A mutton-headed what??

...mugwump, is how Boris Johnson described Jeremy Corbyn the other day.  Not an every-day word these days, although I remember it being common currency when I was at school back in the early 50s.  My recollection is that it meant someone who couldn't (or couldn't be bothered to) make up their mind about something and therefore sat on the fence with their mug hanging over one side, and their wump - which I always assumed was their backside - hanging over the other.  Whether this was the sense in which Boris meant it, I'm not sure but if you Google it, you will find that the word has its origins in a native American word meaning "great warrior" or something similar, and I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it in that sense.  So for the moment  it remains somewhat of a mystery.

How do you say it?

Difficult to find anything to blog about other then brexit and the forthcoming election, and God knows I've already had more than enough of both those subjects. So, big non-political story of the moment seems to be - how do you pronounce chorizo - the Spanish spicy sausage.  Back in the Middle Ages some Spanish king or other spoke with a lisp and so it became "the done thing" for everybody else to pronounce the "s" sounds as "th", and it remains so to this day.  However, the Spanish speakers in Latin America continued and continue to pronounce the "s" sound as "s".  So there are two correct answers to the question.  A Spaniard will pronounce it "choreetho" and a Latina American Spanish speaker as "choreesso". Both are acceptable. What you mustn't do under any circumstances is pronounce it "choritso"

Hello, old friend...

We haven't had a wheelie bin story for ages, so thanks to Bristol City Council - or more precisely Bristol Waste Company who handle the City's refuse collection - for this one.   A pensioner lives - and has done for 60 years - at the end of a private road, which is about 30ft away from the main road. During the 60 years he has lived there, he has had no problem with having his bins emptied -   and this goes way back before the days of the wheelie bin, when the bin man would come and find your bin, hoist it up in his back, take it out to the cart, empty it and return it to you.  I'm sure you can guess where this is going?  He has now received a letter from the Council saying that his bin will no longer be collected, and it's now up to him to drag it to the main road for collection.  Elfnsafety of course - the poor bin men might trip and hurt themselves.

Ha ha

Two cannibals were eating a clown.  One turned to the other and said "Does this taste funny to you?".

Well, is it or isn't it?

Tim Farron - leader of the LibDems - is a committed Christian.  As such he is continually being pressed on the question of whether he considers gay sex a sin. And here he's in a bind - his Christian beliefs conflict with his political nous.  He realises that a "wrong" answer could cost him and his party votes.  But assuming he takes the Bible as the word of God, the answer is clear - it is a sin.  So he's caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.  Of course it shouldn't matter - what he believes is a matter for him and his conscience.  Provided he has no intention - should the opportunity ever arise - of making (well, remaking actually) gay sex illegal, his beliefs on the subject are immaterial. Unfortunately, there are those who would seek to make political capital out of any pronouncement he makes on the subject. Religion and politics don't mix - religion is about certainties (at least for believers) - politics is about what's flavour of the month.

What - I've got to go to work??

So Corbyn would give us an extra four bank holidays if he wins the forthcoming election?  I assume that whoever thought that one up had a look at the calendar first. We already have a log-jam of public holidays in the late Spring/early Summer, and this would make things much worse.  Consider next year - 2018 -
1st January - New Year's Day
1st March - St David's Day
17th March - St Patrick's Day
30th March - Good Friday
2nd April - Easter Monday
23rd April - St George's Day
7th May - May Day Bank Holiday
28th May - Spring Bank Holiday
27th August - Summer Bank Holiday
30th November - St Andrew's Day
25th December - Christmas Day
26th December - Boxing Day
So, seven bank holidays in the three months of March, April and May?  What price productivity?

And the result is...

Will the PM regret calling this General Election?  You can see the reasoning - it's an appointment book thing.  The 4th May 2020 (the date specified for the next election by the Fixed Parliament Act) and the run-up thereto, might well have clashed with any post-Brexit shenanigans.  Better not to take the risk.  But if there's one thing the referendum here, and the Presidential election over the water have taught us - or should have - it is not to take "the will of the people" for granted.  People do the strangest things for the strangest reasons. It seems inconceivable that the Conservatives will not end up with a significantly increased majority - but you never know!

So here we are...

...back again.  Big news while I was away is of course the calling of a General Election on June 8th.  But, but, but... I thought we'd done away with this idea of the Prime Minister calling an election whenever it suited - more to the point whenever the figures were in her favour.  OK, she may have got the necessary parliamentary majority, but I can't help feeling that this whole business goes against the spirit of the Fixed Term Parliament Act - indeed has that Act any purpose any more?

On our way...

... to Torquay for our traditional Easter family holiday.  See you in a week.

J'acccuse...

Ivanka Trump is said to have been instrumental in her father's decision to launch cruise missiles against Syria last week.  Besides being his daughter, she is of course a member of his administration. Even so, you might think that that would be worthy of comment but no - what is it about Ivanka that is exercising people's minds?  Her eye colour!  Her eyes keep changing colour it seems.  Well, surely no great mystery there - coloured contact lenses, one assumes.  Nothing wrong with that?  Not unless you are the Daily Mail that is.  They somehow seem to think that this is in some way against the law! How else do you explain their headline "First daughter is ACCUSED (my emphasis) of using colored contacts...".  

Mrs Tiggy-Winkle

Hedgehogs are becoming an endangered species it seems, and nobody seems to know why.  But it's obvious isn't it?  They're not called hedgehogs for nothing - their preferred environment is hedgerows, and more and more hedgerows are being dug up and replaced by fences   It's that simple, isn't it? 

Arrgh - me poor back!

Research (and there's one of those "it means what it means" words) has revealed that driving over speed humps increases the pollution caused by cars - particularly diesels.  The government is therefore minded, apparently, to give local authorities the power to remove them, or replace them with "speed cushions" - which I assume are more gentle versions of the same idea.  I can't wait - speed bumps round where I live seem to be reproducing like rabbits, and they're the vicious sort which rattle your bones no matter how slowly you're going.  So here's hoping.

I'm the Head Teacher, and what I say, goes!

So The Supreme Court has sided with the government over the right (or rather, non-right) of parents to take their children on holiday during term time.  Can't say I'm surprised, although I hope there was no improper arm-twisting.  The crucial point at the earlier hearing turned on the meaning of "regular attendance" (see 17/5/15) which the High Court accepted was an objective test and in this particular instance would be met by an attendance record of 90% or more. The Supreme Court took a different view and said "regular attendance" meant whatever the school said it did - in other words it was for the school to make its own rules on the matter.  You know my views - I think far too much power is being given to schools and far too little consideration is being given to parental views and wishes.  But I accept I'm clearly out of step here...

How many??

I've no wish to trivialise what is a serious matter - but why FIFTY NINE cruise missiles?  Strange number!

Did he or didn't he?

We have a saying round here (and maybe in other places as well) "Put up or shut up". President Trump stated that on Tuesday last, President Assad of Syria launched a "chemical weapons attack" against "men, women and children" in the Syrian town of Khan Sheikhoun.  And this was put forward as justification for an American strike against the airfield where the planes involved were said to have taken off from.  So because President Trump said it, it must be true?  He offered no supporting evidence - but then, he has a track record of making unsupported statements.  Maybe he's right - maybe he isn't, but I am a little concerned at the way our politicians (for the most part) are queueing up to support him.  If there is evidence, then let's hear it, otherwise a healthy scepticism would seem to be in order.

Place your bets...

My silly Grand National system this year picks Ucello Conti.  A reasonable each-way punt, I think. Good luck everybody

Ha ha

Molecule 1 - I just lost an electron
Molecule 2 - Are you sure?
Molecule 1 - I'm positive

You just can't please some people...

In past years, Church leaders have taken exception to the commercialisation of Easter - and understandably so.  This year, the National Trust have renamed their traditional Easter Egg Trail as The Great British Egg Hunt,  This has produced howls of outrage at the dropping of the word "Easter" - mainly from (you've guessed it) Church leaders!

Not the same...

Comparisons are being drawn between Gibraltar and the Falklands - but there is no similarity.  The Falkland Islands are ours by discovery and colonisation, and so our rights will always be open to conflicting claims. Gibraltar was ceded to us in perpetuity by Spain under the Treaty of Utrecht in 1713 and therefore belongs to us - no question.

He, she and they.

Universities have traditionally been hotbeds of revolutionary ideas and long may it continue to be so, but an unfortunate side-effect is that it opens the door to nonsensical triviality.  Like the modern attack on language which is seen as "gendered".  So, it is suggested that you shouldn't use words like !mankind" or"manpower" for example, and one particular University has said that essays and dissertations which use "he" or "she" to describe people who could be of either sex (sorry! - gender) will be marked down as a result,  It is suggested that if you want to encompass both males and females you should use "they".  I think it's all a bit silly - how about you?

Fake news?

Well I scoured the papers yesterday, but, with one or two obvious exceptions, it was impossible to be certain what were April Fool stories and what were simply "well, would you credit it" stories.  Such is the effect of the current unease about the extent to which we can rely on what the media tells us being true.  I still have fond memories about the BBC's report on the "spaghetti harvest" back in the 50s - at least you knew where you stood back then.

Keep your eyes on the monkeys!

Well, it was on the cards - see post of 24/6/16 - and now it seems the cards have been dealt.  When we leave the EU, Gibraltar will leave with us and the remainder of the EU will, it seems, side with Spain in any dispute over sovereignty of the Rock. Not good news if you're a Gibraltarian.