Cheque's in the post??

Find it difficult to understand this Universal Credit business.  It seems that, of you are put on Universal Credit, this immediately stops any benefits you might already be getting, but it will then be six weeks before you get your first Universal Credit payment,  What are you supposed to do in the interim?  And therein lies the problem - it seems the Department of Work and Pensions have no plans for this - or, even worse, don't seem to think this is in any way their problem.   So you either have to use your savings - if you have any - or go into debt if you haven't.  And that to me make no sense.  I've not seen any pronouncement from the DWP about this other than that they are satisfied that "the vast majority of claimants...are comfortably managing their money".  Sounds more like a hope than a statement of fact to me, and in any case, what about the minority who aren't?

Ha ha

What did the American buffalo say to his child as he went off to school?
- Bison.

Continued...

Sorry if anybody was offended by yesterday's post - no rudeness or lèse-majesté was intended by referring to Prince Harry's girl-friend as Thingy,.  I was in a bit of a rush as I was typing, and just couldn't bring her name to mind.  Meghan Markle - doesn't exactly trip off the tongue, does it?  So I hope that's straightened everything out.

Naughty!

It seems that holding hands in public is "not done" in the Royal family.  Strange?  Prince Harry and Thingy did it and the picture made the front pages of just about all the newspapers - even stranger.  Comparisons are being drawn with Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson - oh, for Heaven's sake, come on!

Talking shop?

What exactly are Party Conferences for?  At present it's the Labour conference, but I'm sure the Conservative conference, whenever it is, will be much the same.  Talk about preaching to the converted!  Just a load of speeches saying how great we are, and how terrible the other lot are.  Nothing really positive comes out of them and it's unlikely that anybody's views are ever changed as a result, so, like I say, what are they for?

Über Alles?

So Transport for London has banned Uber from the Capital?  Whatever the rights or wrongs, I am irresistibly reminded of French workers in the 19th century who, worried that new automated machines would rob them of their jobs, took to throwing their wooden clogs (sabots) into the machines to wreck them - hence our word "sabotage".  The pressure for banning Uber has mainly come from the black cab drivers, who are equally worried that the Uber model will eventually mean the end of their livelihood.  They may well be right, but you can't stop progress, and the expression "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" springs to mind.

When in hole, stop digging?

So now it appears that Brexit no longer means Brexit, but Brexit deferred?  And deferred by how long?  The Prime Minister in her recent speech was carefully vague.  She talked of a "double lock" giving people the certainty that the period will be "time limited" and "will not go on for ever", but when it came to specifics, was prepared to do no more than suggest "about two years".  Which takes us to at least 2021. and who knows what the situation will be - and indeed who will be in power - by then.  Plenty of wiggle-room!

Blistering barnacles!!

Was Tintin gay - or even worse, a girl??  So claims a French philosopher in a sensational essay.  The author Hergé is of course long dead and therefore unavailable for comment, but it is said that he and his close friends were in on the joke and left many clues in the books which support the claim.  He was also responsible for the illustrations in the books, where certainly Tintin is often portrayed as somewhat androgynous.  Of course, you could ignore the whole business and simply enjoy the books on their undoubted merits.

Two for the price of one.

Sorry about yesterday - the kids and grandkids weren't around, so I'm afraid you got both barrels.  Apologies. To make it up to you, here's a joke -
My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60.  He's 82 now - and we haven't a clue where the hell he is!

Oh dear...

I'm depressed.  September is drawing to a close, the nights and mornings are getting darker, and the weather is misty and dull.  I've posted before about how my soul sinks at this time of year, and after what happened last year I am even more apprehensive about the winter to come.  Any positive vibes you could send my way would be appreciated.

Stack 'em high, sell 'em cheap

So the fastest-growing UK supermarket is Lidl.  All power to their elbow.  I've posted before about my admiration for them and for Aldi who provide no-frills shopping at much lower prices than the bigger stores.  As regards Lidl - and I'm sure I've mentioned this before - unfortunately my local store (about 10 minutes away) was for some unfathomable reason shut down some five years ago, and now I have an awkward half-hour journey to get to their nearest shop.  So I only go every now and again - sort of as a treat,

I'm innocent - but guilty!

We seem to have sort of lost the plot about this business of child grooming.  A 12-year-old girl was bombarded with requests from a paedophile to send him (we presume it was a him) nude pictures of herself.  Eventually she gave way and did so,  Her mother found out and informed the police.  So far, so nasty, but the mother has acted responsibly and hopefully the paedophile will eventually be found and brought to justice.  The girl is the victim here - yes?  Well, no, apparently.  The Protection of Children Act 1978 make it an offence to "take...show...or distribute" an indecent photograph of a child, which you would think was fair enough, but amazingly this applies even if the person taking, showing or distributing such a photograph is the child themselves,  So our 12-year-old girl has committed an offence, and potentially could end up with a criminal record.  The authorities have discretion as to whether or not to prosecute, but surely this cannot be right?  Is this just a case of bad drafting or of people not thinking things through - or am I not seeing the full picture?

Ha ha

My dog used to chase anybody on a bike.
Finally, it got so bad, I had to take its bike away.

One, two, three. four...

Is a conductor (orchestral) really necessary?  The question arises because an orchestral concert in Pisa, Italy was conducted entirely by a robot.  Or was it?  The robot "learned" its movements by following the movements of the orchestra's resident conductor, so just who was conducting?  Really all the robot was doing was following a program - a set series of instructions - and there's nothing remarkable about that.  The more interesting question, which well predates computers and robots, is does an orchestra really need a conductor at all?  After all, these are professional players who have rehearsed together and know the piece they are playing - does someone waving a stick at them really make any difference?  Smaller groups, like string quartets and such, manage without a conductor.  So why not full orchestras?  I don't know the answer, but to my mind, a conductor - and who it is - certainly does make a difference, although I'm not sure why.

Join the dots?

(1) The Government announces a pay rise for the police. (2) The Police Commissoner for West Mercia says that "the funding [for this] has to come from somewhere and there is a risk that [it] could potentially lead to reductions in officer and staff numbers".  Actions have consequences, or as my Gran used to say, and you must be getting pretty tired of me telling you, you can't have the penny and the bun.

Apocalypse now.

We haven't had an "end of the world is coming" story for some time, so it must be time for another one.  Heard of Nibiru?  No - neither had I but apparently it's a planet-sized object which will collide with, or pass very close to the earth at the end of this month and as a result, destroy all life on this planet.  An American businessman has set the date as September 23rd.  Mind you, I think you should know that this businessman's business is selling undeground bunkers!  Really think this must amount to a conflict of interest?

Compare and contrast

So Len McCluskey - leader of the Unite union - sees himself as on a par with Nelson Mandela and Gandhi, and like them (or his vision of them) he is prepared to break the law in pusuit of his goals.  Fair enough, I supppose, provided he, like tham, is prepared to accept the consequences of breaking the law, but I've a feeling that that is where any possible similarity will end.

Up the Wolves!

I'm sure you are aware that I am a devoted fan (and believe me, given all their ups and downs, you have to be devoted) of Wolverhampton Wanderers - my local team (or at least it was when I was at school).  So I have a concrete and logical reason for being a fan,  But apparently Mark Hamill (yes, Luke Skywalker from Star Wars) is now also a fan - but in his case by accident.  He apparently "liked" a tweet asking if he was a Wolves fan (thinking it referred to the animals) and was then inundated with supportive tweets from fans of the club.  So he now reckons he's a fan by default ("Never heard of them until two days ago...but they made me feel like family").  Mind you, we could do with all the help we can get.  May The Force be with us!!

Where do you fit in?

Somebody used the word "Millennials" on TV the other day to describe the type of consumer they were trying to reach, and I thought - I really must find out exactly what that word means.  Well, I fell at the first hurdle, because there is nothing "exact" about it.  Apparently sociologists have for some time been dividing us up into "generations" according to when we were born, and then looking for common characteristics - and making them up if they couldn't find any!  So I apparently belong to the Silent Generation - those born sort of mid-1920s to mid -1940s.  We were followed by the Baby Boomers (mid-40s to mid-60s) and they in turn by the rather sinisterly named Generation X (mid-60s to early 80s).  Which brings us to the Millennials (early 80s to late 90s) and the current lot, born after that are Generation Z.  Not sure I feel any the wiser for all that though.

A Cappella

So what exactly does that mean?  Well, it refers to unaccompanied singing - specifically but not exclusively - choral singing.  But why a cappella?  Well, big churches, Catholic and Anglican, were constructed in the same way - entrance at the west end, straight aisle from the door to the altar at the east end.  And then off to the sides of the aisle would be smaller side-chapels, designed for private prayer, and often dedicated to some particular saint.  These side-chapels would have their own altars and seating - they would in fact be miniatures of the church itself, with one important difference.  No organ - so if you wanted music in these little chapels, it had to be unaccompanied singing,  The Latin word for chapel is cappella and so unaccompanied singing became known as singing "in the style of a chapel" - or a cappella.

Blast from the past

Interesting to see that the case of Steven Ward has raised its head again (see 4/12/13).  A nephew of his has asked the Criminal Cases Review Comission, who have the power to refer "iffy" convictions to the Court Of Appeal, to look into it.  They have said they will not make a referral in this case basically because of the time which has elapsed, the fact that Ward is dead, and that important documents (not least the transcript of the judge's summing up) cannot be found.  However they did say that, if Ward had still been alive, they "may well have been minded" to make such a referral. The trial has been described as "an appalling manipulation of justice by police, politicians and judges caught up in a moral panic".  Perhaps the final word should rest with the Commission themselves  who said that the case should perhaps e considered as simply "a case of its time".

Too little, too late?

I have to add my voice to those criticising the Government's efforts regarding the aid being offered to islands for which we have responsibility in the Caribbean and which have suffered damage as a result of Hurricane Irma.  I feel much as I felt back in 2013 about a typhoon which devastated part of the Philippines (see 14/11/13).  We knew this was coming well in advance and surely we should have been offering assistance in preparing for it, rather than simply letting it happen and then offering help to clear up the mess? 

I'll huff and I'll puff...

The news is full of  Hurricane Irma - but what is there to say?  It's safely out of the way as far as we are concerned and although the wind speeds are eye-watering by our standards, we can just sit on the side-lines and watch it happen.  What I think comes through to me most strongly is the even-handedness of the whole thing.  The super-rich have been hit as badly as the poor.  And I somehow feel there's a moral there somewhere.  

Can we get back to teaching?

We've spoken before about these topics which come around every year, and as it's back-to-school time we have the usual stories of children falling foul of their school's uniform policy, but this year the situation is complicated by the current obsession with gender-fluidity.  Never mind whether a student's skirt-length is too short - what about if that student is a boy?  One school has decided that the way to deal with this is to ban skirts and require all pupils to wear trousers - but then, isn't that sexist?  Why trousers - why not make them all wear skirts?  What a mess!

Penny on the bottle.

Scotland is discussing whether to bring this old idea back to life it seems.  So you would pay more for your can or bottle of drink, but would then get this extra back when you returned your empty can or bottle to the shop, or other approved collection point.  Commonplace in my childhood, and worked well.  The driving force behind this idea is not so much to encourage recycling, but to discourage people from littering the countryside.  All very admirable.but critics point to the possible negative effect on sales and also the scope for what they describe as "fraud".  Don't quite see it as fraud myself, but what they're on about is, at the one end people rummaging through other people's bins in search of discarded cans or bottles, and at the other end people bringing car- or lorry-loads of cans or bottles over the border from England to collect the returns.  Still just a proposal at present, so watch this space.

Takes ones mind off Brexit!

So Wills and Kate are expecting baby number 3?  Given Kate's past experience with an extreme form of morning sickness which has needed medical intervention, the words "glutton" and "punishment" spring to mind!  Best wishes to them both (well, all three), obviously.

Pragmatism?

So what do we do about Kim Jong-un?  Sanctions don't seem to have had any effect, Trump's bluster doesn't seem to have had any effect, international condemnation doesn't seem to have had any effect, so what now?  Can I suggest that I think the question which should be being asked is - what does he want?  Surely he doesn't really want to go to war with America, either directly or indirectly - what on earth would there be in it for him, other than the destruction of his country and probably himself?  So what's he really after?  And I think what he really, really wants (Spice Girls) is respect, recognition, to be accepted as a member of the nuclear club, to be one of the "big boys".  And if that means appearing to accept that he's "won" and give him his moment of glory, it would seem to me to be a small price to pay.

Three wise monkeys

The majority of crimes are committed by young males.  This is a statistical fact.  So is that first sentence in any way sexist or ageist?  If you see a young male walking down the street do you automatically think "he's probably a criminal?". Why am I asking this?  Because a Labour MP has been sacked for claiming that Britain has a "problem" with British Pakistani men exploiting young white girls.  She points to recent cases in Rotherham, Rochdale, Newcastle and Oxford of gangs of men coming before the courts charged with grooming and sexually abusing girls.  The majority of the men involved were of Pakistani heritage, and the majority of the girls were young white teenagers. So why was she sacked (or forced to resign which is pretty much the same thing)?  Because, according to the Labour hierarchy, what she said amounted to "demonising a community" - in other words labelling all Pakistani men as paedophiles. But was it?  I'm sure there are those who think that way, but was that the intention? Are we so afraid of being seen as racist that we cannot report what is staring us in the face?

Them and us.

I wonder what the survivors of the Grenfell Tower fire feel about the amounts of money which have been flying around during the football transfer window.  How the other half live, eh?

Music Man

Just a personal thing - I'm a dedicated Simpsons fan, and much of its appeal to me comes from it's music. So I was shocked and saddened to hear that Alf Clausen, who has provided the music for the show for the last 27 years has been told that his services will no longer be required.  The press have all used the word "fired" but I'm not sure it's that straightforward.  It's been suggested that it is less to do with Clausen himself, and more to do with the costs involved in his using a full 35-piece orchestra. Whatever the reason, it's a shame.