Ha ha

In ancient Roman times, a Christian found himself in the arena with a fearsome lion.  "Oh God" he prayed "make this lion a Christian".  To his amazement, he saw the lion stop, drop to its knees and put its paws together as if in prayer.  The crowd were hushed, and he heard the lion say "For what we are about to receive..."

Popular vote?

There is, apparently, an online petition to "bring back the turkey twizzler" to schools' dinner menus.  Well after my time, but my  grandkids have fond memories and are looking to sign it.  It was, of course, Jamie Oliver who got them banned - so far I am not aware he has put out a statement.  Suppose the result is an overwhelming "yes"?  What price democracy??

Whatever, be sure there's a charge for it!

OK, so I suppose it's reasonable that there should be a fee for making an application to become a British citizen but did you know that if you want to renounce your British citizenship there's a fee for that too?

Nice little scam.

A supermarket was baffled when its data showed that they had sold substantially more carrots than they had in stock.  An enquiry revealed that some customers using the "self service"checkouts were  taking through more expensive fruit and veg (avocados were a favourite) and pushing the button which identified them as carrots, which of course cost much less.

Where do I put my cross?

A lot is being made of this referendum in the Republic Of Ireland on the question of abortion.  And that's how it's being seen, over there and over here.  It's abortion versus no abortion.  But that's not it.  It's choice versus no choice.  And when you see it that way, doesn't it clarify the issues?

You must be joking!

There are stories that you hear and think - that can't be right.  But then you hear them again from a different source and realise that, however ridiculous, they must be true.  Here's one - a disabled lady cannot walk, and relies on her mobility scooter to get around.  She has received disability benefit for some time, during which her medical condition has got steadily worse.  She then recieves a letter from the Department of Works and Pensions calling her in for "re-assessment" - in other words to assess just how disabled she is and whether she still qualities for benefit,  The assessment centre isn't really that convenient - about an hour away on her scooter - but she makes the trip, only to find when she gets there that the entrance to the building is up a big step - in other words not accessible to her.  So we have a disability assessment centre which is not accessible to - at least some - disabled people. Like I say, you read it and think...  And then, just to put the icing on the cake, she gets a letter saying that, as she did not attend for her appointment, she has been classified as fit for work, and her benefits will be stopped!  Aren't you proud of our wonderful system?

Was that the gong?

Is your main evening meal of the day tea or dinner?  Seems there's a sort of north-south divide here, with the further north you are, the more likely you are to refer to it as tea, and equally the further south you are, the more likely you are to call it dinner.  Where that leaves me, in the Midlands, I don't know.  If I think about it, I reckon it depends more on the time.  I usually eat around 6.00 to 6.30, and to me, that's tea-time.  If, for whatever reason, I didn't eat until closer to 9.00, then I would tend to think of that as dinner.

Ching, ching.

How do you feel about this woman who was invited to the Royal Wedding and as a result got one of the official goody-bags, and promptly put it on eBay and sold it for £21,400.  Feels a bit wrong somehow, doesn't it?

Mutter, mutter.

I'm extremely concerned by the use of lip-readers at the royal wedding allowing us to eaves-drop on what people were saying to each other when they were not aware they were under scrutiny.  It's another aspect of privacy of course.  To what extent should you be entitled to keep secret what you say or do?  A lot depends on who you are and where you are.  If you are a celebrity in a public space (as was the case here) then it appears that anything goes.  I don't like it.  I think it should be turned round and should depend on the circumstances and degree to which a reasonable person would consider that in those circumstances anything said or done should remain private.  And for me, casual under-the-breath conversation falls into that category.

Up the wrong tree?

"Two young people fell in love, and we all showed up".This quote from the American episcopal preacher Michael Curry formed part of his address at the wedding of Prince Harry and Thingy on 'The Power Of Love'.  Except of course, it wan't.  It wasn't the power of love that got everybody showing up - it was the power of celebrity.  If this had been Joe Bloggs and Mary Smith you'd have been doing well to get half-a-dozen there.  Nice sentiment, but wrong occasion. I feel.

Anatomy 101?

A bakery in Lancashire has come under criticism for re-labelling its gingerbread men as gingerbread "people".  Political correctness gone mad, sort of thing.  But then - they never were gingerbread men, were they?  As Bart Simpson might have said, they had no doodle.  Reminds me of the old joke about jellybabies - always ask for the boy ones - you get more for your money that way.

Who??

Apparently it came as a surprise to some people to find that Prince Harry's proper name is Henry.  So how does Henry become Harry?  It's not a new thing - devotees of Shakespeare will know the famous line from Henry IV "Cry God for Harry. England and Saint George!".  Henry as a name came over to us with the Normans and would have been pronounced the French way - Arnree - and it has been suggested that Harry was simply an Anglesisation of that..  

Harry and Thingy

I shan't be watching but I wish them both all the very best.

Yum yum

Aldi are doing halloumi fries and Lidl are doing churros.   It's a wonderful world.

The Lazy Cook

Nankhatai - Indian shortbread,

2 cups plain flour
1 cup castor sugar
1 tsp baking powder
Vegetable oil (or ghee)
Nutmeg
Ground cardomon

Mix dry ingredients and add oil or ghee until sticky.

Roll into balls and then flatten

Place on baking tray and bake at 180⁰ until  puffed and golden brown

Flash, bang, wallop - what a picture!

Can't understand all this fuss about Thingy's father and these photographs.  It seems to be being suggested that, because these were presented as candid snaps, the fact that it has now been shown that they were deliberately posed is somehow shameful and reflects badly upon Thingy herself.  But why?  The majority of photos in the press are posed, to a greater or lesser extent.  Why should these be treated differently.  The media seem to have had an unhealthy interest in this bloke ever since the couple got together and I don't think "hounded" is too strong a word.  I wish him well.

Shh - it's secret

Notice how it's all gone quiet about Sergei Skripal?  We know the daughter has been discharged from hospital and is now living anonymously somewhere, but what about her father?  Is he still in hospital?  I seem to remember that some weeks ago it was said that he was no longer critical, but I've not seen or heard anything since,  Is there stuff we should know about, but are not being told, or what?

What a row!

Last Saturday, I found myself - not exactly through choice - watching part of the Eurovision Song Contest, and I thought to myself - whatever happened to tunes, to melodies, to songs you found yourself humming on your way home? As far as I was concerned, it was all just noise - and not particularly pleasant noise at that.  

R.I.P.

Tessa Jowell.  It's a cruel world.

Well, fancy that!

Did you know that in France it is legal to marry a dead person?  Provided evidence exists that the dead person intended to marry the other party, then the fact that they died does not prevent the marriage going ahead.  Unusual but not unheard of, apparently.

it's all Greek to me.

Sort of follow-up to yesterday's post - the Greek word for river is potamos.  The word for horse, by the way is hippo, so hippopotamos is river-horse.  Meso means in the middle, or between, so Mesopotamia was the name given to "the land between the rivers" - the rivers in question being the Tigris and the Euphrates.

What's in a name?

Liked this from The Simpsons - Mr Burns looks confused when someone mentions Iran and Iraq.  Waylon Smithers whispers in his ear "Persia and Mesopotamia, sir" and the old man nods appreciatively.

Thrup'ny cone please.

I'm sure you probably know about saffron - it comes from a certain type of crocus and it takes about a kilo of flowers to produce around 12 grams of saffron - so it's very expensive.  But did you know about vanilla?  It comes from a certain species of orchid and its production is very labour-intensive.  Now mostly grown in Madagascar, it originated in Mexico, and is widely used in cooking and for flavouring liquids.  So what's the connection?  Well, a series of natural calamities - drought, disease and bad weather - has ruined the Madagascan crop, with the result that vanilla has become scarce and, as a result, expensive.  At present it's going for about £600 a kilo, and not surprisingly, organised crime has moved in and created a thriving black market.  And as far as we are concerned, it means that ice cream producers are now finding it prohibitively expensive to produce the traditional vanilla ice cream.

Ooh - we don't want you!

Did you know that there is provision to refuse you a passport on the grounds that you are not "of good  character"?  And just to confuse the situation further, there is no specific list of just what constitutes good or bad character.  But certainly official figures show that nearly half of refused applications for passports are on this ground of "not of good character".  You have been warned!

Phew!

What a lovely weekend - and how serendipitous (how about that for a word?) that it coincided with a Bank Holiday.  Put this one in your diary because it only happens rarely.  There's another Bank Holiday in a few weeks' time - what odds will you give on it being another scorcher?

Goalless draw?

Don't think any of the parties has anything much to cheer about following Thursday's local elections, but feel Labour must surely be desperately worried that, with everything seemingly in their favour, they failed to do anything more than put the slightest dent in the Tories.

Is that you?

It seems the problem with facial recognition software is that as often as not, it fails to recognise faces.  Bit worrying when you realise how much the police rely upon this technology to identify and catch people they're after.  And it's not just that the system will fail to recognise these people, but that innocent people will be wrongly detained - and possibly worse.

Thank you - come again.

How sad that The Simpsons has fallen foul of political correctness.  The problem is Apu, the Indian proprietor of the Kwik-E-Mart. who is seen by some as a racial stereotype.  But surely stereotyping  is the basis of most humour, including cartoons.  The Simpsons themselves seem to be taking it seriously with the suggestion that the character may be written out of the series.  I very much hope not.

And who are you?

As a sort of follow-up to yesterday's post. it seems in certain districts you won't be able to vote today without producing some form of ID - presumably photo, or what's the point?.  This is on a test basis, but clearly the intention is that this will become the norm.  So what options do you have?  It won't affect me, but going through my belongings, I have (1) passport - although it's expired, so would that be acceptable? (2) driving licence and (3) pensioner's bus pass.  Other than that, I would be hard pressed to prove my identity.  It will be interesting to see how this pans out.

Ihre Papiere, bitte!

ID cards back in the news again.  I've had my say - see posts of 23/1/06 and 8/7/09 - and I have little to add.  I think it is inevitable that they will be introduced sooner or later, but I'm unsure that they will prove to be the "silver bullet" that proponents promise.  I don't want them to end up as simply another excuse for the authorities to be able to pull you over and demand you prove who you are.

Asdburys?

My local town - medium size, no more - has a large Asda and a large Sainsburys.  Listening to the boss of Sainsburys on the TV yesterday morning saying, more than once, that if the proposed merger between the two companies comes about, there will be no store closures or staff lay-offs, makes me wonder how on earth that is going to work.  Doesn't seem to make commercial sense.  I wonder whether they are relying on the Competition and Markets Authority demanding that they sell off a certain number of stores as a condition of allowing the merger to go ahead - in which case they will be able to claim they didn't break that promise, but were subject to force majeure.