Sliding....

It seems strange to be saying this, but I feel a little sorry for Wonga, who have had to call the administrators in,  They were pioneers in the field of short-term "pay day" loans, and like many other pioneers, they fell foul of various things they hadn't foreseen and others will now profit from their experiences while they go to the wall.

The Lazy Cook

And the answer to yesterday's question? Of course not - much too much like hard work! But I have put one on my shopping list!

Words

Flicking about the other day, I came across a recipe for Key Lime Pie and wondered "why Key Lime?".  So I looked it up and apparently key lime is simply a particularly flavoursome variety of lime which is indigenous to the Florida Keys.  And that started me on "Keys".  I must confess that I had always thought that "key" was probably an Americanisation of "quay", but apparently not so - the similarity in pronunciation is just coincidental.  The word derives from the Spanish cuyo meaning a small island.  So, shall I make a key lime pie?.... 

Not just me then.

Like many - if not most - of my generation, I was traumatised by the death of Bambi's mother in the Disney film, so I was fascinated to learn that in 2007 Time magazine produced an article on the Top 25 Horror Movies of all time.  And guess what's in at number 20 - Bambi!

The perfect storm?

Well - I've been waiting for it.  The cold Spring and hot dry Summer have combined to produce a bad harvest and we can look forward to higher food prices in the shops.  'Twas ever thus. At this time of year, farmers always come up with sob stories about the weather being too hot, too cold, too wet, too windy or too something else, but the punch line always is that there will be shortages of something or other and prices will rise.  Couldn't go wrong this year, could they?

Ha ha

Two factory workers were chatting.  One said "Watch me get the day off" and he climbs up and hangs upside down from the ceiling.  The boss walks in and asks him what he's doing.  "I'm a light bulb" replies the man.  "Oh, you poor soul" says the boss "you've obviously been working too hard.  Take the day off". He gets down and starts to leave and his co-worker follows him.  "And where do you think you're going?" asks the boss.  "I'm going home too" says the second man "I can't work in the dark".

Once upon a time...

Remember the theory about the film Grease? (see 5th June).  Well someone has come up with a similar take on the Snow White story.  It's generally accepted that the brothers Grimm did not invent the stories which bear their name, but rather wrote down stories which were already in circulation - stories which usually had some basis in fact.  The Snow White story is said to be based on the life of Margaretha von Waldeck, who was the daughter of a wealthy copper-miner who - as was common at the time - used child labour in his mines - hence the dwarves.  She was well liked, and when she died aged 21 just before she was due to be married stories about her began to circulate,  Prince Charming in this version of the story became the Angel of Death (notice he's always riding a white horse?  If you know your Bible you will know that Death rides a pale horse), and his kiss was the kiss of Death.  Think I prefer the Disney version.

If it ain't broke...

If I understand it - and I probably don't - the new GCSE grades (9 high down to 1) are equivalent to the old A* down to F, was it?  In which case, you have to ask - what's the point?  Why change things if nothing's really changed?

Beyond the pale...

...bu what is the pale?  Well a pale is a pointed stick, or stake (from the Latin palus) and from time immemorial societies have delineated their boundaries with fences, which are just pointed sticks stuck in the ground and linked together.  So long as you were inside the fence you came under the protection of the tribe, but once you ventured "beyond the pale" you were on your own.  Over time, the expression has come to mean going beyond the bounds of acceptable behaviour.

Well, stone me!

Say it isn't so - my darling wife was a putative criminal!  Whenever we went on holiday to the seaside - home or abroad - she would pick a stone from the beach and bring it home as a memento.  Never thought anything about it, but now it appears that - in this country at least - it's against the law to do so.  The relevant legislation is the Coastal Protection Act of 1949 and, as the name suggests, the purpose is to protect the coast from erosion.  Well, I won't tell if you don't!

What a jerk??

Jamie Oliver - British TV chef - has been accused of "cultural appropriation" for marketing something called Punchy Jerk Rice.  To the extent that I understand it, the charge is one of using (or rather misusing) a term associated with a particular culture to which you don't belong for commercial purposes.  Jerk, according to my dictionary, is a marinade used in Caribbean cooking, and the argument is that this rice dish of Jamie Oliver's does not contain the appropriate ingredients, and in any event, to quote many who have complained on social media, the only things you can jerk are chicken and pork, and  "there is no such thing as jerk rice".  Given the heat this has generated (no pun intended) the words "storm" and "teacup" spring to mind, but I leave it to you to decide.

What a mess

HMP Birmingham - back in my day it was Winson Green.  Always was a shit-hole.  Not surprised that G4S couldn't handle it.  Get the professionals in.  Clean the place up.  Reduce the number of inmates.  Establish some mutual respect.  It's not rocket-science.

Please come to us!

Changes this year to A-level testing means that a lot of students haven't got the grades they were expecting.  Which in turn means that Universities are facing a short-fall in students to whom they have offered places conditional upon them getting  grades which they now haven't got.  Universities of course get their money from the fees they charge their students, and this means that some Universities, rather than being over-subscribed and able to pick and choose as they have in past years. are now frantically trying to attract the number of students they need to balance the books.  Stories are circulating of prospective students being offered goodies like iPads or gym membership to try and persuade them to go to a particular Uni, rather than elsewhere.  It's suddenly become a buyer's market.

Between the Devil and the deep blue sea

Yesterday's post reminded of when I was in the RAF doing my National Service.  I was stationed in Germany and this was at the height of the Cold War.  I remember we had a lecture on the possibility of a nerve gas attack,  The consequences of such an attack were laid out in gruesome detail.  But it was OK, because if such an attack were really imminent, we would be issued with an antidote with which to inject ourselves.  The symptoms we should look out for were a bad headache, runny nose,  general fatigue and muscle weakness,  In other words, the same symptoms as a bad cold or 'flu,  If we experienced these, we should consider injecting ourselves with the antidote.  Problem?  The antidote was itself a poison, and if you got it wrong and it was just 'flu, the antidote would kill you!

Lesser of two evils?

I had a gas mask in the war - we all did.  I seem to remember that it was an offence to go out without it.  It was, of course, meant to keep us safe in the event of a gas attack.  What we didn't realise back then (thank goodness) was that the gas mask was probably far more dangerous to our health than the gas attack.  The filter in the mask was made, believe it it not, from blue asbestos and arsenic - both highly toxic substances.

R.I.P.

Aretha Franklin - the rather extreme, shout-y style of Southern gospel singing never really did anything for me, but if you were an aficionado then there's no doubt she was the dog's bollocks.  Certainly her passing is worthy of comment.

Decision time.

I think Ben Stokes is a lucky lad.  Whatever the law says, it is clear he got drunk and became involved in - perhaps even instigated - a public punch-up.  Certainly not the type I'd want living next door to me.  So, should he be welcomed back into the fold and play for England?  We've gone down this road before - to what extent does being chosen to play for your country - whatever the sport - carry with it an expectation that you are a person of a certain character?  The fact that I don't find him a particularly pleasant person doesn't alter the fact that he's a talented cricketer and on that basis alone, should be considered for inclusion in the team.  The ECB will have to consider whether he has brought the game into disrepute, and if so, what to do about it, but I'd have him in my team. whilst keeping a careful eye on him.

Different language

Have you seen the video of this motorway viaduct in Italy collapsing, and a voice in the background saying "Oh dear" over and over,  Seemed somewhat understated - until you realise that this is Italy, and he's not saying "Oh dear" he's saying "Oh Dio" - oh God!

Ha ha

 - Doctor, I keep forgetting things
 - And how long have you had this condition?
 - What condition?

Does the author have a say?

If you are adapting a book (or a series of books) for the screen - small or large - to what extent have you a duty to present your characters as they are described in the book(s)?  The latest screen portrayals of Hercule Poirot have him sporting a goatee beard.  Now those of us brought up on the David Suchet TV series - or who have read the books - know him as having a moustache, but otherwise clean-shaven.  And then there's the perennial - will the next James Bond be Idris Elba?  But he's black!  Ian Fleming describes his hero (or should that be anti-hero?) in some detail in the books, and he's clearly white.  Should it be allowed?  After all, they have given us M as a woman.  So, Poirot with a beard or a black James Bond - what do you think?  Are Agatha Christie and Ian Fleming resting peacefully in their graves, or spinning furiously?

Level up or level down?

So the Chancellor is minded to introduce a tax on online sellers to "level the playing field" between them and high street shops.  OK I see the logic, but how about us, the shoppers, the consumers?  I tend to use Amazon because I can get stuff there cheaper than from the High Street, but if, as a result of such a tax, Amazon have to increase their prices, this may please the shopkeepers, but how does it benefit me? If you want to level the playing field, then rather than penalise the online sellers with a tax, how about giving the high street sellers some financial relief through business rates or VAT or the like.  

My, how you've grown!

I never saw it, but I'm sure there was a film called something like "The man who went up a hill and came down a mountain".  In a case of life imitating Art a hill in Wales has been re-measured and now proudly qualifies as a mountain.

Pay rise - what pay rise?

Apparently some public servants who have been given a pay rise are finding out that, thanks to the way their pension contributions are calculated, they are ending up with less take-home pay than before!

In a puff of smoke?

So it's now over four years since Flight MH370 took off from Kuala Lumpur bound for Beijing and simply - disappeared.  The Malaysian government have released what they say is their final report on the matter, and which concludes that they have no idea what happened or why.  Of course, there are those who are not prepared to leave it at that.  The French police - there were four French on board - have said they are going to open their own investigation and others may follow their example.

Hello, my name's...

All credit to Costa Coffee who are going to set up dedicated tables for those who are willing to have a chat with their coffee.  To be known as "Chatter and natter" the idea is to provide somewhere for those looking for casual companionship to find it.  Good idea, I think - sort of going back to the origins of the coffee house,

Don't rely on the name!

The least punctual airline flying from UK airports has been named - and, don't laugh. it's called Whizz Air.

The Lazy Cook

The "Three P's" - pasta, pesto and parmesan.  Pasta of your choice - I find eating ribbon pasta is messy, so I prefer penne or orecchiette or similar.  Pesto - you could make it yourself, but this is lazy cooking, so get a jar from the supermarket.  Parmesan - block or ready-grated - your choice.  Cook and drain the pasta, add the pesto and serve with grated parmesan.  How easy is that?

Just saying...

Happy birthday, Thingy.  Keep 'em flying!

Phew, what a pong!

Suggestion we are going on to a three week schedule for waste bin pick-ups.  I live on my own, and will find that difficult, so Heaven help those with large, and particularly young families!

Well, they do wear aprons...

This gender re-identification business is in danger of getting silly.  The Freemasons are a society of very long standing which has always been open only to men.  They have now had to face the problem of men who identify as women, or vice versa.  And their solution?  Provided you were male when you joined you continue to be a member even though you now identify yourself as a woman. Equally a woman who now identifies as a man, can join.  Can't help feeling it's all a bit crazy.

Overshoot Day

Mean anything to you?  Probably not - and I had never heard of it until a couple of days ago.  It's the point in the year when what we have used of the earth's resources exceeds that which the earth is capable of producing in that year,  This year it was yesterday - August 1st - and the really bad news is that this date gets earlier every year.  It was first calculated in the mid 1980s, when the date was December 19th.  Scary, eh?

I yam wot I yam (Popeye)

This story comes from Canada, but is well worth telling.  A man bought a new car and asked for an insurance quite.  He was quoted some £2,600.  Just out of interest, he asked what the quote would have if he were a woman.  Answer £2,000. So - as you can do these days - he decided to officially identify as a woman.  Got a new birth certificate and everything, and saved himself some £600 a year.  It would be interesting to see what attitude the insurance company might take if he/she had an accident and put in a claim, but it's an interesting slant on this modern idea of gender re-identification.