Tiddy-oggies.

So the Cornish Pasty is in danger of going he same way as the Melton Mowbray pork pie (see post dated 22/12/05). One of the more silly arguments being put forward in support of this idea, is that to be a genuine Cornish pasty it must be made of specific ingredients. Oh, come on! We know that pasties were working men's food, and as such would have traditionally been made from whatever the wife or mother or whoever had to hand - and doubtless they would all have had their own personal recipes, which they would each have seen as the "real thing". The idea that they all somehow got together and decided that they would put nothing in other than "beef, potato, onion, swede or turnip" is comical. And pasties were in no way specific to Cornwall - the basic idea of food in a pastry case with a handle can be found in many other areas of the country. If anything marks out the Cornish version from the rest, it is that the handle is traditionally on the side rather than the top. All a bit daft, isn't it?

Answering the wrong question?

When I was a civil servant, I used to have to write annual reports on my staff. Back then I had to effectively give marks out of ten on various aspects of performance, one of which was "penetration" - defined as "the ability to get to the root of a problem - to see beyond the surface". The Government have come up with proposals to amend the law relating to murder and manslaughter which to my mind rate no more than a 2 for penetration. Because the problem is not what names we use, or what defences we allow, but simply the fact that - thanks to Parliament - murder carries with it a mandatory life sentence. By taking away from judges the discretion to make the sentence reflect the offence we have created a tail-wagging-the-dog situation where we have to find some way of not calling it murder when it clearly is, but we feel a life sentence would seem unduly harsh. Do away with the mandatory life sentence and the problem goes away - we can just have one offence of unlawful killing with a sentence appropriate to the circumstances. Of course the argument most commonly put forward is that judges are not elected, and therefore not accountable. But the other side of the coin is that decisions taken by people who are elected tend to be taken on the basis of which decision will be the most popular, rather than which decision is the right one. Put it this way - if my fate were in the hands of a judge or a politician, I know where I'd want it to be!

Pier to pier.

Just what is it about piers? I was devastated when I saw the pictures of Weston-super-Mare's pier going up in flames, and clearly the locals were very affected as well. I suppose it goes back to childhood, when piers were magical places associated with holidays. There were all those penny-in-the-slot machines, ice cream, candy floss and fish 'n' chips, the mysterious Gipsy Rose Lee in her litttle tent and the end of the pier theatre show. Sheer enchantment for a young lad and seen through nostalgic eyes it retains its spell. I hope they manage to rebuild it.

The Lazy Cook

I've been watching "Chinese Cooking Made Easy" on the BBC. But, being me, I wanted it even easier! So here's my short-cut take on the lady's recipe for Chicken Chow Mein, which you can find at www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/chickenchowmein_89258.shtml.
First forget having to cook the noodles - just use a packet of those ready-to-wok type. Then you can get bags of frozen stir-fry vegetables at the supermarket, so chuck a good handful of those in in place of the pepper, bean sprouts and spring onion. So it becomes a simple four-stage process -
1. Prepare the chicken as per the recipe
2. Stir-fry the chicken
3. Add the vegetables and stir-fry for a couple of minutes
4. Add the noodles and stir-fry for a further minute or two.
And that really does make it easy!

When the pieces come together...

I've just had an epiphany. My post the other day about a maiden aunt and a small snippet in my paper have just resulted in a joining of the dots. My favourite maiden aunt (great-aunt actually) was called Em. She was a darling - she insisted on being called Em by everybody, including the kids. I remember taking my eldest grandchild, who would have been about 4 or 5 to see her - she was well into her 90's. With the impertinence of youth my grandson suddenly said "Em, why aren't you married?" and I remember her saying "Oh my dear, there weren't the men, you see". It seemed a strange thing to say and perhaps for that reason it stuck in my mind. I always assumed she meant she'd never met the right man, but now thanks to reading that snippet, it's all become clear. She was born in 1901, so she would have been of marriageable age around the early 1920's. And it suddenly came to me - there weren't the men, because a whole generation of young men had been wiped out by the Great War. Quite literally there weren't the men, and so many young girls, like Em, were denied marriage and family and companionship, and grew up lonely and alone. I am not ashamed to say that when that hit me I cried for Em, and wished I'd taken more notice of her and visited her more often.

That the public are interested does not make it in the public interest.

Not surprisingly, the media have not greeted the Max Mosley judgment with much enthusiasm. As I see it, there are only two circumstances which would justify an "exposé" piece such as led to this court case. The first is the exposure of hypocrisy - if someone is publicly presenting themselves as something they are not, then they cannot complain if they are unmasked. The second is where a person holds an office which the public could reasonably expect to be held by a person with specific criteria - moral or otherwise - and they fail in that regard. The Mosley case falls under this latter category. The question is, does being president of the FIA carry with it any suggestion that you are a particular sort of person, other than an astute businessman? I don't think it does, and therefore his private life - however distasteful - has no bearing on his position, and is nobody's business but his own. I think the court got it right.

Alway look on the bright side of life...

I used to regularly visit friends who lived in a small village just inland of Aberystwyth, so my eye was taken by a report in the paper of the current Mayor of that town seeking to overturn its 30-year-old ban on the showing of the film "Life of Brian". My amazement that the ban could have lasted this long is only exceeded by my surprise that there ever was a ban in the first place. I can understand that at that time people might have felt uncomfortable about it - particularly around that part of the country, where they are (or used to be) very "chapel" - but banning one of the funniest and socially perceptive films of all time? All power to the Mayor in her efforts to right this wrong - she by the way was actually an actress in the film, which may explain her interest in pursuing this.

Justice?

More than six years each for "canoe man" John Darwin and his wife does seem rather harsh. You do get the impression that they are being punished more for what they put their family - and in particular their children - through, rather than for the actual fraud they committed, and however morally reprehensible that may be, it is not a criminal offence and therefore should not be a matter for criminal punishment. Smacks a bit of the Great Train Robbery approach to sentencing, doesn't it?

Nothing new under the sun.

I get rather annoyed when old ideas are rolled out and presented as something new and innovative. The Government has trumpeted a new initiative to provide "extra care" housing for the elderly as an alternative for those who might otherwise have to go into residential care - the idea being that these will be small properties which can be rented, and there will be care and support services available on site. Good idea - but not new. My grandmother - not the one I am always talking about, this is my father's mother - lived for a time in exactly this sort of set-up, and this must have been some fifty years ago!

If you don't want the answer...

A guide to British customs for Polish workers makes the point that "How are you?" is a greeting and not a question. I remember as a child being taken to see a maiden aunt, and it being impressed on me that under no circumstances was I to ask her how she was, otherwise we would be subjected to a half an hour lecture on all her various ailments, real and imaginary.

What are you on?

My knowledge of mythology is a bit dodgy, but I think it was a bloke called Sisyphus who was doomed to spend eternity pushing a heavy rock up a steep hill, only to have it roll down to the bottom and have to start all over again. The Dwain Chambers affair brought this to mind, as it must be something akin to what those seeking to ban illegal substances from athletics feel like. Every time they think they've made an advance, along comes some new performance-enhancing substance, and they have to start all over again. Of course, this raises the question of whether, if you can never eradicate the problem completely, you have to somehow learn to live with it. We used to make a distinction between professionals and amateurs in sport, with separate competitions for each - perhaps we should consider bringing drug-taking out into the open, with separate competitions for those using, and those not using?

The buck stops where?

Did you see the Schools Secretary, Ed Balls, giving a classic "not me Miss, please Miss" performance on Channel4 News the other night when being questioned about the SATS shambles? He's adopted the clever trick of putting another body (the Qualification and Curriculum Authority) between himself and what's actually going on, so that if it all goes pear-shaped (which it has) he can lay the responsibility at their door, rather than have to accept it himself. Of course, you can guess who appoints the members of the Authority, can't you?

Knives.

When I was a lad I carried a knife, as did the vast majority of my contemporaries. They were pen-knives, and ranged from the simple two-bladed affair to the more sophisticated ones with several tools, including that little pick which was said to be for getting stones out of 'orses 'ooves. We saw them simply as utensils, and very useful they were for sharpening pencils, cutting string and so on. What point am I making? Well, I think it is that it's not the carrying of knives that is the problem - it's the intent with which they are carried. And yet the official response seems to be solely directed at trying to eradicate the carrying of knives, and as one commentator wisely said, even if that policy succeeds, those with evil intent will simply switch to carrying some other weapon. What we need (and I know it's easier said than done) is a policy which addresses the mindset of those who see violence as their way of making a point.

Need for speed (limits)?

Whatever the real reason behind Swindon Council's proposal to scrap it's speed cameras in favour of traffic calming measures, it highlights the ongoing argument about whether prevention is better than punishment. Should you penalise those who break the law, or try and prevent them breaking it in the first place? I imagine most people would say both, but the greater effort should be put into prevention. I've posted about speed limits before, and I think the most effective measure which could be taken is to stop treating motorists like naughty children, and start talking to them as responsible adults and setting speed limits at a realistic level which everybody can accept as sensible. I live in hope - but I'm not holding my breath!

X marks the spot.

Once again people are bemoaning the low turnout at elections, and it is being suggested that voters should be bribed into voting by entering all those who do vote into a draw with a chance of winning a game console or something such. What nobody seems to realise (or is not prepared to acknowledge) is that failure to vote may well in itself be a statement - either that the person concerned sees no point in voting, or that they do not support any of the candidates on offer. I think the provision of a "None of the above" box on ballot papers might well result in a higher turnout.

Glad I'm agnostic.

The Anglican Church is busy tearing itself apart - or trying to avoid doing so - over women bishops and homosexual priests. This highlights how far out of touch they are with the real world, and how far they are away from the basic values of the Man they profess to follow. Most of the Church's hang-ups over sex stem not from anything Jesus said, but from the writings of Paul (who probably never knew Jesus personally) and Paul had pretty extreme views on the subject - like in a perfect world nobody should have sex at all, and marriage should be seen purely as the lesser of two evils - i.e. a prophylactic against fornication! Isn't it ironic that a Church which has supposedly grown up around Jesus, who by all accounts was a very inclusive person, should be so intolerant and exclusive.

Ha ha.

I found this on the net, and liked it -

(1) To find a woman you need time and money, so Woman = Time x Money
(2) But time is money, so Woman = Money x Money = Money²
(3) Money is the root of all problems, so Money = √Problems
(4) Therefore Woman = √Problems²
(5) The square root and square cancel each other out, so
(6) Woman = Problems.

No offence girls - just a joke!

Flash, Bang, Wallop - what a picture!

This decision by Google to expand their "Google Earth" project by providing street photographs has once again raised the question of the rights of photographers to take photographs in public places. English law is based on the fundamental principle that you can do anything provided there is not a law prohibiting you from doing it. This gives you what is known as a "residual right" and when we talk about the right to take photographs, this is what we mean. So what legal restrictions are there on taking photographs? Well, if you're on private property without permission you're in breach of the law anyway and taking photographs would be a further aspect of that breach. If you're on private property with permission then it can be assumed that you have permission to take photographs unless you have been told otherwise. If you are in a public place, then in general there is no restriction on the taking of photographs, unless by so doing you could be accused of harassment, obstructing the highway or compromising national security. There are also restrictions on taking photographs around court buildings while they are in session, and (rather bizarrely), photographing banknotes wherever you are. Apparently an MP is attempting to get the law on photography clarified, but as things stand I can't see that Google is doing anything wrong.

.--. .- ... ... - .... . ... .- .-.. - .--. .-.. . .- ... .

The post the other day about the SOS distress call reminded me of a tale my mother told me years ago. Her mother - my grandmother, who as I've mentioned before was mainly responsible for looking after me as a kid - was in her youth a telegraph operator at the Post Office run by her parents, and as such was highly proficient in Morse Code. During the war, my Dad joined the ARP and needed to learn Morse. Apparently he and my Gran used to drive my Mum mad at meal times by tapping out messages in Morse to each other on the table top!

Old habits die hard.

Funny how the way we were brought up in our early years has such a lasting effect on our behaviour. I was born in 1937, before the war started and as a child it was always impressed on me that I should eat everything on my plate - "eat it up, think of the starving millions in China" was what my Gran would say. My wife on the other hand was born in 1941 when the war was under way and food was rationed. She was brought up to believe that you should always leave something on your plate - this as a way of saying "oh, you've given me so much, I'm stuffed". To have cleared your plate would have been to embarrass the cook by suggesting they hadn't given you enough. Result - I always clean my plate, even if that means eating something I'd rather not. My wife on the other hand would always leave a little of something. This used to be a source of constant amusement to us both, but neither of us could bring ourselves to change our ways.

To err is human.

The "Criminal Justice" drama serial has been rightly praised as top-class television, but what message was it trying to get across? Well quite a few I think - not least the way remand prisoners are treated, but for me the main message is that the criminal justice system is not somehow bullet-proof and special, but just an ordinary system run by human beings, and human beings are subject to human failings, and can make mistakes. So it is inevitable that there will be errors. The worth of any system is how it deals with that inevitability. And even though, for dramatic effect, the programme somewhat exaggerated matters, it has to be said that the justice system doesn't score very highly in that regard.

Let them eat cake.

It's all about perception, isn't it? Here are the world leaders at the G8 summit seriously discussing world poverty and food shortages, and then going off to have a sumptuous eight-course banquet. Are they mad, or blind, or both?

Q.E.D.

I was only talking the other week about there being two sides to every coin, and now we have a case in point. Biofuels were not so long ago - and to a certain extent, still are - seen as one of the major answers to both the shortage of oil, and global warming. Lots of money has been ploughed into their development. Now we learn that devoting land to growing crops for biofuels has resulted in shortages in staples like cereals and sugar which has led to higher food prices . Can't win, you see!

Pay peanuts - get monkeys.

Does it really matter all that much if the SATs results are delayed? As far as parents and children are concerned, they're pretty much a waste of time, although some parents mistakenly make a big deal out of them. They are of most concern to schools who, rightly or wrongly, are judged on them, and that judgment is going to be the same whenever the results are published. What should be of concern is that this is another fine mess caused by the Government going for the cheap option - will they never learn?

On the number 73...

Here's the scenario - you are running a bus service from A to B. Your bus can carry up to 50 passengers. There are in fact only 10 people on board, who have each paid a £1 fare. OK? Now suppose that the other 40 seats are being occupied by pensioners travelling free by virtue of their new national bus passes. What difference does this make to you? Your bus still has to travel from A to B, and the amount you receive in fares is the same. So why should you complain? But this is exactly what bus operators are doing, it seems. They're even taking the Government to court over how much they should be paid for providing this service. I just can't see it myself.

Come quick!

Trivial Pursuit question of the day - Titanic was one of the first ships to use what was then the "new" distress call, SOS. So what did it replace? Answer - CQD. CQ had been used for some time previously as an "all stations alert" call, and the D was added to it to mean "distress". SOS was adopted in 1906 on the basis that it was a more easily recognisable pattern in Morse Code.

Hm.....

This might seem very much a case of a turkey voting for Christmas, but has the time come to consider requiring pensioners - at least those who have income other than the basic state pension - to pay National Insurance contributions? We make big and disproportionate demands on the NHS, and the cost of that and our state pension is paid for by those who are working, and the ratio of one to t'other is rapidly reducing as life expectancy increases. There are constant calls for the pension to be increased, and to be linked to average earnings rather than the cost of living index (which doesn't really reflect the "cost of living" at all), but if anything like this is ever to be achieved I think pensioners themselves may have to contribute to the pot. Obviously I would suggest that the contributions should be at a reduced rate to reflect the fact that pensioners do not qualify for many of the scheme's benefits, and the question of whether current pensioners should be included or not needs some thought.

Music Man.

"Wouldn't you just die without Mahler" exclaimed Trish in "Educating Rita". Well, I don't know about that, but Mahler certainly speaks to you -if indeed he speaks to you at all - very much on an emotional level. And you could forgive him almost anything for writing the Adagietto from his 5th Symphony (although he never intended it to be played in the sombre, funereal style it so often is - he actually wrote it as a love song for his wife). His 8th Symphony has become known as The Symphony of a Thousand, which I always thought was hyperbole, but apparently at its premiere, and on several occasions subsequently, it has actually taken over a thousand musicians and singers to perform it. And poor Trish eventually found that there was indeed truth in what she said.

What is an MP?

I do say that I try not to repeat myself, but this time I am quite deliberately going to, because it seems to me to be a matter of fundamental importance. Ruth Kelly has apparently been given permission to be absent next Tuesday when Parliament debate and vote on the embryo research Bill, so as to save her the embarrassment of either having to vote for a Bill she is morally opposed to, or otherwise having to vote against the Government. Gets her out of a hole, but completely misses the point. Let's be absolutely and 100% clear - Ms. Kelly is there because her constituents voted for her to represent them in Parliament. That is her job. Her personal views and beliefs are entirely irrelevant. As their MP she should act in their interests - and I hardly think that chickening out is doing that.

Euro 2008

A thoroughly enjoyable competition with some top-class games. Was it the fact that no home nation was involved that allowed us to watch it in a relaxed fashion - or was it simply that the standard of football was so high? If we had been there, I don't think we would have lasted five minutes! I found it interesting that - with the exception of Spain - the teams that impressed most in the early stages (Portugal, Croatia, Holland) all failed to get past the quarter-finals. Perhaps there really is such a thing as peaking too soon!