - or to be more precise, who wrote which bits of it. The dispute centres on the organ intro. Lawyers are in court arguing the case for their two clients, but unfortunately there is no-one there to represent J. S. Bach, who certainly would have a good claim for plagiarism.

Bring back the turkey twizzler!

You don't need to be a child psychologist to know that the surest way to make a kid do something is to forbid them to, and equally the surest way to make them not do something is to tell them they must. But this basic commonsense fact seems to escaped those who are trying to get children to eat "healthier" foods, and who are now expressing surprise and dismay at the fact that the numbers eating school dinners is falling now that burger and chips is no longer allowed to be on the menu. Forcing stuff on kids that they don't want and don't like is never going to work.

Book post

(see post dated 18/11/06)

My latest ten reads -

Steve Berry - The Templar Legacy - 7
C. J. Sansom - Winter in Madrid - 8
Michael Crichton - Next - 8
Robert Harris - Imperium - 7
J. K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - 7.5
Robert Goddard - Never Go Back - 9
Paul Doherty - The Song of the Gladiator - 8
Barry Eisler - The Last Assassin - 9.5
Robert B. Parker - Sea Change - 8
Michael Jecks - The Death Ship of Dartmouth - 6

Petrol prices

Lots in the papers about the latest rise in petrol duty, which, it seems, is likely to force the pump price of unleaded to £1 a litre. But if memory serves, hasn't the £1 a litre barrier already been breached - albeit only for a short period - sometime last year? And it's worth remembering that in real terms, the price of petrol is pretty much the same today as it was 20 years ago, so we haven't really got a lot to complain about in that respect. What I do find completely unacceptable is that part of the pump price we pay is VAT, and that this is charged on a price which includes fuel duty - in other words, we are being taxed (fuel duty) and then taxed (VAT) on that tax, and that surely can't be right!

Am I missing something?

I'm not sure how you punish underperforming public service companies, but I cannot see the logic in fining them. The latest example is Thames Water which faces a fine of over £12m imposed by Ofwat for poor service to its customers. Of course this means that Thames Water will have £12m less to spend, which doubtless will result in even poorer service to its customers! Can anybody see the sense in that?