What's in a word?

Targets  - very much in the news at present, particularly as regards Amber Rudd and immigration.  I've mentioned several times before that I am an ex-Civil Servant and know all about targets.  The problem is that it's one of those words that means different things to different people - and even to the same people at different times.  In other words, it means whatever you want it to mean - which is why politicians find it so useful.  I remember one of my bosses trying to get the idea across to us - "If you don't know where you are going" he said "how can you ever know when you've got there?".  And that's as good an argument for having targets as I have ever heard.  So where's the problem?  Such a target as he was talking about is an aim, an objective, something to measure your progress against, and as such it rarely causes problems.  On the other hand, if you are told that you are expected to produce x widgets a day, and if you don't, you will be considered a failure, that's a whole different matter.  Can you see the distinction?  Because it's not that easy.  I always think the acid test is - what's the opposite of success?  If it's failure, then that's the bad type of target, whereas if it's re-assess and keep going, that's the good type.

You what?!?

Incel - what the heck is that then?  I'd never come across it before the recent incident in Vancouver when the driver of a van mounted the pavement and ran several pedestrians down.  Searching for a motive, the authorities came across a post on Facebook by the supposed driver of the van referring to "the incel rebellion".  It apparently is short for involuntarily celibate, and refers to men who are still virgins, though not through choice.  Not quite sure what their beef is - they seem to have a hatred of those who do have a sex life, who they refer to as "Chads and Stacys", and they seem to align themselves politically with the "alt-right" although I'm blowed. if I can see the connection.  Perhaps all will become clear in due course

We're going to Wem-ber-ley, que sera, sera.

I think all this fuss over Wembley Stadium is more visceral than logical.  Provided we get assurances that it will be made available for games traditionally played there does it really matter who owns it?  For anybody not aware, an American-Pakistani billionaire has offered to buy the stadium for something like £800m.  Part of this man's sporting portfolio is the American football team the Jacksonville Jaguars and it's being suggested that part of his plan is to make Wembley the team's home ground, which would have the effect of making London part of the NFL.  Should we care?  Like I say, heart says one thing, head says another.

Note the date.

Apparently Trump is to visit Britain on Friday 13th July.  Somehow seems very appropriate.

Ha ha

It's the time of the French Revolution, and a priest, a prostitute and an engineer are to be executed by guillotine.  They ask the priest whether he wants to be face up or face down when he meets his fate.  The priest says that he would like to be face up so that he will be facing heaven when he dies.  They raise the blade of the guillotine, released it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from the priest's neck.  They take this as divine intervention and release the priest.  It's now the prostitute's turn, and she also opts to be face up, hoping that she will be as fortunate as the priest.  The blade comes speeding down and suddenly stops inches from her neck.  So they release her as well.  The engineer, not surprisingly, also decides to be face up.  So they raise the blade, and suddenly the engineer says, "Hey, I see what the problem is!"

Plan B?

If, as is being suggested, Arsène Wenger "jumped before he was pushed", you would assume that Arsenal had his replacement lined up.  But it would appear not.  Strange!

Don't call us...

Still here then?  Another no-show for planet Nibiru.  This is getting boring!

Confused - you will be...

If you replace a grading system which goes from A (highest) to E with one that goes from 1 to 9 it should come as no surprise if some people assume that 1 is highest and 9 lowest.  And yet this is what has happened with GCSE grades.  In fact grade 9 is the highest and grade 1 lowest,   Many employers, and even some Universities apparently fail to understand this.  The expression "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" springs to mind.

P - K4

Another Home Office/Immigration story.  A family from India face being sent back there in a few months time when the father's visa expires.  They are appealing but on the rather unusual ground that their son is a "national asset".  He is 9 years old, and a chess prodigy.  He is seen as a potential world champion, and it appears that, if his parents are granted indefinite leave to remain, he could compete for Britain.  How this squares with the story I told the other day about the girl from Bradford, I do not know, and in any case, the name that immediately popped into my head when I read about this kid was Zola Budd - and that didn't turn out too well.  Presumably, if he was a normal 9-year-old with no special talent, there would be no story.

End of an era.

To be fair, I think that Arsène Wenger should have really gone four or five seasons ago, but I hope Arsenal's fans - and indeed football fans everywhere - will give him the full credit he deserves for producing some of the most attractive football to ever have graced the English scene.  He is going to be a tremendously hard act to follow.

Not me Miss, please Miss.

You expect the Opposition to take every opportunity to criticise or embarrass the Government, but I can't understand why they should be calling for the resignation of Amber Rudd, the Home Secretary over the Windrush "scandal".  It all happened well before her time in office, so why should she carry the can?  She has apologised on behalf of her Department and done what she can to - if not exactly put matters right - at least create a mechanism for helping those affected.

Why not?

Unless the NHS is being asked to foot the bill, I cannot see the harm in allowing the parents of little Alfie Evans to take him to Italy for treatment as they wish to do.  It seems very unlikely that the eventual outcome will be any different, but at least they will have the assurance of knowing that they did all they could.

Shame heaped on shame!

Since posting yesterday, it has come to light that many of the children of those who came here from the Caribbean (at our request, by the way) in the immediate post-war years - most famously on the Empire Windrush - are finding that officially they have no right to be here, and are being seriously threatened with deportation.  For heaven's sake, Home Office, get your collective fingers out and sort this out ASAP!!

Red tape....

So, you were born in Bradford, you are now 24 and have lived in the UK all your life.  Your parents have both lived here since you were born.  So you're British - OK?  Well, maybe not.  The British Nationality Act of 1981 states that, to be British, you must (a) be born here and (b) one of your parents must either be British or settled in the UK.  And it's these last four words that may cause a problem.  Your parents were both living here when you were born, but they were here on temporary visas to study.  They later became settled here, but at the time you were born, were only here temporarily.  So you're not British - but it gets worse.  You haven't got your parents' nationality either.  You are in fact stateless.  And to put the icing on the cake you are told you can apply for British citizenship - but it will cast you £1,243!  As an ex-Civil Servant, I feel ashamed,

UTW

Having blogged in the past about my personal team - Wolverhampton Wanderers - I suppose I should record that they have been promoted to the Premier League next season.  I've seen very little of them this season so I don't really know how good they have been.  I hope they learn from the past and realise that simply going up with the same team that won promotion will probably not be good enough and that they need to spend money and bring in new players.  I wish them well.  UTW - Up the Wolves.

Syria - again!!

Here we go again - should we bomb Syria?  Well in fact it's all water under the bridge, because we already have.  But should we have done?  There is little doubt that Assad is a nasty piece of work, but he is - at least nominally - the democratically elected president of his country, so should we be siding with the rebel forces seeking to overthrow him?  Did he carry out a gas attack on a rebel area the other day?  Maybe, or was it a put-up job?  The use of chemical weapons is illegal under international law, and this is our justification for attacking him.  I haven't seen any concrete proof that it was him - for all that I am being assured that such proof exists.  The saga continues...

Grand National

My silly system comes up with Total Recall  Good luck everyone.

Now, what are we watching?

Anybody else feel that The Commonwealth Games has been spoiled for the spectator by mixing up events for disabled competitors with the ordinary events.  Perhaps it's a matter of better information but, for example, I was watching a 100m race where the commentators were getting really excited about what I saw as a somewhat mundane race run in a rather ordinary time.  It was some time before I realised that this was a race for para-athletes and had to be judged on that basis.  Better if the two competitions are kept separate in my opinion.

It's down to you.

"Facebook stole our secrets..." says a headline in the paper.  You can't steal what you were given.  If Facebook has information about you, it's because you gave it that information.  Nobody twisted your arm.  If you don't want your personal information bandied about, then don't give it - it's that simple.

No brainer?

A BBC journalist in London has been prosecuted for doing 36 mph in a 30 zone, and she has questioned whether the police would be better concerning themselves with the current serious outbreak of teenage violence in the city than pursuing people like her, where the law has been broken, but no harm has been done.  I think you can certainly make a distinction between offences which cause injury, and offences which simply have the potential to cause injury, and where, as now, the police need to prioritise how they utilise their resources, clearly the first category should take precedence.

I like coffee...

Why is coffee called "Joe"?  Well, it is over there, anyway.  And it seems it dates back to the First World War when the secretary of the US navy was one Josephus Daniels.  He was a very moral man who saw it as his duty to stamp out prostitution and the consumption of alcohol on naval property.  This resulted in an increased consumption of coffee, with the result that, disparagingly at first, it was referred to as "a cup of Joe".

Hic!

In the propaganda spat going on between us and Russia at the present, Russia has maintained that the Queen is a "heavy drinker" who consumes "up to five beverages a day".  The Prime Minister is also, it is claimed  "a frequent brandy drinker".  Oh, I do hope so!!

How much??!!

Every now and again as I'm flicking around the TV I come across Judge Judy - this as an American programme where a retired judge adjudicates on small claims matters.  As someone who spent his working life in the civil courts, I find this interesting, even though I have to make allowances for the differences in procedure, and Judy Sheindlin. the judge, is an insightful character who is well worth listening to.  But I was astounded to learn that she is paid 47 million dollars a year for doing this.  

Who'd have though it?

The Co-op - grocery shops, funeral parlours, insurance - but schools??  I was surprised to find that they were involved in funding academies and indeed hope to expand this aspect of their business.  How far they have come from the old days when you had a customer number which you had to give whenever you bought anything, and then you had a book which you presented for updating every now and again which recorded your "divi".  The idea was that the company profits went to the members - i.e. the shoppers.  Revolutionary idea for the times.

A policeman's lot...

The Derbyshire constabulary have a male voice choir.  Or maybe, that should be "had" because the Chief Constable has said they can no longer use the name of the constabulary unless they allow women to join.  Now anybody who knows anything about choral singing knows that it's not that easy.  Opening the choir to female voices would require a complete rebalancing of their sound and reconsideration of their presentation and  repertoire.  So the choirmaster has reluctantly decided to sever his association with the constabulary and rename the choir as the Derbyshire Community Male Voice Choir.

We do it our way...

Interesting when you find someone swimming against the tide.  Prague are to ban bicycles from its pedestrianised historic centre whilst allowing access to cars with permits.  The authorities accept that this is a radically different approach from that of other cities but maintain that "in a pedestrian zone, the advantage should be for pedestrians, not cyclists".

Lark hit by cannon fire?

Well, praise be - Classic FM's Hall Of Fame this year has been headed by Tchaikovsky's "1812" overture,  For the past few years Vaughan Williams's "The Lark Ascending" has taken top spot.  And as I have commented in the past, that's a piece which does nothing for me, and does not improve in any way by repetition.  So hooray for something new - even though it's definitely not Tchaikovsky's best, and even he was not that keen on it, describing it as "very loud" and "without artistic merit".  But at least it stirs the blood, unlike that damned lark!

Splash!

So the Chinese space-station came down safely in the Pacific with no loss of life.  I would feel happier about this if it wasn't for the fact that no-one was able to determine with any accuracy just where it was going to impact.  It's all very well to assure us that the world's surface is over 70% water and so statistically it's better than 2-1 on that anything dropping from space will land in water, but I would have thought (hoped?) that modern technology could have come up with a more precise answer.

April Fool

Newspapers seem to be getting April Fool fatigue - at least I didn't spot much this year.  Pride of place I think goes to the airline Virgin Australia for advertising the introduction of a new class of flying - Spin Class - for those who don't want to miss their daily visit to the gym.  Part of the cabin will be fitted out with exercise bikes!

Oh, this weather!

So tomorrow - Easter Monday - is likely to be a wash-out, or maybe even a white-out.  This has renewed calls for Easter to be made a fixed date towards the end of the month, when the weather is more likely to be fair.  We've discussed this before, and I won't repeat what I said then, but I think we fundamentally have to decide whether we are celebrating a Christian festival - in which case the date is set for us according to Biblical lore, or whether it is to be a secular holiday - in which case we can set it as we will.