R.I.P.

Gene Wilder - the immediate response of most people has been "Ah yes, Willy Wonka" but for me, the film of his that I most remember was "The Producers"- perhaps the most anarchic black comedy ever produced.  And close behind is the memory of him trying (so embarrassingly) to be a "hip" black man in "Silver Streak".  What a talent.

Making a bad situation worse??

Can't understand some of the press's attitude to Sir Philip Green.  Whatever he may or may not have done, and whatever you think of him, we are looking to him to do the decent thing, and use some of his considerable wealth to plug the hole in the BHS's pension scheme.  So do you think calling him "Sir Shifty", calling for him to be stripped of his knighthood and berating him and his wife for cruising in the Greek islands while the doors were finally closing on those department stores, makes it more or less likely that he will do so?  I hold no brief for him, and he may well be the "unacceptable face of capitalism", but frankly in view of the way he's being treated by some people, I wouldn't blame him if he said "sod the lot of you" and walked away.

Arise, Sir.......

Many calls for our successful Olympians to be given honours in the next list.  But why??  If you've won a medal in your particular event, isn't that your reward for all your hard work and dedication?  Why should you get an MBE as well - let alone a knighthood, as has been suggested for some.  Problem is - precedent.  It's been done for others in the past, so why not you?  Well - new PM, new post-Brexit world - perhaps now is a good time to break the cycle and think twice before scattering honours around like sweeties for those who have simply done their thing - albeit exceptionally well.

Out of touch?

Apparently Jeremy Corbyn does not consider himself "wealthy" despite getting a salary of £138,000 a year.  Well, all I can say is that I consider that level of income represents wealth, and I would imagine that most of you do too.  Bit worrying when this "man of the people"seems to have no understanding of the sort of lives the people he claims to represent lead. 

Explanation.

I have been accused of hypocrisy- or more precisely, double standards - for opposing the ban on the burkini (see 19th August) whilst at the same time opposing the wearing of the burqa (see 9/10/06).  But if you look back at that earlier post you will see - I hope - that what I didn't like about the burqa was not the garment itself (though I find it completely unattractive) but the fact that it conceals the face, which as I explained at the time, I associate with sinister motives.  My feelings are still the same.

Are you being reserved?

The BBC apparently are to do a one-off remake of "Are you being served" and other of their classic sitcoms of yesteryear.  Why??  It's not as though the originals have disappeared into a black hole.  They're still out there and available on the nostalgia channels.  So why??  Is this an acceptance that current sitcoms are rubbish and that present-day writers are bereft of ideas?  This remake will have to be very, very good if it is not to pale in comparison with the originals.

So what?

I suppose you've seen this "alternative" medal table for the Olympics, where all the countries in the EU (including us) have been lumped together to show that the EU got more medals than anybody else and therefore "won" the Games at Rio.  Don't know if it was meant to be taken seriously, but of course it completely ignores the fact that there are limits on how many athletes a "country" can enter into an event - and indeed on how many events a single athlete can compete in.  So it's interesting, but worthless.

Is the system broken?

As the voting starts, what will happen if Jeremy Corbyn wins again?  It's difficult to see how those MPs who voted for a motion of no confidence in him as their leader can stay under those circumstances.  So what do they do?  Walk away?  Set up a new party (shade of the SDP)?  Hunker down and continue the fight?  Whatever happens, it is difficult to see any future for the party as a serious opposition, and that's worrying.  Our parliamentary system requires a strong opposition to hold the Government to account, and at present we haven't got that, and signs are that we're not going to get it any time soon.

Rio Olympics

Didn't we do well? We did, didn't we??  Depends on how you look at it, and what your priorities are.  When you learn that each medal has "cost" us, as a country, some £4m, you may wonder whether that money could have been better spent elsewhere.  Indeed, you may feel, as I do, somewhat depressed that how well you do depends almost entirely on how much you are prepared to spend - just like football.  Don't think de Coubertain would be impressed.

The Lazy Cook

This is so simple, quick and easy it's almost criminal.   Most supermarkets do packets of pulled meat - pork or chicken mainly.  They also do fajita wraps.  So - combine,  My favourite is to fill a wrap with pulled pork. some chopped up cos lettuce. some grated cheese and some sour cream and chive dip,  I could eat this all night!

R.I.P.

Brian Rix - King of farce.  Thanks for all the laughs, man.

Oh, the irony...!

The President of an American Christian organisation which insists that natural disasters are God's punishment for homosexuals has had his house destroyed by a massive flood.

Thou shalt not...

Why ban the burkini?  It's an all-in-one swimming garment which covers everything except the face, hands and feet, and thus allows Muslim women to swim without compromising their religious beliefs.  And what's wrong with that?  The Mayor of Cannes - where they are banned - says that they are a symbol of Islamic extremism.  Well, you see what you want to see, but from my point of view all it means is that those who are not prepared to expose their bodies won't be able to swim.  In other words it's all about exclusion, at a time when surely we should be seeking to be inclusive?  And didn't Victorian women used to dress very similarly when they went swimming?

And the answer is....

Nine years ago I posted about the decline in the bee population and suggested that this could have serious repercussions for food production.  Well now it seems that science has established that the main cause is the use of a class of pesticide called neonicotinoids which are used to protect oilseed rape plants from a certain predatory beetle.  But of course, oilseed rape is an important crop and the National Farmers Union insist that neonicotinoids - or something similar - must be employed to ensure a good harvest, and that a small decline in bee population is a price worth paying.  Watch this space.

Ma-a-a-mmy.....

Do you remember The Black and White Minstrel Show on TV?  If so, were you offended by it?  Would you be offended by it if it were broadcast again today?  I ask because Eastbourne has put on a pictorial display of the history of the town and been forced to withdraw a picture of an old end-of-the-pier show because it depicts "Uncle Ben's Eastbourne Minstrels" and someone has complained.  Another attempt to air-brush history by pretending that something which happened, didn't.  I can never see the sense.  Feel proud of your past, or feel embarrassed or ashamed of it, but please, don't try to deny it happened.  Interestingly, The Black and White Minstrel Show was enormously popular, but when the BBC tried putting the same show on with the same artists, but without the blackface (it was called Music, music music) it failed miserably, so make what you like of that.

Plus ça change....

Back in 2009 I blogged about a South African girl who had won the 800m race at the World Championships of that year.  She certainly didn't look very feminine and questions were being asked as to whether she was in fact female.  Clearly, as I commented at the time, her external physicality must be female, but further tests over the years since have shown that her athletic prowess - and her masculine appearance - are down to her level of testosterone (which is essentially the male hormone) which is some three times higher than in the average woman.  So, here we are seven years later, and the question still is - should she be allowed to compete as a woman?  The problem is that it's not her fault that her testosterone level is so high, but if any other competitor were to artificially raise their testosterone level to match hers, they would immediately be banned under the doping regulations.  It has been suggested that she should take medication to reduce her testosterone level but apparently although this does have the effect of slowing her down, it also has psychological side effects.  So - what to do?  Well, here's an idea - allow her to compete but handicap her.  It must be possible (although bound to be contentious) to calculate what advantage in terms of time she gets over 800 metres and this should be added to whatever time she records.

...maketh man.

I know I've been down this line before, but what on earth happened to good manners?  We seem to have got into a situation now where peoples "rights" override any responsibility they have to behave properly and responsibly.  What's brought this on?  A gay male couple were seen holding hands in Sainsburys.  A member of the public took exception to this and complained to a security guard who then "ejected" them from the shop.  This prompted gay couples of both sexes to descend on the shop and carry out what was described as a "mass kissathon".  At least, that is how it has been reported - in reality it may not have been so straightforward.  But as I see it, this is not a matter of right or wrong - it's a matter of behaviour.  The couple maybe should have thought twice about holding hands in public.  The member of the public who complained should maybe have kept their thoughts to themselves.  The security guard should maybe have just had a quiet word and left it at that.  It's always worth thinking about the possible consequences of what you intend to do - and then maybe not doing it.  Like I say - manners.

Do you fly here often, Chuck?

You need permission to travel to the United States.  Subject to certain conditions, if you only plan on staying a short time for business or pleasure purposes, you will need what is known as an ESTA visa, which is normally obtainable with minimum fuss.  'Cellists often prefer to book a separate seat for their instrument, rather than have it carried in the hold.  But a combination of these two things caused problems for a female 'cellist seeking to travel from Zurich to Baltimore to play in a concert there.  The problem arose as a result of a classic "computer says no" syndrome.  In order to book a seat for the 'cello, the booking computer required a name.  So the seat was booked in the name of Chuck Cello.  But now the American computer took over, and insisted that "Chuck Cello" (who as far as it knew was a person) would not be allowed to board the flight as it didn't have an ESTA visa.  The moral of this story is - never trust a computer!

Beep....

Have you got a pet cat?  Have you had it microchipped?  You may think that if it goes missing and somebody finds it, you will be reunited with it.  Well. not necessarily it seems.  Apparently, if whoever found it does not want their identity revealed, data protection regulations mean that you cannot be told where it is or who has it.  So, can you involve the Police?  Well, you can certainly report the facts to them, but the question is whether any offence has been committed.  If the cat was taken, then that would be theft, but if it simply wandered off and eventually found its way to whoever now has it, it's hard to see what wrong has been done.  I suppose the question is - if you innocently come into possession of something, and later learn that it belongs to someone else, are you under any legal obligation to return it to its rightful owner?  Answers. as they say, on a postcard.

Boom!

Funny how sometimes you don't know about history which is on you own doorstep.  Not that far from where I live is the village of Hanbury.  Nice village with a nice pub - at least it used to be so.  Back in the days when you could still go out for a drive in the country and finish up at a pub for a leisurely drink before wending your way home, this was a favourite destination.  But what I never realised until recently was that close by is the remains of RAF Fauld, where the country's biggest ever explosion happened in November 1944.  Underground chambers and corridors were used to store bombs and on 27th November - apparently as a result of a spark caused by someone using a chisel, the whole lot went up.  At least 70 people died - probably more and it remains one of the biggest non-nuclear explosions ever recorded.  The huge crater has now been reclaimed by nature, but the area is still forbidden to walkers - there is still plenty of unexploded ordnance down there. 

English as she is spoke.

You may remember the joke about the brute who "raped Thrace thrice" - but did you realise that thrice is the end of the line?  Once, twice, thrice - and that's it.  There is no single word for four times, five times and so on.  Why not?  Who knows.  Perhaps the question is more - why do we have special words for one time, two times and three times.  Other languages tend not to.  French goes une fois, deux fois, trois fois and so on.  German has einmal, zweimal, dreimal etc.  So it's English which, as is so often the case, is unusual.

Who??

Do you know who the Duke of Rothesay is?  Probably not, I would guess.  Well, it's Prince Charles.  His title as Prince of Wales only applies in England and Wales.  In Scotland, his official title is the Duke of Rothesay.  So there!

There are 205 other countries you know.

It's early days, but I am rather disappointed by the BBC's breakfast coverage of the Olympics - obviously headlining our medals or near misses, but otherwise very much a matter of "if it didn't involve a Brit, it didn't happen".

Oh boy!

Anybody else see the irony in the fact that America's first gold medal was for shooting?

Hello, spotty!

I'm sure most of you will have seen the pictures of the little boy smothered in chickenpox spots.  There is no vaccine against chickenpox here in the UK although such a vaccine does exist and is available in the US and Australia.  So why not here?  Well the problem is that chickenpox is an unpleasant, but generally not serious illness in children, but if you catch it as an adult, it can be much more serious, so the general consensus is that it is better to have it as a child.  Indeed, I don't know if it is still the case, but back when I was a kid, if any local child came down with chickenpox, other parents would send their children to go and play with them, in the hope that they would catch it too.

What a mess!

So Dame Lowell Goddard has thrown in the towel as head of the child sex abuse inquiry, and she is the third person to have done so.  Think the problem is that there are vested interests here who are looking for a specific outcome, and are hell-bound on stacking the odds in their favour.  Spokesman for the "survivors" was on TV saying that they needed the inquiry headed by someone who could "take on the establishment" - which in my book is code for  "will come up with the result we want".  Who's next for the poisoned chalice?

Oh, no it isn't!

It's the 950th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings and as part of the commemorations children are being asked to contribute ideas for an up-to-date version of the Bayeux Tapestry.  Well there's one thing you need to know about the Bayeux Tapestry - it's not a tapestry, it's an embroidery!  The distinction is that in a tapestry, the images are woven in as part of the cloth, whereas with an embroidery, they are stitched on over the top.  Furthermore, the Battle of Hastings was not fought at Hastings at all, but at a site about 7 miles away, now called Battle.  And did you know that the two sides had a break for lunch?

The five rings.

Speaking of the Olympics, I can't get at all excited about the current Games, which start tomorrow.  I had a lot to say about the Games four years ago, when London hosted them, and nothing much seems to have changed.  And this time we have the additional complication of the Russians - many of whom will not be there.  Of course, we've had boycotts before - America in 1980, and the USSR in 1984, but this is the first time to my knowledge that a major country's athletes have been excluded by the Olympic authorities.  Was it the right thing to do?  Should they have gone further?  I'm not sure, but certainly as far as I am concerned it's taken any gloss there might have been off the occasion.

Jingle bells

So Christmas has come to Selfridges - they opened the 4th floor of their London store as a "Winter Wonderland" Christmas Shop last Monday, August 1st.  This hasn't gone down too well with some people who accuse them of taking the magic out of Christmas itself, and being interested purely in maximising their own profit.  Selfridges replied by saying they were simply responding to demand - particularly from visitors from overseas.  Actually I don't think this is a record - I remember posting back in 2012 about Harrods opening their Christmas department on the same day as the opening of the London Olympics, and that was July 27th!

Ambiguity?

Newspaper headline over the weekend - Nine people rescued after getting stuck in a lift with Donald Trump.  Not clear whether they were being rescued from getting stuck in a lift - or getting stuck with Donald Trump!

Not what it says on the tin.

I've spoken before about things that "everybody knows" which apparently everybody doesn't know.  Well, here's another one - when you go to the chippy and they say "salt and vinegar?" and you say "yes please", what you get is almost certainly not vinegar.  Whether it ever was, I don't know, but since about the middle of the last century, it's probably been something called "non-brewed condiment".  Tastes like vinegar, but is actually a mixture of acetic acid. water and colouring.  Why? - because it's cheaper and quicker to produce than real vinegar.  Theoretically, you're not allowed to call it vinegar, or present it in a traditionally shaped vinegar bottle, but "salt and non-brewed condiment?" doesn't have the same ring, does it?