Words, words...

So what is "21st century socialism"?  This is the phrase used by Jeremy Corbyn in his key-note speech on the final day of the Labour Party's annual conference.  Rather like "brexit means brexit" it's a somewhat meaningless phrase - or rather, it's one of those useful pronouncements which can mean whatever you want it to mean.  But why add 21st century? Is this something different from (pre-21st century) socialism? Bit like Blair changing Labour to New Labour which didn't really change anything?  

Publish and be damned - by me at least!

Sad to see the Daily Telegraph behaving like a tabloid and secretly filming Sam Allardyce making some ill-chosen comments which have led to him losing his job as manager of the England football team.  At least he goes with a record of played one, won one.  There was a time when there was a definite divide between the "quality" press and the rest and depending on what you were reading you knew what you would be getting, but now it seems anything goes.  Like I say, I feel rather saddened by the whole affair.

Make your minds up!

Ironic that many of those who voted to "take back control" in the EU referendum are the same people who are now campaigning vigorously against fracking, seemingly oblivious to the fact that fracking - whatever you think about it - would give us much more control over our own energy production and make us far less reliant on the Middle East, Russia and the US to keep the home fires burning.

Ooh - he's nice!!

Is Labour in danger of becoming a personality cult?  Following the recent leadership contest, and listening to some of the people who voted for Jeremy Corbyn, it seems clear that they voted for him simply because they liked him - they didn't really seem to know - or care - about what he stood for, or in which direction he wanted to take the party.  Not that this is specifically a Labour problem - with each successive general election it has become more and more obvious that many people are simply voting for whom they want to be Prime Minister - which is a complete prostitution of the electoral process. What can be done about it though??

Nice little earner!

If you get hold of any of these new polymer £5 notes. it's worth checking the serial numbers.  Notes in mint condition with serial numbers starting AA01 are fetching around £200 on eBay.

Plus ça change...

So it's Corbyn again?  No surprise there then?  All the talk is about "uniting behind the leader" and "listening to the members" but there's an unspoken assumption there that it is up to those MPs who do not fully support him to fall into line, whereas he is the immovable object - the idea that he should even consider moving towards them and being more inclusive doesn't seem to occur.  And there's also an assumption that the membership know best - which if you think about it, is a strange concept.  If they do, then what's the point of having any sort of management structure.  Just leave all decisions to the members.  You can imagine the chaos that would cause.  The Labour Party is crying out for positive, effective leadership - and unless Corbyn significantly changes his approach, they ain't gonna get it.

Ha ha

A man was in a pub, just sitting there looking at his drink. He stayed like that for about a half hour. Then a big trouble making tattooed lorry driver plonked himself down next to him, picked up his drink and downed it in one  The poor man started crying. The lorry driver said, "Oh come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replied, wiping his tears, "This day has been the worst of my life. First, I overslept and got to work really late. My boss fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found  out it had been stolen. The police said there was nothing they could do. I got a cab to go home, and when I got out, I remembered I'd left my wallet on the back seat. The cab driver just drove away. I went inside my house where I found my wife in bed with the gardener. I left home to come to this pub and just when I was thinking about putting an end to it all, you showed up and drank my poison."

Snail's pace?

The Government has said it is "committed" to the introduction of what is being called "The Alan Turing Law".  He, you may remember, received a Royal Pardon back in 2013 in respect of his conviction in 1952 for an act of "gross indecency" with another man, and the law which some people are naming after him is intended to extend the same pardoning to all those others convicted of similar offences back in the day.  Whatever you think about the basic principle (and there are pros and cons - see my previous posts on the subject) I think we are entitled to ask - what's taken so long?  Homosexuality between men was effectively decriminalised back in 1967, and many of those who would be affected by this proposed new law will probably be dead by now.  And I'm afraid the cynic in me wonders whether that is in fact the point - you can't claim compensation if you're dead!

National Health Service

Note the first word - National.  What does that signify?  Well surely, that it covers the country.  Wherever you are in the Kingdom, you can get the same service.  Well, maybe, maybe not.  Hearken to the story of a pensioner who went to a local health centre for blood tests.  On the way out he lost his footing and fell awkwardly, and banged his head and grazed his arms and knee.  A member of staff helped him back inside.  So far, so good.  What he really needed was someone to give him a quick once-over, a cup of tea and maybe a couple of plasters - and this is where it becomes somewhat unbelievable.  He was refused any further help on the grounds that he was not a patient of this particular health centre.  Although he had been sent there for blood tests, he was registered with another surgery nearby.  So just how National is our NHS?

Don't judge a book...

Do you remember that episode of "Dad's Army" where Pt Godfrey is ostracised by Captain Mainwaring and most of the platoon when it is revealed that he was a conscientious objector in the First World War, only for them to later discover that he joined The Royal Army Medical Corps as a stretcher bearer and was awarded the Military Medal for rescuing wounded soldiers under fire at the Battle of the Somme.  I wonder whether the script writer had in mind William Coltman, a Midland lad,  who has the distinction of being the most highly decorated soldier (as opposed to officer) of the First World War (VC, DCM & Bar, MM & Bar) even though, like Godfrey, he was a conscientious objector and won his awards for "conspicuous bravery, initiative and devotion to duty"  as a stretcher bearer.

Wrong end of telescope?

So the penalties for using a hand-held mobile 'phone whilst driving are to be doubled.  Is this the right approach to the problem?  As I understand it, the technology exists to make using a 'phone in a car as safe as can be (as has been mentioned in previous posts, nothing is ever 100% safe), so why are we not requiring the makers of cars and the manufacturers of mobile 'phones to construct their products so that this technology is built in and available to all?  Is it just easier (and more profitable) to clobber the motorist?

Fascinating fact.

Did you know that the "Black lives matter" protesters who disrupted flights at London City Airport the other week were all white?

Animal Farm sports rules?

In true Orwellian fashion, it would appear that some performance-enhancing banned substances are more banned than others.

Quo vadis?

Whither now for UKIP?  Farage stood down claiming, effectively, that his work was done following the referendum vote to leave the EU, but the party seemingly soldiers on, and are due to elect a new leader.  But for what purpose?  Other than a watching brief to be ready to hold the government to account over its conduct of the Brexit negotiations, it seems to have little point.  And once we actually leave....??

Her Britannic Majesty...

I still have my old dark blue passport and certainly I think it feels more substantial and looks more important than the newer red EU one.  So I can understand and to a certain extent empathise with those who want to bring it back. But don't push your luck.  A recent petition calls for the removal of "all French words" from the cover of the new (that is, old-style) British passport.  Presumably this refers to "Dieu et mon droit" and "Honi soit qui mal y pense" both of which appear (and have for centuries) on the Royal coat of arms.  So there's the irony - these Brexiteers who want to take back what they perceive we lost when we joined the EU, actually want to destroy stuff which goes back much, much further than that.

Cold enough to...

I would imagine many of you completed that sentence (if maybe only in your head) with ...to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.  Not something to say in polite society perhaps, but in fact the saying's origin is in no way rude or salacious, and has nothing to do with the anatomy of our ape cousins,  Go back to the days of Francis Drake and pirate ships and the like.  Such ships would store their cannon balls on an open-shelved arrangement made of brass and called a monkey.  In very cold weather, the brass would contract, and the cannon balls might fall off.  So there - you and your dirty mind!

Money talks

Never been a big fan of The Great British Bake-Off (see previous posts on the subject), but I find it sad that, after nurturing it from a nothing show into a world beater, the BBC have apparently lost it to Channel 4.  Sadder still that it's all about money.  You might think that the owners of the show might have shown some loyalty to the BBC who have spent six years building it up into what it is now, but apparently greed has won out.  As one tweeter put it "It's all about the dough".

Sense of proportion?

A Sikh temple in Leamington Spa is prepared to conduct inter-faith marriages (e.g. a Sikh marrying a Hindu).  This doesn't sit well with some traditionalist Sikhs and a group of them staged a sit-down in the temple the other day where such a marriage was due to take place.  When they wouldn't move the police were called.  So far - well, hardly worth comment.  But, bear with me.  A good Sikh always carries a Kirpan which is a short-bladed knife carried for purely religious and ceremonial purposes.  And these were good Sikhs.  So suddenly what was clearly a peaceful protest officially became an armed occupation involving a "significant number of weapons", and arrests were made.  Mountains and molehills spring to mind,

Music Man

One of those tunes which will be familiar to most people, but it is unlikely that they will know what it is, is Gymnopédie No. 1 by Erik Satie, who was born 150 years ago this year.  It's a slow hypnotic piece and indeed it is hard to see any connection with the title, as Gymnopaedia was an ancient Greek festival of naked war-dancing, but there you are.  Satie wrote three of them, but only No. 1 has achieved any popularity.  Very much ahead of his time, he is now seen as the originator of the minimalistic movement in music.  I like his stuff because it's undemanding and easy to play!  Perhaps second favourite of his is a simple waltz tune called Je te veux which is currently being used as background for a Cesar dog-food advert.

Oi, ref!

It seems we're not finished with silly school stories yet.  A primary school (yes, that's 5 to 11-yesr-olds) will not allow its pupils to play football at playtime unless they and their parents sign a "contract" concerning their behaviour.  It includes things like "I will not hog the ball", "I will not name call or tease" and such like.  Now remember - these are just little kids and we're not talking formally organised matches here, but just playground kick-arounds.  OTT or what!!?

School -eughhh!

Schooling very much in the news at present - particularly as the new Prime Minister  has nailed her colours to the mast of grammar schools.  At the risk of appearing to be reactionary, can I suggest that our attitude to education is, and to an extent always has been based on a false premise - that children want to learn?  Now, many if not most of them do, but as any schoolteacher will tell you, there are those who simply have no interest in learning - at least, not in learning what the school wants to teach them. These are the disruptive pupils who don't want to be there, and are simply getting through the day as best they can waiting to be able to go back home.  So, are we simply wasting everybody's time by forcing them to attend school?  Many of them are smart kids who are well capable of making their way in the world without any formal education - and some may come to education later in life.  Not sure our "one size fits all" attitude to schooling really suits those at either of the extreme ends of the intellectual spectrum, and if we're going down the grammar school line for those at the top end, what about those at the bottom end?

Computer says...

I'm old enough to remember a world without computers, and very definitely without the internet.  So perhaps as a result I am in awe of what computers can do but equally very cautious of placing any blind reliance on them to get the job done. And every now and again something happens which reinforces that belief.  Like the story of the flight from Sydney which was scheduled to go to Malaysia, but thanks to an incorrect computer input ended up in Melbourne.  A good example of what we used to refer to as GIGO - garbage in, garbage out.

Here we go again!

Certain topics keep cropping up according to the time of year.  It's back-to-school time, so once again we have stories of head teachers acting like Little Hitlers and sending pupils home for breaches of the school uniform code.  There are good reasons for having a uniform code but some head teachers simply see it as yet another excuse to throw their weight around.  Apparently there's a school in Margate where no fewer than 70 pupils have been refused admission in the first two days of term for wearing the wrong sort of shoes or trousers or such.  I've said it before and I'll say ir again - schools are for teaching.  Does the fact that I am wearing trainers in any way affect my ability to learn?  By all means send me home at the end of the day with a note and give my parents a couple of weeks to find me some proper shoes, but otherwise get on with your job!

Round and round...

In parts of Cornwall, there is a tradition of building roundhouses - we stayed in one on a holiday many years ago.  The tradition comes from the Celts, who believed that the Devil hid up corners.  So - no corners, nowhere for the Devil to hide.

Strewth!

Did you know we had a parliamentary sleaze watchdog? No, me neither.  His (actually I think it's currently a her) official title is the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards and is in charge of regulating "MPs conduct and propriety".  Lovely word - propriety.  It's the noun derived from the adjective proper, and therefore means that which is proper.  Problem of course, as with all such concepts is that what I consider proper and what you consider proper may differ, so it's a subjective notion.  Which brings us to Mr Vaz, a Labour MP who has apparently been indulging in homosexual activity in the privacy of his own home with what used to be called "rent boys".  Note that it was in private, and we only know about it as a result of a Sunday newspaper "sting" operation,  The Commissioner may well now have to decide if that is "proper" behaviour for an MP.  Good luck with that!

Curate's egg...

So - quick thought on the BBC's sitcom "reinventions":-

• Are You Being Served - no, waste of time.  Just a pale reflection of the original.
• Porridge - yes. this could fly.  Updated, and turned the old idea upside down, with a younger protagonist and an older sidekick,  Shows promise.
• Goodnight Sweetheart - not so much a remake, more a continuation and if you were a fan of the original, you'll like this one.
• Young Hyacinth - not sure.  Don't think these "before they were famous" programmes often work, and can't see this one having a future.

So, two possibles out of four - not bad I suppose.

Ooh - that's a good idea!

I suppose if you want to encapsulate just what is wrong with Jeremy Corbyn (always presuming you think there is anything wrong with him) you need look no further than this idea of his that popping down the pub after work with your workmates for a quick drink (or two) before going home should be outlawed because it discriminates against mothers who want to get home to their kids.  So what exactly does this tell us about him?  That he's a thinker with no regard for the practicalities of his thoughts.  That he believes a good idea is sufficient unto itself irrespective of whether or not it could ever be put into effect.  Or.....  the more scary notion is that he sees a future where people do as the Government (or perhaps just Jeremy) tell them to.  This is the future of the secret police, of people informing on each other, an Orwellian future where the idea of going down the pub after work just wouldn't occur to you, because you have been brought up (brainwashed?) not to think like that.  Either way, he's not a man I would want running the country.

No fair???

A review of parliamentary boundaries, which has been ongoing for some time now, is due to report shortly.  It will reduce the number of MPs from 650 to 600 and redraw the constituencies so that, as nearly as possible, each constituency has the same number of potential voters, and so each vote is "worth" the same.  How could you possibly argue against that?  And yet, just about everybody other than the Conservatives are doing so.  An analysis of what is likely to happen shows that of the 50 seats which will disappear altogether, 10 to 15 will be Tory seats, but 25 to 30 will be Labour, and as a result of the redrawing of constituency boundaries many reasonably safe Labour seats are likely to  become marginal.  So not surprisingly Labour are having a moan.  Of course. what they fail to acknowledge is that for some quarter of a century, they have had a built-in advantage at every general election in that a Labour vote has been "worth" considerably more than a Conservative one.  What goes around, comes around, folks.

Huh???

Struggling to see how the line "I have more roots than Kunta Kinte" which was apparently said by a character in Coronation Street the other day, is racist.  A lot of people have taken objection to it on that ground and Ofcom is looking into it.  As far as I can see, the only reason it could be considered racist is on the basis that Kunta Kinte (who by the way was a completely fictitious character in another TV series) was a black man.  And presumably, there are those who consider that making a joke (or a pun, or whatever you want to call it) about a black man is racist.  The question is - should we really be taking such people seriously? And by the way - how on earth did the original writers and producers get away with the name Kunta Kinte?

Tricky....

Can the Prime Minister invoke Article 50 (see post dated 6th July) without parliamentary approval?  Well, yes, probably so.  The "royal prerogative" (by which the Government exercises authority from the days when the monarch could do what they liked, simply because they were the monarch) covers the conduct of treaties and almost certainly covers this point.  So, she can, but should she?  Ah, that's a different question. There are certainly calls for her not to proceed without a parliamentary vote, but the problem is that as far as we know, the majority of MPs are opposed to Brexit, and she may well struggle to get their approval for such a move.  It's a bit "devil and the deep blue sea" stuff, isn't it?