Do you mean fresh or UHT?

The Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the Exchequer have been described as "two posh boys who don't know the price of milk" by another MP.  So what does "posh" actually mean?  There's a nice story that back when this country governed India, there were a lot of people going back and forth between the two countries.  No air travel back then of course, so you went by boat, and if you were rich enough, you would want to travel in as much comfort as possible, and in particular to be on the shadier side of the ship to be protected from the heat of the sun once you got into the tropics.  This would be the left-hand side of the ship on the journey out, and the right-hand side coming back.  Left-hand side of a ship is of course the port side, and the right-hand side the starboard side, and the story is that bookings for such people would be marked as "POSH" (Port out, starboard home).  Unfortunately there's no evidence for this - but come to that, there's no evidence that it's not true either, and it's such a good story I always hope that it's right.  These days "posh" tends to be used - as the MP has - as a pejorative word for anybody who speaks nicely and has more money than you.

Enter your destination and your age....

I like this idea of a "granny-nav" as it's being called - the idea being that instead of your sat-nav saying things like "in 500 yards turn right" it will say something more like "turn right just after the post office".  It reminds me of how we used to navigate in my youth - mainly by pubs.  Turn left at The Anchor and then right at The Ring-o-bells, sort of thing.  Problem with using pubs is that - at least in my neck of the woods - pubs are shutting down and being demolished at such a rate that you will need to update your granny-nav every month or so.  But I like the basic idea - much more intuitive and friendly.  I got really cross with a sat-nav in a friend's car I travelled in recently which insisted on continually saying "at the roundabaout take the second exit" when what it really meant, and what would have been far more helpful, was "go straight on".

Nostalgia

The Mexican volcano Mount Popocatepetl is in the news following it's recent eruptions.  I can never hear that name without also hearing the first lines of Frank Muir's, or Dennis Norden's (or was it both?) song - all I can remember are the first couple of lines but it goes like this - to be sung to the tune of "The honeysuckle and the bee" -

I am Mount Popocatepetl, 

You must agree

When I erupt I scatter metal

Over land and sea.....

Anybody know any more?

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

Another question answered (see post of 13/10/09).  The BBC have decided that "It Ain't Half Hot Mum" is not suitable for modern viewers, and it has therefore been taken off the list of programmes considered for re-runs. Not sure whether that is more of an indictment of the programme or of modern society.  Reminiscent of the fuss about one of the earlier Tintin books which I posted about in 2007.  Surely we are adult enough to be able to read a book or watch a programme while making allowances for when it was written or filmed and the fact that ideas and views may have changed since then.  Hope one of the other "nostalgia" channels picks it up - it was a good sitcom and of course made stars out of Windsor Davies and Don Estelle.

What is there left that is safe to eat?

The Food Standards Agency has published a list of foods which contain high levels of a chemical called acrylamide which they characterise as a "cancer-risk".  Pretty scary, yes?  Well, maybe - until you find that acrylamide occurs naturally as a result of cooking.  In other words, we've all been ingesting acrylamide ever since man invented fire and realised how much nicer food tasted for being roasted, toasted or fried.  So should we be worried?  Please yourself, but I shall not be adjusting my diet as a result, even though crisps feature prominently on the list, and I'm a sucker for them.

Formula One

So once again we have a problem with Bahrain (I'm a poet and don't know it!). Should the Grand Prix there go ahead?  The FIA's stance seems to be that putting on a Grand Prix is no different in essence from a touring theatre company putting on a play, or a circus coming into town and giving a performance. They are simply there to put on a show, and not to make any kind of statement.  The counter-argument is that there is a fundamental difference - the size and scope of the audience means that, like it or not, a Grand Prix is seen as a showcase for the area and indeed for the host nation.  So should the behaviour of the host nation be a determining factor?  After all, we've just held a Grand Prix in China, who are hardly a shining beacon of tolerance and democracy, and I don't recall any major objections being raised to that.  So what makes Bahrain different?  Is it the fact that there is open violence on the streets - nowhere near as much as last year, but still there apparently.  Clearly safety is an issue, but it seems to go further than that - the opposition (always ready with their shovel) are suggesting that British drivers should boycott the race, presumably on some sort of moral grounds, though they aren't spelling out exactly what - it seems they just don't like the regime and how it's acting, and that's sufficient reason.  I'm sure the race will go ahead - it's far too late now to cancel it - but I have no doubt the arguments will go on, and it may well be that in a year's time we'll be having this discussion again.

Missing the point?

Stafford Hospital is to introduce "pound in the slot" mechanisms on their wheelchairs to combat the number that are being stolen.  Can't see the sense - if you're after nicking a wheelchair worth several hundred pounds, you're not going to be put off by the thought of losing a pound, are you?  They are of course using the supermarket trolley system as their model, but this misses the point about what supermarkets are trying to achieve by their use of "coin in the slot".  They're not that bothered by the thought of people stealing their trollies.  No, what they are after is getting people to bring their trollies back to a central collection point (in order to get their pound back), thus saving them having to employ people to go round and collect up trollies which would otherwise end up abandoned all over the place.  If the hospital wants to do something about wheelchair theft, they could more usefully look at another system employed by some supermarkets whereby if you take the trolley outside a designated area, the wheels lock.  Now that would work!

Flat-pack hell.

I can't stand Ikea - not their stuff which is first-class but their shop.  There's one quite close to where I live and the person who designed it had clearly been studying Dante's "Inferno".  The layout is such that you are forced to go all round the shop - which is big - even though you know exactly what you want and where it is.  And then if it's anything of any size, you have to go into the warehouse section and find it on the shelves - and woe betide you if it's high up and heavy, because they'll charge you for getting it down for you.  Then there's the checkouts which are invariably undermanned and slow, and finally you can't wheel your trolley to your car - you have to leave your trolley at the pick-up point (and if you're on your own that risks having your stuff nicked) and go and bring your car to the trolley.  Just about as un-user-friendly as you could imagine.  Like I say, no complaints about their products, but oh, the way they treat their customers!

Silly story?

Worthy of an April 1st item, but apparently quite true - a team in America have come up with a quick fix for potholes - silly putty!  No, really - the stuff will naturally spread out to take the shape of the pothole, and then when traffic drives over it, it will solidify.  It's not being put forward as a long-term solution, but just something which can be deployed quickly and which will last for a few weeks until the section of road can be resurfaced. And then apparently it can be taken up and re-used.  Brilliant!

Bus - what bus??

We've had plenty of fun in the past with stories about council workers painting yellow lines round parked cars and stuff like that, but this one made me smile - after a road in Darlington was resurfaced, the road painters came along and carefully painted in a designated bus stop.  Residents then pointed out that four years ago the local bus service had been rescheduled, and no longer came down this road.  Red faces all round.