Debbie does Dallas, anyone?

It's understandable that the media have latched onto the "porn film" aspect of Jacqui Smith's latest expenses row (by the way, I'm not sure that "adult content" would really rank as porn for aficionados of the genre). Anyway, that's all really by the by. The basic problem which we should be worried about is that (a) the claim was officially tendered, albeit we are told inadvertently, and (b) it was apparently passed without comment by the people who are supposed to vet expenses claims. It's the system that's rotten and needs overhauling - other than giving the red-tops something to titter about, the actual nature of the claim is immaterial. And it's worth remembering that the current very generous expenses to which MPs are entitled were introduced as a deliberate alternative to increases in basic pay which were considered at the time to be politically unacceptable. Law of unforeseen consequences again!

Is there a link?

Letter in the paper over the weekend raised the very interesting question of whether there is a connection between the decrease in the number of people smoking and the increase in obesity. Certainly my weight problems started shortly after I gave up smoking. The law of unforeseen consequences again, perhaps?

Wise words.

A lot of people are commenting on a recent speech by Tory MEP Daniel Hannon in the European Parliament at Strasbourg where he takes Gordon Brown to task not so much for failing to accept any responsibility for his part in our present straightened circumstances, as for carrying on regardless once the seriousness of the situation became clear. If you ignore the party political dig at the end, it's a dispassionate and well put together speech which deserves to be listened to. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the BBC do not appear to have considered it worthy of airtime, so you'll have to go to Sky News or the internet to see it - and I suggest it's well worth doing.

Stick a pin in...!

The recently created Ofqual, whose job is to police exam standards, has come out with a report condemning GCSE science papers as failing to stretch able pupils - in other words, just too easy. Certainly some of the questions being quoted in the press do seem to be juvenile at best, but what is even more of a problem, it seems to me, is the use of multiple choice questions, because it stops you having to really think and work the question out. You know that you are being given the right answer - it's just a matter of identifying it from the choices on offer. And even if you had no knowledge of the subject at all, and if every question had four multiple choice answers, then simply choosing your answers at random would give you a fair chance of ending up with a score of around 25%. Are multiple choice questions used because it makes it easier for the markers perhaps?

What price tradition?

The fact that Cadbury's are closing their factory in Keynsham, putting some 500 people out of work, and moving production to Poland seems to have slipped under my radar. I imagine that George and Richard Cadbury, who founded the company in the mid-1800s and who as Quakers put the well-being of their employees very high on their agenda (they created the model village of Bournville on the outskirts of Birmingham to house them), must really be spinning in their graves.

Close shave.

I for one am pleased that the IPL American style beach-cricket nonsense has ended up in South Africa rather than here. They wouldn't like to take over the Olympics as well, would they?

Ha ha.

A family was entertaining some pious friends for dinner. The hostess, keen to show that they upheld Christian standards in their own home, asked her five-year-old son to say grace. He just looked blank. There was an awkward pause, followed by a reassuring smile from his mother: "Well, darling" she said "just say what Daddy said at breakfast this morning". Obediently, the boy repeated: "Oh God, we've got those awful people coming for dinner tonight!".

Up front and honest.

I've always been a fan of Ken Clarke, who seems to me to be one of the few politicians who tells it like it is, and doesn't try to dress things up. His recent statement that, if they do win the next election, a Conservative Government will have to assess their priorities in the light of the mess they will inherit, and that their pledge to increase the inheritance tax threshold to £1m may have to wait its turn, seems to me to be no more than common sense.

Rugby Union.

Good match between Wales and Ireland, which could have gone either way, and which showcased northern hemisphere rugby at its best - not, I fear to say, that that says too much in international terms. England's first half performance against France was shown to be pretty much a false dawn - they were very ordinary against an even more ordinary Scotland. France, as is so often the case, gave a series of Jekyll and Hyde performances, and Italy once again proved to be just the whipping boys. What I simply can't understand is that rugby, like all ball games is essentially a game of possession - you can't play without the ball. So what on earth is this recent predilection for aimlessly kicking the ball upfield? All it does is give possession to your opponents - just what's the point?

Horns of a dilemma.

One of the more difficult questions of the day is - to what extent should Government seek to dictate how we live our lives? It's cropped up again over the Chief Medical Officer's call for alcohol to be priced by the unit, and a minimum unit price to be laid down by law. On the one hand, what business is it of Government whether, and if so how much I drink. On the other hand it is a proper function of Government to see that taxpayers' money is spent wisely and frugally. If the consumption of alcohol is placing a financial burden on the NHS and the Police which would not otherwise be there, then it is proper for Government to take any steps within its power to reduce or eliminate it. Tricky, isn't it - and I speak as a moderately heavy drinker.

Roots.

Apparently there are plans afoot in East Anglia and Devon - and maybe other areas as well - to replace local district councils with large unitary authorities, and this is creating much local opposition. I've commented before on the folly of assuming that the "economies of scale" approach will necessarily work when it comes to provision of services, but the opposition also appears to be driven by a desire not to lose local identity. I can also relate to that - once upon a time, where I live was in Staffordshire, and then along came the artificially created West Midlands which swallowed everything up in its path. That was, and to a certain extent still is a cause of resentment round here, so my sympathies are very much with those who are trying to retain their individuality.

Why us?

Pictures on the news again of people in the French channel ports trying to hide away in lorries to get into this country. What I have never been able to understand is what is so special about Britain? Most of these people have travelled through several other countries to get to the channel, so why haven't they stopped in Spain, Italy, Germany, or any of the other countries on their route. Are we seen as a particularly soft touch, or do they really believe that the streets here are paved with gold, or what? I just don't get it.

Get real!

So it has now been proved - thanks to DNA - that a man who was convicted of murder, and has served 27 years in prison was not the killer. And there are still people calling for the reintroduction of the death penalty??

Oh, great...

Having just agreed to pay for my grandson's tuition fees at University, which hopefully he will start at the end of this year, the last thing I wanted to hear on the news was the suggestion that these fees should be increased by about 60% or more. I find it unbelievable that top-up fees were introduced by a Labour government in the first place - whatever happened to the idea of social equality? Mark 4:25 folks.

Rugby Union.

Very difficult to judge the England-France match on Sunday. Were England really that good, or was it more that the French were that bad? Was the last half-hour or so a truer reflection of the respective strengths of the two teams, or was it that England, with the match won, took their foot off the gas? We'll just have to wait and see, won't we? At least this time, England saw out the whole match with 15 players on the pitch, which has to be an improvement!

De oratore.

The media seem to be queuing up to praise Prince William for the speech he gave to the Child Bereavement Charity the other day. The content was OK, but was I alone in thinking that the delivery was pretty pants? Reading in a monotone from notes doesn't really inspire. He made his dad's public utterings seem positively Churchillian by comparison. As a future King (d.g.) he really needs to take some lessons in public speaking.

What have we learned?

It's worrying that after 25 years, Arthur Scargill still apparently really believes that he got it right - you remember the old cartoon of a troop of soldiers marching through town, and a woman declaring "Oh look, they're all out of step except our Jimmy!". Of course, Scargill's strategy was, and continues to be, to muddy the waters by confusing the two issues leading to the strike. On the one hand, you had the question of pit closures, which was clearly going to impinge greatly on miners and their families, and was thus a justifiable reason for protest. But this simply disguised the real reason for the dispute - the political ambition of the unions to dictate policy to the Government. It was this that made Government determined that they must not be allowed to win. The poor miners and their families were simply jam in the sandwich.

Good news for once.

Well, praise be - my grand-daughter has got in to the secondary school of her choice! So out of the four who have so far been through the process, two have ended up where they wanted to be, and two haven't. Fifty percent success rate - isn't our education system wonderful??

Quick...!

Human nature being what it is, I can see the Mayor of London's proposal to introduce count-down timers on pedestrian crossing lights simply resulting in mad last-minute dashes across the road, thus having quite the opposite effect from that intended.

Ireland.

Did anybody really think that paramilitary republicanism had ended? It's doubtful if it ever will. Like all ideological struggles, the best we can hope for is some accommodation which keeps violence to a minimum. So what is important now is not to give those who seek to use violence to get their way a platform which they can use to promote their views and recruit to their cause. Don't forget that the Provisional IRA started as a minor splinter group and fed and grew on the reaction to their activities. Let's learn from history for once, eh?

Taking chances.

Interesting little snippet in my paper today regarding perceived risk as opposed to real risk. Following the September 11th tragedy, the demand for air travel fell dramatically - and not just in the US. Air travel was perceived to be dangerous, so many people decided to go wherever they were going by car instead. Of course, travel by road is far and away the most hazardous way to get from A to B, and as a result it is estimated that some 2-3,000 extra deaths occurred as a result of this shift. But perception is a very powerful thing...

Ay, caramba!

Dora the Explorer is growing up? Say it isn't so! My three (nearly four) year old grand-daughter will be distraught. Dora is her heroine of the moment, and at that age you need stability and assurance, What would she make of a tween-age Dora? I can understand that those who have grown up with the character, and are now themselves older would relate more to her if she were to grow up with them, and maybe this is the thinking behind the change, but don't forget the little ones. Perhaps the intention is to have two Dora programmes - the original for the tots, and the new one for the slightly older children, and I can go along with that. Vamos....

Plane even more stupid!

Green custard - 'nuff said.

Smile, you're on TV!

There's a statistic floating about out there that says we are all recorded on CCTV about 300 times every day. It's a bit of a silly statistic really because obviously much depends on where you live, and what your lifestyle is. You have clearly got a much better chance of being caught on camera if you live in a big city than if you live in some remote country village, and if you are the sort of person who tends to stay at home all day, then it stand to reason that you will rarely if ever be recorded. Nonetheless, this proliferation of CCTV, and the fact that much of it is completely unregulated, is a matter for concern. We've talked about this before, but privacy is important to most of us, and the idea that our movements can be tracked, even though we are doing nothing wrong, is a worry. There is an Information Commissioner who is supposed to safeguard our interests over such matters, but he seems to have little teeth and can do no more than make recommendations, most of which seem to be ignored. I think our private lives need more protection

Ha ha.

Have you heard about the woman who confused her Valium tablets with her contraceptive pills? She has 14 children - but doesn't care!

For what?

Senator Edward Kennedy has been awarded an honorary knighthood for "services...to Northern Ireland". Funny, I remember him as a passionate speaker and fundraiser for the republican cause and solidly in favour of a united Ireland. It may be that there was stuff going on behind the scenes of which I am not aware, but the award seems a strange one given his public persona.

Mathematically challenged!

Gawd 'elp us - you'd think someone like Michael Grade, head of ITV, would know better. Discussing the cuts in scheduling he proposes to make in light of the company's losses over the last year, he said "We transmit, on average, eight hours of original UK drama in any one week across our channels. That will probably reduce to seven hours — which is hardly a decimation of drama output of ITV". Yes it is - decimation means to reduce by one-tenth (10%) - look it up. He is proposing a reduction of one eighth (12.5%), which is decimation plus!

Universally challenged?

The BBC just don't seem to be able to handle problems, do they? Ross/Brand, Carole Thatcher, Strictly Come Dancing, the Gaza appeal, and now it's University Challenge. They either dilly around for far too long before deciding what to do, or they come up with what looks suspiciously like a knee-jerk reaction. And in the case of University Challenge they've ended up with the worst possible result - Manchester win the final despite having lost. There were other options open to them - they could have let the result stand (everybody - even the losing side - seem to agree that Oxford were worthy winners on the day), they could have had a rematch or they could have penalised Oxford the points scored by their ineligible team member. This way, nobody can be satisfied. I have been very impressed with the way the Manchester team have handled the situation, and singularly unimpressed with the way the BBC have.

Better for whom?

"We will leave Iraq a better place" claims a British general speaking in advance of the withdrawal of troops later this year. Well, maybe, maybe not - I would be more interested to hear what the man on the Basra omnibus has to say about it - but what is certainly true is that we will leave Iraq a far less populated place. Statistics are difficult to come by, because deliberately the powers that be don't keep them, or if they do, don't publish them, but a conservative estimate is that the thick end of 100,000 Iraqis have been killed since the invasion in 2003 (and that's the equivalent of the population of somewhere like Lichfield). Whether they, or those they left behind, would feel it was worth it is an open question.

Missing link?

A 50-some-odd year old woman's car leaves the road - reason unknown - crashes down an embankment and ends up on its roof in a stream. The woman is trapped inside and badly hurt. It is nearly 24 hours before anybody spots the car and raises the alarm. She is released from the car and taken to hospital where she is described as being in a "poorly but stable" condition. Hardly an earth-shattering story - these things happen, unfortunately. But then it transpires that the woman is none other than Lindi St Clair who some 20-odd years ago was famous - or infamous - as a high-class prostitute and dominatrix. And suddenly it's headline news. I'm still struggling to see the connection.

R.I.P.

I was never a fan of Eastenders, so for me Wendy Richard will always be Miss Brahms. A fond farewell to another who was taken before her time.