Nurse? Nurse??

I find it strange that (whether they are adhered to or not) we have official ratios of teachers to pupils in schools, but the idea that we should have similar set ratios of nurses to patients in hospitals is likely to be rejected by the Government, who say that levels of staffing should be for individual hospitals to decide.  I have to say that that doesn't fill me with confidence.

No offence intended (sorry about that!)

The other week I painted my fence which separates my back garden from my neighbour's.  Except that it's not actually my fence.  The deeds state that that boundary belongs to my neighbour, and therefore the fence belongs to them and is their responsibility.  Not that I have any problem with my neighbours who are as nice as you could wish for.  But the question has arisen as to whether you are entitled to paint your side of a dividing fence which does not belong to you.  A woman in Nottingham has been charged with criminal damage for doing just that. Clearly there is history here between the neighbours, but it will be interesting to see what the courts make of it.

What???

You occasionally get these stories in the paper that you read, and then go "No, that can't be right" and you read them again but they still make no sense.  Here's one - young girl off for a holiday in the Balearics is stopped at the airline check-in desk and told that her denim shorts are too revealing, and that she must change before she will be allowed through.  Now you can argue whether this is a proper exercise of the airline's authority - they say they have a "dress code", but I've never heard of such a thing - but that's not what makes this story so unbelievable.  They insisted that she changed there and then, at the check-in desk, in front of all the other queuing passengers!  So if she was revealing too much flesh in her shorts, imagine what she would be revealing with them off??  Like I say, I kept re-reading it and thinking - that makes no sense.

Is it or isn't it?

Around here there are stretches of motorway where, at times of congestion, the hard shoulder is opened up as a fourth lane.  But the police are now getting concerned that motorists are using the hard shoulder even when it's not officially open.  Ambiguous signing is partly to blame I think, but then there's the question of why, if the hard shoulder can be opened when it suits, it cannot be open all the time.  It's either safe to use or it isn't, surely? The confusion only arises because it's open at some times but not others.  If it were open all the time - no confusion.

Number fun.

As a schoolkid, I was always fascinated by the story of the "Indestructible Nine".  If you take any number and multiply it by 9, the digits of the answer will always add up to 9.  Think of a number - 5,726 say.  Multiply it by 9.  The answer is 51,534. Add those digits together: 5+1+5+3+4 = 18.  Do the same again: 1+8 = 9.  And there you are - works for any number you care to think of.  The other thing I remember our maths teacher amazing us with was that 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 comes to 12,345,678,987,654,321!

Music Man

Many of Haydn's symphonies have nicknames - perhaps the best known are the "Farewell" and the "Surprise".  The Farewell was composed as a broad hint to his boss Prince Esterházy that it was time for them all to go back home after some months spent at his summer residence - the symphony ends with the players one by one blowing out the candles on their music stands and leaving the stage until there are only two violins left.  The Prince apparently took the hint.  The Surprise has an unexpectedly loud chord in the middle of a soft passage - it is said to wake up those who had dozed off.  But one I hadn't heard of until recently is The Palindrome - so called because the theme to the third movement is the same played backwards as forwards.  I think I would have liked Haydn.

Going once...

Isn't this story of Jane Austen's ring a bit weird?  It was bought at auction last year by an American celebrity who I imagine few people in this country have ever heard of - but that's beside the point. She outbid everybody else, so now the ring is hers surely?  Well, yes and no, it appears.  The Culture Minister (did you know we had such a thing?) has stepped in and forbidden her from taking it out if the country - in the hope it seems that some UK buyer will come forward and "save it for the nation". Several questions spring to mind - why was it allowed to be put up at auction if this was always the intention, should it be bought by a foreigner, or at the very least should it not have been made clear that it was being sold with this condition attached to it, which might well have resulted in it commanding a much lower price. And suppose a UK buyer is found - what if the lady doesn't want to sell? Can she be prevented from taking it home on a permanent basis?  Can the Government override basic contract law?

The Lazy Cook

This is about Crashed Eggs - I just love the title.  There are umpteen versions of this - I think it was originally a Spanish dish, but needless to say I've pared the idea down to the basics.  So, you will need -

• sliced onion - Spanish for pref.
• sliced potato
• a green and/or red pepper - deseeded and sliced
• garlic
• a couple or three eggs

I've not bothered with quantities - you know how hungry you are.  Fry the onions and potatoes for about 10 minutes.  Add the garlic and pepper (optional but adds colour) and fry for another couple of minutes.  Season well, and now - where the dish gets it's name - break the eggs and drop them in from some height, so that they "crash" into the mixture, and then continue to cook until they're set.  And there you are!

Can't have it both ways.

You may remember Vicky Pryce - she was the wife of MP Chris Huhne, and was convicted of taking speeding points for him and sentenced to eight months in prison. Several years ago she was made a Companion of the Order of the Bath in recognition of her work as Head of the Government's Economic Service.  In view of her conviction, that honour has been taken from her.  I find that strange - or perhaps to me it points up the absurdity of the honours system.  She wasn't given the honour because she was a nice person - even an honest and law-abiding person - but presumably because she was a good economist and had done a good job as Head of the Department.  So does a prison sentence suddenly cease to make her a good economist, or in any way alter the value of the work she did?  It is said that she has brought the Order into disrepute, but if it is to be a pre-requisite of being given an honour that not only have you done something worth-while, but also that you are morally and ethically squeaky-clean, then future honours lists will be able to be written on the back of a postage stamp.  Either she was originally worthy of recognition, in which case she must still be, or she shouldn't have been offered it in the first place.

Two bob a pahnd - they're lovely!

My wife was a very tolerant person - she had to be, married to me (!) but she did have a few hobby-horses she was wont to ride, and one of them concerned British apples.  Come this time of year, she would go round the fruit and veg section of the supermarket bemoaning the fact that there was rarely a British apple to be seen - those on display would mainly come from France or the USA despite us living not that far from the fruit orchards of the Vale of Evesham.  So is this the supermarkets dictating what we are offered, or is it that British apple growing has not moved with the times and public taste?  Speaking for myself as now, sadly, a singleton, I buy Braeburns which come from New Zealand, simply because they are good keepers - in deference to my wife I did used to go to the local market and buy British apples, but found more often than not that I was having to throw half of them away because they'd gone bad before I got round to eating them.  So - principle versus practicality. Always a difficult balance.