All in the mind.

A recent report suggests that for most people anti-depressant drugs work no better than placebos. This just reinforces my own view - I'm a firm believer in the "pull yourself together" approach. Depression is a mental state, and as such requires a mental solution. A pill may make you feel better, but will never solve the underlying problem, whatever that is. I think the results of the survey don't so much prove that pills don't have any effect, but rather that it is simply the thought that you are taking something that helps you - in other words, the improvement comes from within your own mind. To quote Shakespeare yet again: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves..."

Movers and shakers.

Enough with the "did the earth move for you" jokes. Yesterday's earthquake - tremor more like - just highlights how fortunate we are in this country that we don't suffer some of the extremes of Mother Nature's behaviour that other parts of the world do. In many ways this country, for all its faults and shortcomings, can indeed lay claim to being the "blessed plot" descibed by Shakespeare.

Enough to drive you to.....

Car-share lanes - what a waste of resources. And now it seems more money is to be spent on a new "smart" camera which can tell the difference between a real person and a dummy. Can I suggest that the money would be better spent on repairing all the pot-hole-ridden roads that we're forced to drive over. I know driving a car - particularly on your own - is now one of the new mortal sins, but car-share lanes, bus lanes, cycle lanes, speed bumps, traffic calming measures - it's a wonder we ever get where we're going!

English as she is spoke.

OK, OK, mea culpa - sort of. "Data" is of course the plural of datum, and therefore should take the plural form of the verb - the data are, rather than the data is. But I've always found that to be a bit pretentious, and the fact of the matter is that most people other than professional statisticians treat data as a singular noun, and that's what I do, even though I know it is strictly wrong. OK?

Can I have a P please, Bob?

There was a time, when I didn't really need them, when there were public toilets all over the place. Now I'm getting old, and my bladder is not what it was, you're hard pressed to find one, and even when you do, the state of them leaves much to be desired. So thank goodness for supermarkets, and I'm all for this idea of getting cafes, pubs and restaurants to permit passers-by to come in and use their toilets. To quote the Bard - for this relief much thanks.

A special day.

So, today's February 24th - just another date, right? Well, not really - not this year anyway. This is a leap year, and contrary to what you might think, the extra day in leap years is not February 29th, but today, the 24th. The reason's pretty complicated and goes back to ancient Roman times, but essentially the rule was (and theoretically, still is) that all official festivals and remembrances which in a normal year would take place on February 24th - 28th, are in a leap year, moved on a day to the 25th - 29th, so the 24th becomes the inserted day. Go on, amaze your friends! As my Gran used to say - no knowledge is ever wasted.

Monty Hall

You will have gathered from past posts that I have a keen interest in statistics and probability. I have no qualifications or specialised knowledge - just an interested amateur. The name of Monty Hall cropped up the other day, and his name is associated with a particular probability problem, which might entertain any of you who share my interest. This is a subject which may well take a series of posts to cover properly, so for starters, here's the problem -
You are the contestant in a game show. You have seen off all the other contestants, and are now alone going for the big prize, a top-of-the-range sports car. You are presented with three doors - call them A, B and C, and told the car is behind one of them. You are invited to pick a door. Let's say you choose Door A. The game-show host (Monty Hall) now opens one of the other two doors, say Door B, and shows that to be empty. He now says to you "Well, obviously the car is not behind Door B. It is therefore either behind Door A - the one you chose, or behind Door C. You may now change your mind if you wish. Do you want to open Door A and take whatever is behind there, or do you want to swop to Door C and take whatever is behind there?" You have been watching this game-show for months now, and have come to realise that Monty Hall will never open the door with the car behind it - after all, this would spoil the game. So, knowing all this, what is your best strategy? Should you stick with your original choice of door, swop to the other door, or doesn't it make any difference? More later.

Bobby dazzler

Cristiano Ronaldo was apparently dazzled by a laser beam from the crowd at Wednesday night's match against Lyon. Makes a change from him being dazzled by his own brilliance!

Say what you mean.

I don't wish in any way to belittle the recent events in Bridgend, and it certainly seems that there is something very worrying going on there, but I found myself getting extremely annoyed at one of the articles in yesterday's papers which expressed alarm at the recent incidence of teenage suicides in that area being "above average". Now think about it for a moment - by the very way in which averages are arrived at, there must by definition be data which exceeds the average, just as there must be data which is below the average - otherwise it wouldn't be the average, if you see what I mean. So such a statement is really pretty meaningless, except to indicate that the data falls at the higher or lower end of the scale - certainly doesn't mean that anything unusual is going on. Presumably what the writer intended to get across was that the number of suicides significantly exceeded the statistical norm - that is, what could reasonably be expected based on previous experience. Not the same thing at all.

Saint Delia.

It seems I may have to think again about my "Lazy Cook" series of posts, because it would appear that Delia Smith's new book "How To Cheat At Cooking" has stolen my clothes - or I have stolen hers, depending on which way you look at it. Not that I'm knocking Delia - my wife swore by her, and I have been left with a whole shelf of her books, which I dip into from time to time for information and ideas. After my wife died I came across her book "One is Fun" in a second hand shop, and that has proved a boon, dedicated as it is to recipes for the single eater. I would however take issue with the title - one is definitely NOT fun, Delia, but bless you all the same.

Ha ha

A friend from America sent me this one -

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, who primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as...PINO MORE.

Fair do's...

I take no particular position on what is going on at present concerning Dwaine Chambers, but what I do think is that he is being held responsible for matters which are nothing to do with him - and even more bizarrely, the people who are holding him responsible, are those who are themselves responsible! You may have seen the spokesman for UK Athletics bemoaning the fact that they had to pick him for the World Indoor Championships because the rules gave them no choice. But who made those rules - they did! And then the spokesman went on to make the perfectly valid point that, as Chambers is banned from competing in the Olympics, his selection for the Indoor Championships is effectively denying valuable international experience to some other athlete who would be available for the Olympics. But who imposed the Olympic ban? You've guessed it - they did. The situation, however unwelcome, is entirely one of their own making, and to try and shift the blame for it onto Chambers beggars belief.

And the winner is....

So the writers' strike in America has been settled just in time for the Oscars to go ahead. Oh, deep joy! (see post dated 27/2/07)

The Lazy Cook

Here's a dead quick and easy recipe with a touch of the exotic. So, with apologies to Bob, Bing and Dorothy, I give you -

The road to Morocco

You will need -
Tin of minced lamb (I use M & S 425g size)
Good handful of frozen garlic (see post dated 12th December)
About a dozen apricots
Handful of pine nuts
Handful of sultanas
Heaped teaspoon each of ground cumin, ground coriander and ground ginger
(or alternatively a good desert spoon of ground mixed spice)
Olive oil


Method -
If you're using dried apricots then soak them in hot water until they plump up. Cut the apricots up into small pieces - scissors are easiest.
Heat a small amount of oil in a heavy-based pan (I use a wok) and chuck in the garlic.
Once the garlic is sizzling, add the lamb, and when this is heated through, the spices , apricots, nuts and sultanas.
Simmer for ten minutes or so, and then serve with some cous cous (see post dated 27th December)

Hands up, or I'll play a Carpenters song!

There's a "it would be funny if it weren't so serious" story in the local press about a man being arrested in the street by armed police following a report by a member of the public that he was seen with a gun. The "gun" turned out to be his MP3 player! As he'd got his earphones in and didn't hear the armed officers calling on him to stop, the consequences could have been really bad, but thankfully it turned out all right and he was, naturally enough, released without charge. But what caught my eye was that, whilst he was in police custody, his fingerprints and DNA were taken - and the suspicion is that, although he has done nothing wrong, those will now remain on the database. Indeed, his arrest is now a matter of record, and presumably he will have to reveal this if he is ever asked - all seems wrong somehow.

Valentine's day.

A bit of a mysterious festival, this one. For starters, there's no general agreement as to who the Valentine was whom the day is meant to be commemorating. It seems that Valentine was a popular name for early Christian martyrs, and there are several candidates. But in any event, none of them has any connection with courtship and romance. Just where this association comes from is another mystery. Chaucer mentions it in a poem in the 14th century as being the day when birds traditionally choose their mates, so it would seem it was a well established concept back then. For me, Valentine's day is the first marker of the year - not the beginning of Spring by any means, but I see it as the end of the dark days of Winter, when the mornings are starting to get light at a respectable hour, and the threat of any prolonged spell of bad weather has more or less gone. So it is a day to be welcomed!

Time's up - put your pens down.

There's a suggestion that schools are using the rule which allows them to extend the exam time for those with problems like dyslexia, to give extra time to other pupils for whom it is not appropriate. For myself, I have never understood why there is any time limit placed on exams at all - after all, the purpose of the exercise is to find out how much you know - not how fast you can write. I have a problem where my hand tends to cramp up after a lot of writing, and I well remember that when I took my exams my main concern was not that I wouldn't be able to answer the questions, but rather that I wouldn't be able to get everything I wanted to say down on paper in the time allotted. It's not as though real life puts you under those sorts of time constraints, so what's the point?

Well done, Manchester.

Good match between Man Utd and Man City on Sunday, with impeccable behaviour by the fans. But what struck me most forcibly was - however sad the reason - how nice it was to see two teams playing in plain kit without the usual intrusive sponsors' logos on their shirts. Took me back to the good old days when football was a game, and not a money-making enterprise.

Doesn't really do what it says on the tin.

I read with great interest about a forthcoming scheme to provide every household with a direct telephone line to their local beat bobby - at last, I thought, the possibility of getting a fast response from the police when you need it. Until, that is, I read in the small print that you won't actually speak to anyone, but will simply be able to leave a message. Not quite the same thing is it?

Use the brain God gave you.

Whatever you think about the Archbishop of Canterbury's comments about Sharia law and the English legal system, there is no doubt that this was a serious attempt by a deep-thinking man to address a difficult problem, and deserved a considered and reasoned response. Unfortunately, our media don't do "considered and reasoned". The hysterical headlines and articles which featured in most of the papers - not to mention the downright puerile and offensive ("What a burkha") do, I'm afraid, reflect very badly on us as a nation. Disagree, by all means - I myself remain unconvinced - but at least do him the courtesy of doing so having tried to understand what he was really on about, and having given it some thought.

The Ladies of the Vale.

A passing reference in an article about English Heritage got me thinking about Lichfield Cathedral. I live only a few miles from Lichfield and going to "feed the ducks" in the Minster Pool was/is a regular treat for my children when they were little, and now for my grandchildren. The cathedral's main claim to fame is that it is the only medieval cathedral in the country built with three spires - there are a few around with three spires because one of the original four has fallen down, but Lichfield is the only one to be built with three. The main entrance - the West Front - is covered with over a hundred statues of monarchs and saints, and presents a very imposing (and strangely, I've always found a rather friendly) image as you walk towards it. I've only recently discovered that, although this may well have been how it looked in medieval times, virtually all the work on this front only dates back just over a hundred years. During the Civil War the cathedral was trashed, and it was only in Victorian times that it was restored to something like its original state. If you get the chance, it's well worth a visit.

I know but I can't tell.

You'll have gathered from last Wednesday's post that I'm not too keen on the idea of people's conversations, telephone calls , correspondance etc. being intercepted, but given that this goes on, then it does seem rather ridiculous that where it produces evidence of criminal activity, this cannot be introduced in court. Stranger still is that it appears the main opposition to any suggestion of relaxing this rule comes from the security services themselves, who apparently think that this may force them to reveal their methodology. So if it can't be used to help convict wrongdoers, what's the point in doing it?

Munich (2)

I feel I owe an apology to the media following my post last Monday. Most of the dailies have in fact marked the anniversary of the 1958 air disaster with major articles, and the BBC and ITV have covered it extensively on their news bulletins. The moral of this story is - make sure you have all the facts before shooting your mouth off! Apologies. As a bit of an addendum, there is a local effort being made to put up some sort of memorial to George Fellows who was from the West Midlands and was one of the journalists also killed in the crash, and this serves as a timely and needful reminder that the disaster claimed many lives other than those we always hear about.

Be like Dad - keep mum!

The present hoo-hah over the alleged bugging of a conversation between an MP and one of his constituents (who happened to be in jail) has brought to my somewhat horrified attention the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 which gives the Government - Home Secretary actually - swingeing powers to bug any of us at any time for any reason which she considers justifies doing so. Better watch out - Big Brother's about!

You can't make an omelette....

I'm a hoarder - I tend to keep stuff whenever I think it might come in useful one day. But then, every now and again, I have a clearout. By coincidence, just a week or so ago, I was weeding out my correspondance tray, which is where I tend to stick, among other things, unsolicited mail which I just might need to refer back to. And in there I found a mail shot from Egg which probably goes back 12 months or more, inviting me - indeed almost pleading with me - to apply for an Egg credit card. I didn't, but I was reminded of this when I saw the news that Egg are withdrawing their credit cards from some 160,000 customers following a "risk review". How things have changed in such a short time.

Munich

It is of course 50 years this Wednesday since the airplane crash which tore the heart out of the Busby Babes of Manchester United. An anniversary worth marking, you may think. But the way in which it's being done seems a little strange. The date itself as far as I can see is going pretty well unmarked - at least outside Manchester itself. My newspaper chose last week to run a series of articles about it, and the BBC's main tribute is tonight (ITV seem to be doing nothing, unless I've missed it). You can't help but feel that the anniversary has had to play second fiddle to the schedules rather than the other way round. And anyway in this neck of the woods, the date we tend to remember is the 21st of the month, that being when local boy Duncan Edwards finally succumbed to his injuries. When I worked in Dudley, I used to make an annual visit to his grave at the local cemetary, where I would invariably meet up with a few like-minded people. I only saw him play once, but remember how he completely dominated the pitch - there's little doubt that, had he lived, he would have been one of the greats.

A matter of some consequence.

One of the big questions of our time, according to correspondance in my paper, appears to be whether it is teaspoonfuls or teaspoonsful? Seems simple to me - assuming you are using, and then refilling the same spoon, then it is one teaspoonful, followed by another teaspoonful and so on. So it's teaspoonfuls. If you're using a succession of spoons on the other hand (but why would you?), then it could certainly be argued that it's teaspoonsful. Ah, these deep philosophical questions!

Credit where it's due.

I hold no particular brief for David Beckham, but given all the blood, sweat and tears he's expended for England over the years, and that the game against Switzerland next Wednesday is only a bloody friendly for heaven's sake, would it have been so dreadful if he had been included in the squad, and then brought on as a sub for the last 15 minutes or so, in order for him to win his 100th cap? I think it is the least we could have done for him. Perhaps Signor Capello hasn't yet got to grips with our English sense of fair play.

No such thing as bad publicity?

I was completely unaware of the Ryanair advertisement featuring a saucy schoolgirl promoting their low fares, and would have remained so were it not for a reported 13 people (a miniscule fraction of the population) who complained about it, resulting in the Advertising Standards Authority banning it, and Ryanair calling the decision "censorship" by a "bunch of unelected self-appointed dimwits". Now of course the world and his wife know about it. Stupidity on the part of the ASA (and the 13 people who complained) or really clever marketing by Ryanair?