Obvious really.

Concern being expressed at the fact that charges for providing care in the home to the elderly vary considerably between local authorities, with some providing such care free, and others charging up to around £20 an hour for it.  But this is just another example of the fact that there are two sides to every coin - all the major political parties are to a greater or lesser extent committed to reducing centralised control, and to more decisions being made at a local level, but if you're going down that line, you have to accept that different local authorities may well see things differently and have different priorities.  So there will inevitably be what has been termed a "post code lottery".  You can't have the penny and the bun, as my Gran was fond of saying.

Pull the other one!

I always find it satisfactory when a mask slips and you catch a glimpse of what you always suspected was hidden behind it.  My local council has always put it about that the parking charges they impose are for the necessary regulation and upkeep of the parking facilities they provide, and not a money-making exercise.  Well, recently one of the major supermarkets has opened a "superstore" in a local town centre with free parking for all, and the council is screaming blue murder because, not unnaturally, motorists are choosing to park there rather than in the council carparks.  There's talk of them taking legal action to force the supermarket to change its policy.  So then - not a money-making exercise?  Sounds of hollow laughter!

That name again

I didn't think things could get any sillier but (see my post of 20th December) the EU have apparently "relented" and said that the village of Stilton can produce the cheese for which they are famous, BUT they can't call it Stilton, so it will be marketed as Bell Blue.  What the....?  They can hardly stop them making cheese, can they, and if it can't be called Stilton, then it's not Stilton is it?  What planet are these EU bureaucrats on?

Have you got it in another colour?

Much discussion on the telly as to what your rights are when you wish to go back to the shop and exchange presents you have received. Am I alone in thinking that anyone who is even considering such a course of action should be put in the stocks and pelted with rotten fruit?  These are PRESENTS for heaven's sake - you haven't paid for them, and even if they turn out to be not what you wanted or expected, you should accept them with good grace.  What ever happened to the idea that "it's the thought that counts"?

Same difference?

I think all this fuss about companies imposing a surcharge for paying by plastic is aiming at the wrong target.  The manufacturer of an article or the provider of a service has settled on the price they need for the manufacture of that article, or the provision of that service and that is the price they will charge.  It is for the consumer to decide whether that is a price they are prepared to pay.  How that price is made up is really neither here nor there.  If companies are not allowed to factor into that price a premium for paying by plastic, they will simply adjust their tariff in some other way so that the overall total remains the same.  What the Government should be aiming their fire at is the way the public are willfully misled by the way certain things are advertised.  The price is the price and if it is a fair one, people will pay it - the problem arises when you think you are going to pay one price, only to find further down the line that the actual price is very different.  So it's not a price problem, it's an advertising problem.

Today is...

Well we've done Boxing Day and St. Stephen's Day, but what about Wren Day?  Back in medieval times, young boys would go out today to capture a wren, which they would then tie to the top of a pole and parade it round the town, singing songs and begging for money.  It was just a today thing - it was considered spectacularly unlucky to harm a wren on any other day of the year.  The origin of the custom is lost in the mists of time, but is probably connected to the pagan idea of making sacrifices to the gods at this time of year in the hope of ensuring the return of the longer, warmer days.  The tradition is still kept alive today in some parts of Ireland and Wales - thus lending credence to the suggestion that it was originally a Celtic  practice - although today a fake wren is used rather than the real thing.

A traditional family Christmas wish.

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,
The gladness of Christmas give you hope,
And the warmth of Christmas grant you love.

The Big Question.

So let's get right to it - how does Santa Claus get round all the houses to deliver the presents in one night?    Can't be done- right?  Yet it happens.  So - ideas?  Well, there's the Artemis Fowl solution - Santa Claus is actually an elf called San D'Klaus and as everybody knows, elves can stop time, so it actually takes as long as it takes, but for us humans time stops so it appears to happen in the space of one night.  Then there's the parallel universes theory - that there are an infinite number of Santas in an infinite numbers of universes, each delivering just a few presents to just a few houses - easy-peasy.  And my personal theory - Santa is a quantum entity.  Quantum theory says that if that were so, Santa would be able to be everywhere all at the same time, which again makes the apparently impossible simple.  What do you think?  Of course you could stay up tonight and try to catch him at it - but then, as we all know, if you don't go to sleep, he won't come!

Christmas trivia.

As has been mentioned in previous years, whatever was the date of Jesus's birth, it almost certainly was not December 25th.  So why do we celebrate it then?  It's all part of a cunning plan by the early Christian church not to alienate people by imposing new ideas on them, but instead to integrate Christian concepts into existing activities.  The point where the days start getting longer again had always traditionally been marked with feasting, prayers and sacrifices to the gods, and the early Christian church simply took this over and gradually associated it with the birth of Jesus.  The Romans called this time Saturnalia, and the Germanic peoples gave it the name Yule.  But whereas Saturnalia has more or less disappeared from public consciousness, Yule has stuck and we still refer to Yuletide, and Yule logs and the like.

Music Man

Best Christmas song?  Guaranteed to cause dissension.  My view is that the criteria should be that the song can stand independent of its original performer.  Which I'm afraid rules out songs like "Last Christmas" (great song, but can you imagine it being done by anybody other than Wham, or at the very least in the style of Wham?).  Same goes for "I wish it could be Christmas every day", "Merry Christmas everybody" and such like.  So we're thrown back on the "standards", and for what it's worth, here in the traditional reverse order, are my top five.  At number five "Winter wonderland", at four "Let it snow", number three "Have yourself a merry little Christmas", the runner-up "The Christmas song" and the winner - what else could it be but "White Christmas".

Been there, seen it, done it...

There's a story that scientists in China are working on a cotton fabric which will clean itself.  Perhaps they should be sent a copy of the 1950's film "The Man in the White Suit".

What's in a name - again.

I've commented before on what I see as the essential silliness of these EU rulings saying that a product can only be called by a certain geographical name if in fact it comes from that particular place - Melton Mowbray pork pie being a case in point.  But how about this - a recent ruling means that Stilton cheese can now only be called such if it is made in Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire or Leicestershire.  So??  Well the village of Stilton, where the cheese originated, is in Cambridgeshire, which means that cheese made in Stilton cannot be called Stilton!  How absurd - and just to compound the absurdity, you can have Stilton cheese made in Melton Mowbray, 'cause that's in Leicestershire!

Ha ha

Topical joke - courtesy of my daily paper -
A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church.
The priest comes up and says "I'm sorry, my son, we don't allow your sort in here"
 "But you must let me in" says the Higgs Boson "How else are you going to have Mass?"

Ha ha

Seasonal joke -
Good King Wenceslas fancied a pizza, so he rang up his local Domino's
"Certainly, your Majesty" said the assistant, "What sort of pizza would you like?"
"Oh just my usual" said Wenceslas, "Deep pan, crisp and even".

Give 'em what they want, and they will come?

So the Government has finally woken up to the fact that town centres are failing - and have been failing for years - as places to go to shop.  They have commissioned a report to come up with ideas as to how this can be rectified.  I think in many cases we are too far down the road to have any realistic chance of turning back, but here's an idea - replace local business rates with a local business tax based upon turnover.  This would give local councils a vested interest in seeing that local businesses prosper.  At present, they get the business rate irrespective of how well or badly the business is doing.  It might make them think more about their responsibility to provide things like adequate parking facilities at reasonable charges - the lack of which in my opinion is one of the major factors in people not going into town to shop.

You what??!

Pace President Obama, if Iraq is a "stable" state, I'd hate to see an unstable one!

The phoenix rises?

So it now seems probable that the News of the World did not in fact delete voice mail messages from Milly Dowler's mobile 'phone after all.  As it was this allegation, more than any other, that so disgusted the general population that the Murdochs felt they had no alternative but to close the paper down, where does that now leave things?  It doesn't alter the fact that they did hack into her 'phone, as they did into many other peoples', but this sort of behaviour is now being seen as no more than common practice among the red tops - however abhorrent it may be.  If I were Rupert Murdoch, I think I would at least be mulling over the possibility of resurrecting the paper, in view of these latest revelations.

Stock up on the bamboo.

Is the giant panda the modern equivalent of the white elephant?  Like the historical white elephant which the Kings of Siam were wont to give to someone they wished to ruin, the panda is useless, cannot be got rid of, and costs a fortune to maintain.  I'm sure Edinburgh Zoo has it's reasons, but I can't see it myself.

Turn your papers over now...

What's all this fuss about teachers knowing what questions are going to come up in the exams?  Perhaps it's a bit more blatant and more motivated by league tables and such these days, but surely it was ever so?  When you're teaching a wide-ranging subject like history, for example, you absolutely have to know which areas are going to crop up in the exam.  I remember for "O" level history, we studied, among other things, Italian unification (Garibaldi and all that) and that's such an esoteric little area of the overall syllabus that it was clear that our history teacher must have known that there would be a question on that.  I've commented before on the way students these days are taught to pass the exam rather than taught the subject, and I'm not in favour of that, but teachers have always been aware of the particular areas which would be tested.

Cod and two penn'orth, please

I've no connection with Yorkshire, but say "fish and chips" and the name that pops automatically into my mind is Harry Ramsden.  So it was a bit of a shock to find that the original shop of that name in Leeds is to close as no longer being economically viable.  Mind you, fish and chips is no longer the cheap meal it used to be - these days basic fish and chips is around a fiver.  Which puts it in direct competition with McDonalds, KFC and the like.  So it's as yummy as ever, but for me just an occasional treat now and then I'm afraid.

Morris dancers and a few sparklers?

Do you watch - or care about - the opening ceremony at the Olympic games?  Apparently the budget for the opening ceremony at next year's games in London has been doubled, and many people - myself included - are questioning whether this is a sensible and proper use of money.  The Olympics after all is a sporting event and not just an excuse for the host city to show off.  Unfortunately, that's what has tended to happen, with each host city trying to outdo the previous one, and the hope was that - particularly in the present economic climate - London would buck the trend, and put on a more low-key show.  And can there be anything more boring than the parade of athletes, which goes on forever and is the best cure for insomnia ever invented?  There's no way we could outdo Beijing, so why bother to try?

Snap - the real deal.

So what is the Prisoner's Dilemma?  It goes like this - you and an accomplice have committed a serious offence.  You have both been arrested, and are being held in separate police stations, with no way of contacting each other.  You are approached by a detective who has a proposition for you, and who makes it clear that the same proposition is being put to your accomplice.  The proposition is this - if you are willing to confess and give evidence against your accomplice, you will go free and your accomplice, thanks to your evidence, will be convicted of the full offence, and will go to prison for 15 years.  If you both confess, you will both go on trial for the full offence, but consideration will be given to the fact that you have confessed, and you will both get a reduced sentence of 5 years.  If neither of you confess, there will not be enough evidence to put you on trial for the full offence, so you will both be charged with a lesser offence for which the authorities have ample evidence against you and you will go to prison for one year.  What should you do?  You will see the similarity with the card game - the "safe" option for you is to confess - that way the worst that can happen is you go away for 5 years, and there's always the possibility you will go free.  On the other hand, if you both refuse to confess, that is the best option for both of you, as you both end up with just a year inside, but can you trust your accomplice?  If you refuse to confess, and he (or she)  confesses, you end up with 15 years in the slammer!

Sexist? - not really.

The BBC are being roundly condemned for the fact that the short list for the Sports Personality of the Year contains no women.  Bit unfair really, as the make-up of the short list was not compiled by the BBC, but by an independent panel of sports writers.  But why no women?  Well, I think in great part it is for the same reason that League 2 football matches do not get the same attendance figures as the Premiership - when it comes to sports, people want to see the best, and with the greatest respect to women, as most sports contain a significant physical element, women are always going to be outclassed by men.  I have mentioned before how surprising I find it that women do not feature more in non-physical competitions like snooker, darts, ten-pin bowling and the like but with the possible exception of gymnastics, when it comes to watching sport, I will choose a male competition over a female one just about every time.  This isn't anti-women, it's just pro-top class sport.

Snap - continued.

Well the obvious strategy is to play red - that way you are guaranteed to win £1 every hand, and you could win £10.  Problem is of course that your opponent is equally capable of working that out and so the likelihood is that you will both play red every time - boring.  Of course, if you both play black you could triple your winnings, and this is where it becomes interesting.  After five hands you are allowed to talk to each other, and you could both agree to play black.  But now the question is - can you trust your opponent, and equally can they trust you?  Because if you know, or think you know that your opponent is going to play black, you can play red and potentially win £10.  This is in fact a variation on what is known as "The Prisoner's Dilemma" - a situation where co-operation is more beneficial, but leaves you open to treachery.  There's no right answer - it's just an interesting conundrum.

Snap?

Here's a simple card game for two players - you each have two cards, one red, one black.  You choose which card you intend to play, and put the other card away from you face down on the table.  You then each show the card you have elected to play.  If you both show red cards, you each win £1.  If one of you shows a red card and the other a black, the one who shows the red card wins £10 and the one who shows black wins nothing.  If you both show black cards, you both win £3.  The money comes from some philanthropic third party, so neither of you loses anything.  The game can only be played ten times, and you are not allowed to speak to each other until five hands have been played.  What should be your strategy?

The Lazy Cook

Poor man's kedgeree
Tinned kippers
2 eggs
Packet microwaveable rice
Teaspoon curry powder (optional)
Melt a knob of butter in a frying pan or wok.  Mash up the kippers and add to the pan.  Add the rice and (optional) curry powder and fry for a couple of minutes.  Beat up the eggs with a drop of milk and add to the pan, stirring continuously to scramble.  Serve on its own or on toast.

Rien ne va plus

Suggestion that schoolchildren should be taught how to "gamble responsibly" - very good idea, although I can't see it sitting comfortably with the churches or Daily Mail readers.  One aspect of betting which can confuse even those experienced in the art is our use in this country of "fractional" odds rather than the method favoured in most of the rest of the world of "decimal" odds.  Decimal odds are quoted to show you how much you will get back if your bet wins.  So if team A are quoted at 2.4 to beat team B and you put £1 on them to win and they do, you will get £2.40 back - a profit of £1.40.  So it's easy enough to compare bets and see which has the potential to win you the most, but which will win you more - a bet quoted at 7/4 or one quoted at 6/5?  To convert fractional odds into decimal, simply divide the first figure by the second and add one.  So 7/4 becomes 7 divided by 4 which is 1.75 and add 1 to make it 2.75, and 6/5 becomes 6 divided by 5 which is 1.2 which with one added is 2.2, so the 7/4 shot will win you more - assuming of course that you do win.  Mind you, whether the odds you are being quoted are value for money is another matter altogether.

Push the button, Max.

So what do you think?  The Schools' Minister is proposing to limit the use of calculators in primary schools.  He says that it is important that kids are able to solve simple sums without resorting to an electronic gadget.  We certainly seem to have stopped teaching the "times tables" which underpin so much of mathematics.  On the other hand, I find myself automatically reaching for my little machine when I have to do a calculation, even though I am well capable of working it out for myself - if the facility exists to make life easier, why not use it?  So what do you think?

Ha ha

I had amnesia once - - or was it twice?

Upsy-daisy

I don't know why, but recently the question has resurfaced as to whether it is treason to stick a postage stamp on an envelope upside down - well, it's not.  I think the idea probably originated because way back the basic common law definition of treason was simply disloyalty to the Crown, and if they'd had postage stamps back then probably affixing one upside down might well have been seen as an expression of disloyalty.  Today treason is a statutory offence and there's no mention of postage stamps, and unlike some other countries we do not have an offence of lèse majesté which essentially means offending the dignity of the Monarch.  In America the tradition has arisen of using the positioning of the stamp as a means of sending a message - as I understand it, upside down means "I love you".

Fair do's

Having re-read my last two posts, I have to accept that I seem to be having a go at Vettel - damning him with faint praise over his championship and taking the gloss off his new record of the number of pole positions in a season.  And that would be really unfair because he can only drive the race that's put before him - if he finds himself (as he so often did) on pole in the fastest car and therefore able to simply drive away from the opposition, that's simply the way things are.  I just wish I could feel more confident that he could cut the mustard if the chips were really down (and how's that for a mixed metaphor?).  And until McLaren or Ferrari or whoever come up with a competitive car I'm never going to know, am I?

There are statistics, and then...

Further to yesterday's post, much has been made of the fact that Sebastian Vettel set a new record for pole positions of 15 this season, thus beating Nigel Mansell's previous record of 14, set back in 1992.  Well certainly 15 beats 14, but this overlooks the fact that when Mansell set his record there were only 16 races in a season, whereas this season there were 19.  So a truer comparison would be to compare where Vettel was in terms of pole positions after 16 races, and at that point he only had 12.  Indeed, on that basis he actually comes in 4th position, behind not only Mansell, but Senna and Prost as well, who each had 13 out of 16.

Formula One.

My usual look back at the season -
Vettel - well, what is there to say?  Back to back championships, and this one pretty well sewn up before the season was half over.  A fast driver in the fastest car.  Couldn't really go wrong, could he?
Button - probably his best season, in my opinion - yes, better even than when he won the championship.  The car was never really competitive and yet he was nearly always there or thereabouts.  Proved what a good driver (as opposed to a fast driver) he is.
Webber - Once again had to play second fiddle to Vettel, but was consistently in the first half-a-dozen.  Only  negative point is that, given he was driving essentially the same car as Vettel, why couldn't he do better?
Alonso - Won't go so far as to say that I'm warming to the bloke, but he too showed what a good driver can do in an underperforming car.

What the **** ?

I hope I didn't give the impression in last Wednesday's post that I think swearing at the police is acceptable.  My post was not about swearing per se but about the absurdity (as I see it) of that particular section of the Public Order Act 1986 which on the face of it puts the decision as to whether or not an offence has been committed in the hands of the "victim" rather than, as it should be, in the hands of the judge or jury.  The case in question simply affirmed that it is a matter for the court to decide.

A futile exercise.

Well it's been on my mind since I posted about it in June and I've come to a decision - if I were still a working Civil Servant I wouldn't be coming out on strike next Wednesday, and I'll tell you why - because I cannot see that it will achieve anything other than inconveniencing a lot of ordinary men and women trying to go about their everyday lives.  It's just an exercise of power for power's sake - in effect the unions are sticking two fingers up to the public and saying "We're doing this because we can and there's nothing you can do about it".  The Government are well aware that there is considerable bad feeling among public sector workers about changes to their pension schemes - the strike isn't going to tell them anything they don't already know, and if anything, it is likely to harden the Government's stance in the continuing negotiations.  It's only effect will be to cause disruption, and probably expense, to Joe Bloggs and his family, who are in no way responsible for the situation.

Hard decision.

Rob Andrew faces the classic dilemma of the head of an organisation (in this case the Rugby Football Union) when things have gone badly wrong - do you fall on your sword, or do you take the line that if you're going to be held responsible for the failure, then it's your responsibility to put matters right?  If I found myself in that position, and assuming I could look at the situation objectively, I think my approach would be - is there anybody who would be better than me at sorting things out?  If so, I go - if not, I stay.

Music Man

My other abiding memory of Amsterdam all those years ago (see yesterday's post) is that every eating place had live music.  One restaurant we went to was obviously a converted cinema.  We sat upstairs in the balcony, and on the stage was a full "big band" - some 25 strong.  Even the little cafés would have a small combo playing up the corner.  Those were the days.

The Lazy Cook

I think it's called "serendipity" when disparate ideas come together to produce a novel thought.  There was an article in last weekend's paper about open sandwiches (or "tartines" as the paper would have it) and then a few pages further on, an advertisement for holidays in Amsterdam.  And out of nowhere into my head popped the word Uitsmijter (pronounced sort of "outs-my-ter) which was our staple fare when a couple of the lads and I went to Amsterdam on a weekend pass from RAF Goch back in 1957 I think it must have been.  It's just a chunky slice of bread with a slice of cheese and a slice of ham on top and then a fried egg on top of that.  Simple but delicious. I just had to make myself one.

Score one for sagacity.

I've had occasion before to comment on Section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986 which essentially makes it an offence to use language which someone else finds insulting - and the inference is that it's a matter for them as to whether they do or not.  Well a recent case has somewhat redressed the balance.  A young man repeatedly swore at the police while they were searching him for drugs and, finding none, they arrested him under the provisions of the said section.  In a decision of startling common sense, the Court of Appeal upheld the young man's assertion that the police must be so used to being sworn at that they could not realistically claim to be offended by it. So hopefully the test in the future will not depend simply on a bald assertion by the person concerned that they were offended, but will be subject to an examination as to whether it was realistic and reasonable that they should have felt that way.

Well said!

Thank the Lord for Prince Philip for saying what a lot of us are thinking - and have been for some time.  Wind turbines are not only an eyesore, they are also, to borrow his phrase, "absolutely useless".  Someone, somewhere is making a fortune out of conning us all into believing that these monstrosities are the answer to all our prayers, whereas they are about as inefficient a method of creating electricity as it is possible to imagine. They depend on an unreliable source of energy (if the wind doesn't blow, they don't work, and if the wind blows too hard, they don't work) and they cost the taxpayer a small fortune in subsidies.  Unfortunately they are the darlings of the "green lobby" who the politicians seem hell-bent on appeasing, so we're probably stuck with them.

R.I.P.

Dolly - Basil D'Oliveira - who played for Worcestershire and England and who, unwittingly perhaps, was significantly instrumental in the fall of apartheid in South Africa.
And on a different sporting tack, did you watch the Rugby League match between England and Australia on Saturday?  Twenty-six men knocking seven bells out of each other for eighty minutes and then embracing with obvious respect and affection at the final whistle.  That's the way to do it - see last Friday's post.

Natalie Wood

I remember at the time, there were mutterings that there was something suspicious about her death - her body was found floating in the water some way away from the boat on which she, her husband Robert Wagner and her co-star at the time Christopher Walken had been partying.  She was somewhat the worse for drink and the coroner decided she had fallen into the water, probably while trying to get into a dingy tied up alongside, and ruled it as accidental death.  The captain of the boat wrote a book about the incident a couple of years ago - nearly 30 years after the event - making various allegations and it appears that the "additional information" which has led the LA County Sheriff's Office to re-examine the case has come from him.  Rather spookily reminiscent of the death of Marilyn Monroe, the question is not so much about whether the death itself was accidental, but more about whether sufficient - or indeed any - attempts were made to save her. I will always remember her as Maria in "West Side Story" - a lovely lady.

We shall not be moved??

So the Pauline Prats have ripped up the eviction notices and insist they will stay put.  Of course they will - as has been said before, this is not about protest, this is about publicity, and they would like nothing more than to be dragged away kicking and screaming with the cameras looking on.  The scandal is that it has taken so long for the authorities to screw up the courage to take action against them, and the Church it would seem are still unwilling to do so.  "What would Jesus do?" is the constant refrain of the "activists" - well, my recollection is that the Man was always careful to preach obedience to the law.  Remember the "Render unto Caesar..." speech?

Misunderstood?

Seems a bit strange to be coming to the defence of Sepp Blatter, for whom I generally have little sympathy but I think he is being pilloried somewhat unfairly for his latest remarks.  It may be a language thing, but what I think he was seeking to put over is that, in any sporting contest, things may be done and said in the heat of battle as it were which should be treated as just that - things done and said in the heat of battle - and at the final whistle we should all shake hands and get on with our lives.  We seem to have reached a situation where soon players will need to think about taking a lawyer or a PR advisor onto the pitch with them, and I'm with Mr Blatter in thinking that this is not how sport should operate.

Book Post

(see post 18/11/06)


Hugh Laurie - The Gun Seller - 6 
John Connolly - The Whisperers - 7 
Harlan Coben - Miracle Cure - 7 
Janet Evanovich - Two for the Dough - 7 
Thomas Greanias - The Atlantis Revelation - 6.5
David Baldacci - Hell's Corner - 8 
Scott Mariani - The Fulcanelli Manuscript - 7.5
James Patterson - Cross Fire - 7 
Jack Higgins - Thunder Point - 7.5 
Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl - 9

Who?

Bit concerned about the news that there is to be a blockbuster Doctor Who film. Putting the Doctor on the big screen has of course been tried before, and therein lies my concern.  Peter Cushing made a good Doctor, and the plots stayed true to the original TV series, whereas Paul McGann was an equally good Doctor, but the plot suffered badly from being "Hollywood-ised" and I fear that this is what is likely to happen to the coming film which inevitably will depend on American money and will therefore look to the American market.  Doctor Who is quintessentially British and if you do away with that Britishness, what you have got is no longer Doctor Who.

What a good idea!

With all the fuss about recycling and dire warnings about the amount of plastic going into landfill, why haven't we heard more about "paper" bottles.  I have put paper in inverted commas, because they're not really made just out of paper - the idea is that the outer shell is paper - well more like cardboard really - and then there's a very thin layer of plastic inside to stop the liquid coming in contact with the paper/card.  The idea has been around for a couple of years or so now both here and in the US and by all accounts has been very successful, so like I say, why isn't it getting the same sort of promotional treatment that energy-saving light bulbs have been given?

Ha ha

A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The vet laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the vet. 
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. 
"£230," says the vet. 
"£230 !!?" the lady exclaims

"Yes" says the vet "£30 for the visit and £200 for the cat scan."

Toot toot!

How nice to know that Hornby are still in business and doing well, apparently.  Like most of my generation, I had a Hornby train set as a kid and it gave me hours of fun.  And although their stuff is now manufactured in China, the company is still British.  Very heart-warming.

Crisis - what crisis?

So what exactly is the crisis over the channel?  We keep hearing that it's a "euro crisis" but as far as I can see the euro remains a stable currency and if it was in crisis the exchange rate would be going through the roof whereas it's stayed reasonably consistent against both the pound and the dollar.  So is there any significance in the fact that those countries in big debt difficulty all use the euro?  Is the problem really the EU itself rather than its currency?

We will remember them

Here dead we lie because we did not choose
To live and shame the land from which we sprung.
Life, to be sure, is nothing much to lose;
But young men think it is, and we were young.

 A.E.Housman 

Papaver rhoeas.

Despite a last-minute fudge, there is still annoyance, or even anger in some circles, at FIFA's decision not to allow England to display remembrance poppies on their shirts for the forthcoming friendly match against Spain. You can (or at least I can) see FIFA's point - if we allow this, we will be besieged by other organisations saying "Me too, me too".  It's worth remembering that the poppy tradition is essentially just a British and Commonwealth one - the rest of the world don't observe it, and indeed some of them don't understand it (remember all the fuss in China this time last year?).  What is difficult to understand is how the poppy offends against FIFA's rule that "shirts should not carry political, religious or commercial messages". Apparently they categorise the poppy as "political", though as political means relating to (state) policy, I can't see how they justify that.  And as FIFA's rule appears to apply only to shirts, does that mean you can put what you like on shorts, or socks?

Would have expected better?

You would think that charities would act charitably, wouldn't you?  Well, it appears not so.  A Birmingham man was the main beneficiary in the will of his long-time partner.  She specified what she was leaving him, with any balance to go to two charities.  In the event, there was no balance, but shortly before she died she made a payment to him of a fairly substantial amount.  Given the history of their relationship there seems little doubt that she intended this as a gift, but the charities claimed it was a loan and therefore should be treated as part of her estate.  They took the matter to court and won, with the result that the man now faces legal costs which will wipe out the inheritance she left him.  Whatever the legal position (which rather surprisingly considering today's attitudes depends heavily on the fact that they were not married) the actions of these charities have left the man destitute.  Not very charitable, I would suggest.

Not a lot of people know that.

Although the thwarting of the Gunpowder Plot is celebrated by bonfires and fireworks on November 5th, Guy Fawkes was actually discovered and arrested late on the evening of the 4th.  The 5th was the date of the State Opening of Parliament when the explosion was supposed to happen.

Unison.

According to the General Secretary of the above union, the recent ballot resulted in a "decisive" vote in favour of a strike.  Around 75% voted for taking strike action on a 30% turnout.  Do the maths - that's less than a quarter of the membership.  How decisive can you get?  I refer back to my post of 7th June.

The Lazy Cook

Well yesterday was Bonfire Night and also on a cookery programme on TV in the morning was a rerun of Keith Floyd (of beloved memory) making groaty pudding which apparently is a traditional Black Country dish.  So?? Well, I'm from the Black Country and I have never heard of groaty pudding, but the fact that it was Bonfire Night reminded me of another traditional dish from round here - grey peas and bacon (grey pays 'n bercun). Grey peas are also known as pigeon peas and you get them from pet shops or health food shops.  You soak them overnight and put them in a saucepan with some chopped onion, pearl barley and bacon which has been cut into small pieces and browned off in the frying pan.  Add some stock to cover and simmer for about four hours.  Although the peas are brown, the liquid from them is grey - hence the name.  Delish!

Sensationalism?

Papers full of headlines like "Fathers denied right to see children" following the publication of a report into family justice.  So what's the story?  The report was generally expected to say that, following divorce, the child or children of the marriage should have the legal right to a "meaningful relationship with both parents", but in the event, the report does not include that recommendation.  So what about that headline?  Firstly, you can hardly be said to be"denied" a right which you've never had, and secondly, as regards custody and access matters, the report simply leaves things as they are.  Fathers - or for that matter any other family members - are no better or worse off than they were before.  The welfare of the child remains paramount, as it was and should be.

O Leerie, I’ll go round at night and light the lamps with you.

Did you know that there are still some 1600 gas lights in London?  And probably more scattered around the country.  So the lamplighter still exists does he?  I wonder if he still goes round tapping on people's bedroom windows with his pole to wake them up in the mornings as he's on his rounds to turn them off?

A little OTT I fear.

A convenience store in Essex has come under fire for refusing to sell a bottle of whisky to a 92-year-old lady because she couldn't produce satisfactory ID to prove she was over 18.  The shop says that it is a condition of their licence that they must see photo ID before selling alcohol.  So what is the situation?  The Home Office does indeed require any premises selling alcohol to have an "age verification policy" but the important point here - which the shop seem to have overlooked - is that this only kicks in where the would-be purchaser "appears to be under the age of 18".  Of course no shop is obliged to sell anything to anyone, and can specify what requirements they like - most supermarkets require those apparently under 25 wishing to buy alcohol to prove their age for instance.  So the shop was within its rights not to sell her the whisky, but not for the reason they gave.  And this does raise the question of where this leaves those fancying buying a drink who do not have photo ID - not everybody has a passport or drives a car.

Succession.

Primogeniture is in the news as a result of an apparent agreement between the various "realms" of the British monarchy to change the rules to allow the first-born child of the monarch to succeed to the throne, irrespective of gender.  Strictly speaking, primogeniture itself simply means first-born, but custom going back to the time of the Normans - and indeed beyond - held that males took precedence over females, and so that concept became part of the common law.  I don't think there can be much argument that it has no place in modern society and is long overdue for reform.  I am far more concerned about the proposal that the restriction on the monarch marrying a Roman Catholic should also be abolished - not because I have anything against Roman Catholics (some of my best friends etc....), but because, as I mentioned in a previous post, it would raise the possibility of a future Catholic monarch being head of the Church of England which would be a constitutional nonsense.

R.I.P.

Jimmy Saville - flamboyant showman who did a tremendous amount of good and charitable work behind the scenes.  Well done mate - you will be missed.

Hard going.

Away for the weekend with the family in a kooky little cottage in Devon.  A good time was had by all - there was a hot tub which was a big hit, and I spent most of the time catching up on reading "Jane Eyre" which is one of my granddaughter's set books for her "A" levels and I promised I would read so we could discuss it together. Wished I hadn't though - it's hard going - did people really talk and behave like that back then?  It's a wonder anything ever got done - the pace is so slow and the conversation so opaque.  It's a reasonably good story, but oh, the writing!

R. I. P.

Michael Bukht, perhaps better known as Michael Barry.  Who, you may say?  Well, he was one of my personal heroes, because he was mainly responsible for Classic FM, which I personally think is the best thing to have happened to the popularisation of classical music in my lifetime.  But he was also the "crafty cook" who gave me much pleasure all those years ago on BBC's Food and Drink programme.  I am ashamed to say that he died unnoticed (by me at least) back in August. He deserved better than that.

We knock 'em down....

Am I alone in feeling somewhat uncomfortable that, having been instrumental in the destruction of Libya, we are now seeking to profit from helping to rebuild it?

Pay attention!

On a route I regularly travel by car they've put one of those LED message boards high up by the side of the road, and it goes through a sequence of changing messages like "Don't drive when you are tired" and "Maintain a safe distance from the car in front" and suchlike.  And what was it showing when I passed it yesterday - "Concentrate on the road ahead"!

Go home and grow up.

Just what is this protest outside St. Paul's in London all about?  All I've come across are vague pretty meaningless phrases like "corporate greed" and "economic injustice".  Like most protests, it seems its main purpose is to garner publicity by inconveniencing ordinary members of the public - in this case church-goers who wish to worship in St. Paul's and are unable to do so.  Pathetic!

Rugby World Cup

Well, what irony!  After (in many people's opinion) unjustifiably beating Wales by a single point in the semi-final, France now, perhaps equally unjustifiably, go down by a single point to New Zealand in the final.  Bloody good match though.

You what...?

Have you heard of "fracking"?  Sounds rude, doesn't it?  But in fact it's a process by which natural gas is extracted from shale, and it appears that there are substantial resources of it in the north-west, in the Blackpool area.  So what are we doing about it?  Not a lot it seems.  Why not?  Because we are committed to these hideous wind-farms, and shale-gas would be a much cheaper source of energy which would make wind-farms economically unsustainable.  Of course it would mean that we, as consumers, would benefit from lower prices, but then when did our needs ever count for anything?

Oops. wrong again!

Ah well - back to the day job.  I suppose we should all be glad that the fighting in Libya is over - or is it?  It seems there are a lot of factional groups who will now be jockeying for position in the "new" Libya, and - given that they are all armed and have got a taste for fighting - if they don't get what they want...  Well you get the picture.  I hope for the best but at least in the short term, I have my concerns.

Apocalypse now??

The American evangelist who predicted that the world would end on May 21st has now said that it will definitely end today.  Have to give the bloke credit for trying - he had already predicted the end of the world on May 21st 1988 and again on September 6th 1994.  So there's no point in preparing a post for tomorrow then?

My name is Bond...

Interesting statistic that the number of Deed Poll documents issued so far this year is some 30% up on last year. The most common use of Deed Poll is to change your name.  The law regarding change of name is a bit fuzzy. The basic common law position is that you can call yourself whatever you like, provided you do not thereby break the law or seek to break the law.  But this is a two-way street - just as you can call yourself by some other name, you cannot demand that others use this new name you have chosen, and in particular official bodies are unlikely to accept you under any name other than your "official" name - that is the name which appears on your passport, driving licence, medical records and so on.  So this is where Deed Poll comes in - this allows you to officially change your name.  Of course, why you might want to do that is another matter...

It's mine, all mine...

Interesting court decision - which I fully expect to be appealed - that lottery winnings are "non-matrimonial property".  In other words they belong to the spouse who bought the ticket and not to the marriage.  So in the event of a divorce, the other spouse has no claim on them or any share of them.  If however the winning spouse uses any of the money to buy something for the two of them - in the case in question, a house - then that does become matrimonial property and is subject to division between them on any breakup.  The tricky question, which I am sure will go to appeal is whether the money which bought the ticket was matrimonial property - in which case it would seem the winnings must be.  In the case under discussion, the Judge appeared to accept that the ticket was bought by the one spouse out of their own income without the knowledge of the other spouse.  Problem is that it has always seemed to be a general principle of modern matrimonial law that each spouse's income belongs to them both.  So watch this space!

Death Race 2011.

The death of Dan Wheldon reminds us of just how dangerous motor racing is, but it also highlights the difference in attitude over the past twenty years or so between IndyCar racing and Formula One.   In F1 there have been enormous improvements in circuit and car design which have had a tremendous effect on the safety of the sport - to the extent where today if there is a smash, we fully expect to see the driver(s) get out and walk away.  IndyCar on the other hand has seemed to take the attitude of "why change a winning formula?" and continues to race older-style cars which provide less protection for the driver on oval circuits where if you go off you are straight into a concrete wall.  So will this change anything?  Maybe they might look at car design, but I think the concept of oval racing is so ingrained in the sport that it's difficult to see how that could be changed.

Rugby Union

It's unusual in this sport to see a match where the clearly superior side end up losing but, unless you are a diehard French supporter, this would almost certainly have been your assessment of the first semifinal of the current World Cup.  Wales of course will point to the fact that they had to play the majority of the game a man short after their captain was sent off - so should he have been?  It was clearly a potentially dangerous tackle for which he was dismissed, although it seemed there was no malicious intent and in the event no actual damage was done.  I think the problem is that a ten-minute sinbinning might have been seen as too lenient, whereas a red card was harsh.  Does the game need something in between?  An orange card perhaps which sends you off for 30 minutes?  That I think would have been a more appropriate penalty.  Anyway, the French are going to be tanked by the All Blacks - aren't they?

The blackboard jungle

A study has found that almost 50% of pupils' allegations of improper conduct against teachers are "malicious, unsubstantiated or unfounded".  I think we need to get back to the idea that teachers are in loco parentis with full parental authority.  Much of the problem in fact lies with the parents, who are too willing to automatically take the side of their little darlings.  I can remember a time when if you went home and told your Mum or Dad that the teacher had given you a clip round the ear, you'd get another one from them - the inference being that the teacher wouldn't do something like that without proper reason, so you must have been in the wrong.  It's a sad reflection of the current situation in schools that a friend who is a teacher of many years' experience tells me that their school has identified about a dozen pupils who must never be left alone with a single teacher for fear that they will automatically allege some impropriety or other, with all the attendant bureaucracy and unpleasantness.

Care for the elderly.

Much tutting and hand-wringing over a report that one in five hospitals are failing to provide the level of care required by law for elderly patients.  I have some personal experience of this relating to an elderly relative who had a few stays in hospital in her waning years and had some bad experiences which could only be put down to a lack of proper care and attention.  It seemed to me that the main problem was that the hospital was not prepared to accept that geriatric nursing is a specialist skill which requires a certain sort of person. What appears to happen is that a turn on the geriatric ward is seen as part and parcel of everyday nursing, with the result that you get people on there who simply are not psychologically or temperamentally suited to the job. I couldn't help but compare the far superior care and attention she got at the nursing home where she lived - the difference being of course that the staff there were recruited specifically for that sort of work.  Anyway, that's my penn'orth, for what it's worth.

Boinggg boinggg.

It seems some clarification is needed of yesterday's post.  I thought this was one of those things which "everybody knows" but apparently not.  Big Ben is the nickname given to the major bell - the one that rings out the hours - in the clock tower of the Palace of Westminster.  By extension, the name tends to be used for the tower itself but pedants - and I'm sure you know by now I am one - are keen to maintain the distinction.  Why "Ben" nobody is really sure - it may just be alliterative.  The main bell in the clock tower of the Museum and Art Gallery in Birmingham for example is known as "Big Brum".  Hope that clear things up.

Boinggg.

The Palace of Westminster Clock Tower - commonly referred to as "Big Ben" - is falling over apparently.  Due to subsidence - in no small part caused by excavations over the years connected with the Underground - the top is now some 18 inches out from the vertical.  No need to panic though, at it's present rate of movement it will be a thousand years or more before it becomes a serious problem.  No, the more pressing question - as raised by somebody on the Web - is which way is it leaning?  To the right or to the left??

Ha ha

A ventriloquist is touring and one night he’s doing a show in a club in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual act including his repertoire of dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly a blonde woman in the middle of the crowd stands up and starts shouting at the stage.“I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?”
“What does the colour of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?”
“It’s men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and men like you continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humour!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist starts to stutter an apology when the blonde yells,  “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little shit on your knee.”

Size sometimes does matter

I have come late to Jack Reacher, the hero (or should that be anti-hero?) of Lee Child's thrillers.  But I, like I suspect most other readers, have a sort of mental image of him, and in particular, because Mr Child tells us so, that he's tall - 6'5" as I recall.  So it's a bit of a shock to find that the actor who has been chosen to play him on film is Tom Cruise, who if memory serves had to stand on a box for his wedding photos in order not to have his bride tower over him.  Certainly not what I had in mind!

Difficult issue

Great admiration for Alex Salmond in his attempt to deal with "offensive behaviour" at Scottish football matches. It might seem a simple matter, but the problem is that in many cases the underlying cause has little to do with football rivalry and everything to do with religious bigotry, and therefore any attempt to deal with it could be seen as the repression of religious expression.  But at least he's had the guts to grasp the nettle.

Stating the obvous?

“In order for an obese person to lose weight - bearing in mind that most of them can't exercise because they are so overweight - all he has to do is eat less."  Lord McColl in a Lords debate on obesity.

Bad law?

I can see no sense in the Government's proposal to introduce a new offence of causing serious injury by dangerous driving which it is proposed will carry a maximum sentence of five years' imprisonment.  At present, a conviction for dangerous driving carries a maximum of two years inside.  So why doesn't it make sense?  Because it means that the length of sentence will depend on the severity of the consequences rather than the severity of the wrongdoing.  An accident caused by a really bad example of dangerous driving by a serial offender may produce just a minor injury, whereas a momentary lapse of attention by an otherwise careful driver may result in death.  The sentence should reflect the recklessness of your actions rather than your good or bad fortune regarding the outcome. 

Steve Jobs

I was never an Apple man, and perhaps because of that, I am able to assess Jobs's contribution to the tech world rather more dispassionately than some.  It was said on the news that he was the man who invented things you didn't even know you wanted, and certainly he always seemed to be ahead of the game.  Having said that, I always thought that Apple products were somewhat of a case of style over substance - they always looked good, but apparently didn't always perform up to their looks.  I remember one of my cars was a black low-slung sporty model - and I bought it on its looks - but its performance was average at best, and, although this was back in the days when Apple was still in nappies as it were, I have always thought of it as an "icar".  The other negative aspect of Apple - and I don't know whether this came from Jobs or not - was the way they sought to control the market - so if you bought their hardware you were restricted to using their software.  Indeed this was why I was never tempted to buy any of their products.  But having said all that, my kids and grandkids have ipods, iphones and ipads and swear by them.  So, Steve Jobs - visionary and astute businessman who died before his time.  Let's leave it at that.

Meeow!

Cats again.  Rather silly of the Home Secretary to have suggested that there was a case of an illegal immigrant whose deportation was blocked by the courts because he had a pet cat.  Nonsense of course - the deportation was blocked because the court accepted that he had established a family life here with his girlfriend and the existence of the cat was simply a minor piece of evidence in support of that.  Of course the way the Home Sec told it made for a better story and went down well with the party faithful who would like to see The Human Rights Act dumped, but it is a bit worrying that a Minister of the Crown should be so free and easy with the truth.

If you've got the money....

So Foxy Knoxy didn't do it?  The evidence was certainly pretty circumstantial and relied heavily on DNA finds which appear to have been discredited.  There are two worrying features here - to me anyway.  The first is that the appeal hearing seems to have focused entirely on the reliability, or otherwise of the DNA evidence, and ignored the rest of the prosecution's evidence at the original trial.  And the second is the extent to which the original trial and the appeal were subject to media pressure.  The Italian media at the original trial were baying for a conviction, and at the appeal the American media had clearly decided that Knox was innocent and were more or less demanding that she be acquitted.  So has justice been done?  What do you think?

Brmmm brmmm.

What about this idea of raising the speed limit on motorways to 80mph?  I can obviously only speak from personal experience, but surely this would just be doing no more than legitimising the status quo?  As I see it, most traffic in the fast lane is already going at 80 or faster.  And there is a theory, which may or may not be an urban myth, that you are allowed a 10% leeway on any speed limit which if true means that the current limit is really 77mph.  So is this just a PR stunt?

Begging for it!

I just couldn't resist this one - the court case against Christine Hemming has given a whole new meaning to the phrase "cat burglar" hasn't it?

A good laugh.

Have you heard of the Ig Nobel prizes?  No I hadn't either until a few days ago, despite the fact that they've been around for twenty years now.  The name is a humorous take on the word "ignoble" and the prizes are awarded for "unusual or trivial" achievements in their various fields.  This year prizes have been awarded for the discovery that a certain type of beetle will attempt to mate with a particular type of Australian beer bottle, that the quality of people's decision-making is affected (often for the better) when they have a strong desire to urinate, and research into why discus throwers become dizzy whereas hammer throwers do not.  How about that then?

I don't believe it!

Silly story of the week - at the Labour Party Conference someone was stopped by security and prevented from entering the conference hall unless they handed over a harmonica which was in their bag.  Yes - a mouth organ!  Quite what was the perceived risk is unclear.  Perhaps the threat that they might disrupt proceedings by playing something inappropriate?

Indian Summer

We're having one at the moment and very pleasant it is too, but why do we call it that?  No definitive answer, but what is pretty certain is that the name does not refer to the country of India (as I always thought it did), but to the "Red Indians" of North America.  The best guess seems to be that early settlers there could relax once the snows came because the danger from Indian raiding parties would be more or less over until the Spring.  But an unseasonal spell of warm weather - an Indian summer - would mean they would have to be back on their guard.  Anyway - long may it continue! 

Same old....?

Ed Miliband's statement that "I'm not Tony Blair" elicited a few boos from his audience at the Labour Party Conference.  It was not clear - to me at least - as to whether the boos were directed at the name of the former leader, or at the fact that Miliband was distancing himself from Blair and what he stood for.  Certainly difficult to believe that they would boo the most electorally successful leader of their party of all time.  Miliband's speech was rather depressingly predicable, I thought.  Great emphasis on equality.  Now equality of opportunity is one thing, but the uncomfortable fact is that we need the rich - because while they're making money for themselves, they are also making money - or at the very least creating the potential for making money - for everybody else. A system which strives to produce a situation where everybody is materially equal just doesn't work.  It's been tried before and failed.  It was called communism.

Torchwood.

So, now it's over, what did you make of the last series?  I thought it was rather overlong - I think ten episodes somewhat overstretched the plot.  Six would have made for a far tighter story in my opinion.  And then I found the American dimension decidedly offputting - of course there has always been an American aspect to the show in that John Barrowman, who plays "Captain Jack" is American - but for me a big part of the show's charm was its Welshness, and we've lost that.  Mind you, if it were me, I'd bring back Owen, Tosh and Ianto - to my mind, Torchwood was at its best at the end of series one, and the whole of series two.  By the way, did you know that Torchwood is an anagram of Doctor Who?

Here I go again!

One of the hobbyhorses that I wished I didn't have to keep riding is what I see as the inappropriate use of imprisonment in sentencing.  Latest example is two months inside for a lad who took a photograph in a courtroom using his mobile 'phone.  No question he broke the law, but what on earth is going to be achieved by sending him to prison?  Particularly at a time when serious consideration is being given to allowing TV cameras into courts.  It just doesn't make any sense.

Come back Shep - all is forgiven.

Blue Peter has not only moved its production from London to Salford, but apparently is set to swop pets for tech.  The new series will forgo its decades-long association with animals (who can forget the baby elephant?) and concentrate instead on things like smartphones and game consoles.  This may be simply reflecting the current reality, but I can't help feeling that somehow it will lose its soul - it may have the same name, but it won't be the Blue Peter that my children - or vicariously I - grew up with.

Plum crazy

Piece on TV the other day about the fact that, despite a bumper season for English apples, supermarket shelves are dominated by apples from overseas, particularly France.  But what concerns me more is English plums - where are they?  Particularly Vics, my favourite.  There have been very few available for several years past now, and those that you do get are small ones with little flavour.  Where do all the big juicy ones go?  You can get Marjorie Seedlings, which are OK but very much second best in my book.  Anybody know anything about this?

E equals MC what??

Big kerfuffle because scientists in Italy claim to have discovered subatomic particles travelling at faster than the speed of light, which it is said, if true, would demolish Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity.  Now I am not a nuclear physicist, and only know what I read, but I am sure I read somewhere some time ago that Einstein's Theory did not mean that nothing can travel faster than light, but simply that nothing can accelerate past the speed of light.  It does not preclude the possibility that a particle can be created already travelling faster than light.Indeed, as I understand it, if such a particle were to exist, it could not decelerate to a sub-light speed - in other words, the speed of light is a barrier which cannot be crossed in either direction.  I shall be watching this one with interest. 

Not again!

So another government IT project bites the dust with a loss of billions of pounds to the taxpayer.  This time it's the NHS project to provide a nationwide database of all patients' records.  Actually, I'm rather surprised at this one - after all, unless I've missed something, it was just going to be a database - a bloody big one to be sure, but just a database nonetheless, and they're pretty basic programs which have been around for a long time and generally work well.  Mind you, every time the equation seems to be

Government + IT = Catastrophe!

Music Man

I was having a discussion the other day about what constitutes a great piece of art - music specifically.  And my take was that it was something about which you could say "After this, nothing was ever the same again". Three examples -  Beethoven's 6th symphony - the symphony as programme music, never been done before. Stravinsky's "The Rite of Spring" which opened the door to dissonance.  And Tchaikovsky's 6th symphony which ripped the format apart and rewrote it as an emotional tour de force.  What do you think?

Redrawing the map.

Although as I understand it, no definitive announcement has yet been made, my local paper tells me that my present parliamentary constituency will disappear in the forthcoming boundary review, and I will end up in a rejigged neighbouring constituency.  I'm not too bothered about this, but if it means that my current MP disappears as well, that will be a shame, as he is one of the few who seeks to represent his constituents, rather than slavishly follow the party line.  MPs are to be reduced in number from 650 to 600 but it seems that which fifty will find themselves out of a job will be more a matter of luck and geography than ability or competence. Not sure that this is the most sensible approach.

How much?

It's impossible to put a price on pain and suffering, but does anybody else find this reported figure of £2m (well £3m really) as a settlement to the Dowler family from News International in respect of their claim regarding the hacking of their murdered daughter's phone totally unbelievable?

Justice delayed is....?

There is no doubt about the legal position regarding this eviction of "travellers" from the site at Dale Farm (see post of 2nd September) but the moral or humanitarian position is not so clear.  The most disturbing aspect is that it has taken ten years to reach the present situation - which, apart from anything else, means there will be children there who have never known any other home.  And of course you have the perennial problem with evictions of this sort - where do they go?  Are you simply moving the problem on to somewhere else? Whatever happened to the idea that local authorities were obliged to provide sites for travellers? Like I say, the legal position is clear, but I can't help feeling that the underlying problem is being swept under the carpet, and until it is brought out into the open and talked about, we shall continue to see troublesome evictions like this one.

Cui bono?

This is a title that I have used before more than once - it means "who benefits?" (strictly speaking "to whom the advantage?") and it's an approach that I have always found useful when assessing any change in rules or regulations.  So, following on from Friday's post, who will benefit - or benefit most - from this decision to scrap sell-by dates on food packaging?  And it seems to me that the main beneficiaries will be the supermarkets, who will be able to keep food on the shelves for longer.  At present, once an item is past its sell-by date they have to take it off display and probably throw it away.  Whether the knowledge that this is no longer happening makes you feel any more comfortable as a shopper is altogether a different question.

Cuff him Danno!

Picture in the paper this morning of this "rogue trader" bloke who it appears has managed to lose a Swiss bank a lot of money, as he was coming out of the magistrates' court after being remanded in custody.  But why was he in handcuffs?  The offence of which he is accused is a "white-collar" one and as far as I am aware there is no suggestion that he is violent or aggressive, so why?  Is this yet another unpleasant feature that we have copied from the Americans?

Use your noddle!

Are shoppers really so silly as to think that food cannot be safely eaten after its "sell-by" date?  As the government has decreed that such dates should be removed from packaging, it would appear so.  What about "use by" dates?  Do you take them as gospel?  Perhaps it's a generation thing, but as these for me are a relatively new feature, I use my common sense and experience.  Firstly, provided stuff is kept in the fridge, I am happy to go one or even maybe two days beyond any use-by date, on the basis that such dates are almost certainly calculated erring on the side of caution.  Beyond that, use your eyes, nose and brain.  Pork is iffy, so you have to be careful with that - beef on the other hand, up to a point actually improves in flavour for being kept.  Eggs may go stale, but rarely go bad.  Mould on cheese - just scrape it off.  Ditto on bread.  If something smells nasty, dump it.  Just basic common sense rules.  And it's perfectly safe to eat something after its "best before" date - it just may not be quite as tasty as it once was, that's all.  And putting stuff in the freezer effectively puts its use-by date on pause - so if it had three days to run when you put it in, it will still have three days to run when you take it out. In these straitened times, we can ill afford to throw food away unnecessarily.

Disgraceful!

An unbelievable - and yet so very believable - story that the drivers on the London Underground are going to be paid a bonus for simply turning up for work during the Olympics.  This is effectively a bribe to try and prevent them disrupting the Games by taking strike action.  What an advertisement for the British worker!

Ha ha.

Did you hear about the ice-cream seller who was found dead in his van covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkles?  The police believe he topped himself!

Simple solutions to be preferred?

Should we get rid of the 50% income tax rate - which was only ever meant to be a temporary measure?  Yes, I think we should - indeed I don't think it should ever have been introduced.  I was never fortunate enough to earn enough to get into the higher (40%) tax bracket, but I have always been unable to understand the logic of having different tax rates.  The idea that the more you earn, the more you should pay in tax seems pretty obvious and equitable, but the idea that the more you earn the greater proportion of what you earn you should pay in tax has always struck me as logically dubious. Among other things it means that the more you earn the less incentive you have to earn yet more, and where's the sense in that?  Indeed the same argument can be levelled against the idea of personal tax-free allowances.  The cleanest, simplest, most equitable tax system would be one where there is one tax rate which applies to everything you earn.  Everybody keeps, and everybody pays the same proportion of what they earn.  As a by-product, think of all the money we would save in administrative costs!

Made from girders?

I can remember when Irn Bru was Iron Brew and came in those old-fashioned pop bottles where the stopper was held in place by by a metal clasp.  We used to buy it as an occasional treat from a little shop on our way back from primary school - seem to think it was 2½d (old pence) with a penny back on the bottle.  I have to say that I was never that struck on the taste, but the attraction was its vivid rusty-yellow colour - which I now know is down to an additive which today is called E110.  And this has produced a bit of a modern problem.  The EU wished to regulate the amount of E110 allowed in products, and it was feared that this would affect the colour of Irn Bru, but thanks to some hard lobbying by the Scottish First Minister, Alex Salmond the level has now been set at that used in the drink.  So Scotland's "second favourite drink" (after whisky, that is) is safe.

Slow progress?

The tenth anniversary of "9/11" and what has surprised me most watching the TV coverage, is that, ten years on, "Ground Zero" as it is called is still essentially a building site.  I understand that the question of ownership of the land is somewhat complex, and that there has been much discussion about what should be built there, but you would have thought by now much more would have been done.  If I were a relative of one of those who perished I don't think I would be very impressed.

The West Lothian Question.

We hear a lot about it, but just what is it?  The problem arises because although Scotland now has a devolved parliament to which the Scots elect MSPs, they are still part of the United Kingdom and therefore also elect MPs to Westminster.  So you have a situation where Scottish MPs at Westminster can speak and vote on matters which only affect England say, whereas matters just affecting Scotland are dealt with at Holyrood and therefore (quite properly) English MPs have no input.  It's called the West Lothian Question by the way because it was first raised by Tam Dalyell, who at the time was MP for West Lothian.  I think that many Scottish MPs at Westminster voluntarily stay out of debates on purely English matters, but it's worth remembering that the last Prime Minister was a Scottish MP, as were several members of his cabinet, and they of course couldn't stay out of English matters even if they had wanted to.

Strictly Come Judging?

Much discussion about this proposal to allow TV cameras into courts.  The argument for is that anybody can sit in the public gallery and watch the proceedings, so why should those who for whatever reason can't do that be denied the experience.  The arguments against are mainly that there is a danger that those taking part will be inclined to play to the camera - "showboating" as it is called.  I think the most equitable answer is contained within those arguments - put the camera in the public gallery so that what it shows is no more and no less than that which would be seen by anybody sitting there - no close-ups or indeed any directorial input at all.  Effectively the camera becomes just another person in the public gallery.  Whether this would make for good TV of course is another matter.

Freeview - aargh!

I'm incandescent!  I know there have been adverts on TV for sometime now telling us that if we get our TV via Freeview we would have to retune on the 7th and 21st September - but what I didn't realise was that if you didn't, all your channels would disappear.  Now the television in my bedroom is set on Freeview and programmed to come on at 6.00 a.m.  Except of course that yesterday it didn't - or rather it did but simply showed a message saying "channel not available" or something like that.  Result - I overslept and was out of sync for the whole day as a result.  So firstly, why did they have to do this on a weekday?  I'm sure I can't be the only person who was caught out in this way.  Why couldn't they have programmed it for a Saturday night into Sunday morning for example?  And secondly, was it not possible to have some audio message transmitted for the benefit of those who use their TV as an alarm clock?  Is this another case of people simply not thinking things through?  And of course, I must now remember that the same thing is likely to happen on the morning of the 22nd!

Compare and contrast

Funny how all the attention last week was on the World Athletics Championships and GB's pretty average performances there, which were shown on Channel 4 and Eurosport, whereas the World Rowing Championships, where GB did really well and came top of the medal table were relegated to the "red button" on BBC and mentioned only in passing.

Speaking of films...

...I was watching "Inception" the other night.  What the hell was that all about then?  I suppose it was a bit like my little series of posts on "What is truth" about this time last year - and particularly Descartes' idea that everything we experience could be a dream.  So perhaps it's saying that nothing is really "real" and essentially we are free to construct our own reality.  Except of course that I know it isn't so - I know what reality I would wish for, and try as I might, I can't make it happen.  Still a thought-provoking film though.

Oh, really??

What are we to make of this new film "Anonymous" which posits that Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford was the real author of Shakespeare's plays and poetry?  The problem anybody has who wishes to make such a claim - whoever they put forward as the "real" author - is that they have to explain why such a person would not wish to claim the works as their own.  Why would they agree to their writings being published in someone else's name?  And this is where this film becomes silly, because its theory is that de Vere was the love-child (and indeed incestuous lover) of Queen Elizabeth I, and that for political reasons this information had to be suppressed at all costs, and therefore de Vere could not be allowed any sort of fame or public profile.  The fact that there is not one scintilla of evidence for such a claim seems to have been ignored - I am reminded of that old newspaper adage "Never let the facts get in the way of a good story".  So it may turn out to be a good film, or maybe not, but it's complete fantasy - which is perhaps not that surprising given that the director's previous credits include "Independence Day" and "Godzilla".

Mexican food

I love fajitas, but what the hell are you supposed to do with tacos?  How do you (a) stop the filling from falling out and (b) stop the taco from disintegrating in your hand?  I just can't see the point - or am I missing something?

Tricky...

NATO's remit in Libya is the protection of civilians.  There are those (me included) who think they have gone well beyond that, but that's an argument for another time.  But what will happen if the rebels attack Sirte and civilians start dying there as a result?  What would be the difference between that scenario and what was about to happen to Benghazi, which was what brought NATO in in the first place?  Would NATO start targetting the rebels to protect the Sirte civilians?  There may be interesting times ahead.

Where my caravan has rested.

This Dale Farm business - isn't it funny how we refer to them, and indeed they refer to themselves as "travellers" when it seems that most of them don't want to travel at all, but to stay put?

I'm all right, Jock!

Some thirty-odd years ago, a Treasury Minister was asked, as a matter of some urgency, to come up with a formula for the distribution of public money between the regions of the UK.  He did so, and as time was of the essence, he used the simple idea of distributing it on the basis of proportion of population.  He admitted at the time that it was hardly a scientific approach, and he saw it as a stop-gap until a better system could be devised.  Now, thirty-odd years later, we are still using it, and due to demographic changes in the intervening years, it has produced anomalies.  Most notably the Scots now get significantly more money per head than the English, and it is being suggested that this is why Scotland can afford to give their inhabitants free University tuition, free prescription charges and free care for the elderly - in other words we, south of the border, are subsidising them.  Many (English) MPs getting their knickers in a twist about this.  Problem is - and we've been down this line of thought before - that because it's such a simple system, it's cheap to administer, whereas a "fairer" system would cost considerably more.  So, will anything be done?  We shall see.

Unbelievable!

I am constantly surprised by the inability of local bureaucrats to see what's under their noses.  I've posted before about diversions due to roadworks creating traffic chaos because no-one has thought through the consequences of the diversion and taken the appropriate steps to ease the situation.  Now here's another one.  We have a children's playground - swings and slides and such - and the local authority has decided to upgrade and extend it, and to this end it has to be temporarily fenced off.  So far, so good, but when did they decide to schedule this work?  You've guessed it - in the six weeks' holiday!!

Go on the "B" of Bang?

So the new false-start rule denied us the chance to see Usain Bolt in the 100 metres final at the World Championships, and not surprisingly there have been calls for the rule to be looked at again.  This is I think the third different rule we've had in the last ten years or so, which gives some indication of how difficult it is to come up with a rule which satisfactorily penalises false-starters while not spoiling the race as a spectacle.  Can I suggest that one possibility could be that the penalty is directed more to the outcome?  If a false-starter was allowed to run, but was penalised one place (or maybe in the 100 metres, say a tenth of a second) for any false start, then you could still have the race run as intended - just the outcome would be adjusted to take account of any false starts.

I have a round thing with a hole in the middle - is this a record?

It seems that the film industry and High Street outlets like HMV are bemoaning a fall in the number of people buying DVDs.  Partly I think this is due to the industry not moving with the times, and partly because DVDs are scandalously overpriced.  But I think it's more a matter of not moving with the times.  The days when people amassed libraries of films on DVD have long gone - after all it's not many films you watch more than once.  And with all the movie channels about, most recent films are available to watch on TV, and even more can be downloaded or streamed to your PC.  So why would you go out and buy something which is going to be watched once, and then sit around cluttering up your shelves, when you don't have to.  HMV seem to have accepted that the audio CD has pretty well had it's day, and I think they are going to have to do the same with the DVD.  Time marches on...

Och aye, the noo!

I hope my friends north of the border will not take offence if I suggest that Scottish football is not only second rate at the moment, but that, with a few notable one-off exceptions, it has always been second rate?  Just look at their record in the World and European Cups.  There are continual calls for the top Scottish sides - certainly Celtic and Rangers - to play in the Premiership, but the harsh truth is that they would probably struggle to maintain a place in the top half of the table.  It has always seemed to me that the Scots have a very inflated sense of their own worth when it comes to football - perhaps the money isn't there, perhaps the talent is too thinly spread, but the record speaks for itself.

Ha ha

As a follow up to yesterday's post, here's a Yorkshire joke - 

A Yorkshireman walks into a vets and says, "I've come about t'cat". The vet says, "Is it a tom?".
And the Yorkshireman replies, "No it's down here in t'basket".

Ey up lass!

Anne Hathaway's attempt at a Yorkshire accent in the film "One Day" has come in for much criticism and ridicule.  I haven't seen the film, but I bet most of us in this country who live outside Yorkshire would struggle to imitate the accent.  The question is of course, why did they choose an American actress for the part - I'm sure there must be many actresses born and bred in Yorkshire who could have filled the role.  Is this another example of the American public not taking a film seriously unless there is an American actor or actress playing a lead?  Remember the way the story of "The Great Escape" from Stalag Luft III had to be rewritten for the film so that an American (Steve McQueen) could take a completely fictitious central role?

English as she is spoke.

List in the paper the other day of words which have been left out of the latest edition of the dictionary as not being in common usage anymore.  I was sad to see that among them was "charabanc" - I don't know about other parts of the country, but certainly round here we still talk about "catching the sharra" when we go on a trip.

Yes it is - no it isn't.

Has the time come when news programmes should come with some sort of health warning?  Recently - and in particular concerning the goings-on in Libya - a lot of speculation and rumour has been presented as fact, only to need a retraction - within hours in some cases.  I appreciate that you can hardly have a news bulletin which starts "There's something going on in Tripoli, but we're not quite sure just what..."  but I think it should be made clear which statements can be substantiated, and which can't.

Why did it happen?

I've had my say about the causes of the recent street riots, but it's interesting to see what the politicians are making of it.  David Cameron sees it as evidence of a general "moral decline", Ed Miliband says it is all down to "social deprivation" whereas Tony Blair blames specific families who, as he sees it, have deliberately chosen to live "outside the pale".  I think that Cameron and Blair are in fact saying much the same thing in two different ways, whereas Miliband is simply trotting out the traditional Labour line that anything bad must be the result of social inequality.  The problem with the Cameron/Blair argument is that it presupposes that there is such a thing as morality (Cameron) or defined norms of behaviour (Blair).  We last seriously had this argument in the late 50s over the question of whether to decriminalise homosexual activity between consenting adults.  Lord Devlin (the most articulate Law Lord there's ever been) and Professor Hart slugged it out in print, and the generally accepted outcome was that there was really no such thing as a completely shared morality or any fundamentally accepted ways of behaving, and that there will always be those who see things differently.  Of course, how they choose to express their "difference" is what is at the root of the problem.

Taxing problem

Vince Cable has this thing about a "mansion tax" doesn't he - keeps coming back to it.  Problem is - and this is a bit strange coming from a LibDem - that such a tax takes no account of the ability to pay.  You can live in a big house worth a lot of money, and still be hard up financially.  A better idea which I heard suggested the other day, would be to make the sale of property subject to capital gains tax on any gain of say over £100,000.  Not sure whether the amount it would raise would be worth the cost of administering it, mind.

Two sides to every coin.

I've posted before about the fact that nothing is all good or all bad - every good thing has the potential to be bad (religion?) and every bad thing the potential to do good.  Ecstasy (bad drug) - or more specifically, a modified version - has now been shown to be able to kill cancer cells, at least in test tubes, and is being touted as a significant development in the fight against cancer.  Several years away yet, but scientists are describing it as "a genuinely exciting proposition".

Ha ha.

This from the net -
One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all humans on earth to die. To sort things out, everyone went to Heaven. God came in and said,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women on earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." With that, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines.
The line of men who were ruled by their women was 1000 miles long, and in the line of men who ruled their women, there was only one man.
God became angry and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!" 
"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Students - oh, they're just a necessary evil!

I frequently get on my high horse about the fact that insufficient (or in fact, no) provision is made to ensure that children leaving primary school get a place at the secondary school of their (or their parents') choice.  We now seem to have a similar situation regarding university places.  The question of how and by whom universities should be funded is a matter for debate, but if you have somebody who wants to go to university, has reasonable grades and is prepared to meet the cost, whatever it may be, it seems to me to be scandalous that they are prevented from going simply because there is no place available for them.  Once again, you get the impression that students exist for the benefit of schools and universities, rather than the other way round, as it should be.

Not how we do it here.

We seem to be getting perilously close to trial by media over the 'phone-hacking business don't we?  This latest letter to be revealed from the NoW's ex-royal correspondent seems to be being taken as proof positive that Andy Coulson was in on the whole affair.  This of course presupposes that the contents of the letter are true - maybe they are, maybe they're not, but bear in mind that this was a letter written by a disgruntled ex-employee incensed that, as he saw it, he had been made the fall-guy, and that the paper had reneged on a promise they had made regarding his future employment.  And a fundamental principle of English law is audi alterem partem (hear the other side) so let's wait until we have, eh?

Who calls the shots?

Police chiefs responding to criticism about their handling of the recent rioting and looting are queuing up to assure us that they are "accountable".  But accountable to whom?  Certainly not to us - we do not elect them, and have no power to dismiss them (and I wouldn't want it to be so - I've posted before about elected officials being more interested in their re-election prospects than in doing the right thing).  But I've always assumed that they are accountable to the Home Secretary - and yet it now appears that perhaps that is not so.  They are equally queuing up to criticise her for, as they see it, meddling in their affairs, and telling them what they should and should not do.  So just how are they accountable, and to whom?