Music Man / Ha ha.

Those who play musical instruments are prone to take the mickey out of those who play different instruments from their own. You've probably heard this one -

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer!

But the one group which comes in for more stick than any other are viola players. There are enough jokes about violists to stretch from here to goodness knows where. Here's a few one-liners -

What's the similarity between The Beatles and the viola section of an orchestra?
Neither has played together since 1970.

How do you keep a violist from drowning?
Take your foot off their head.

How is lightning like a violist's finger?
Neither strikes in the same place twice.

How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.

And then there's the story of a violinist in an orchestra who was intrigued by one of the viola players who, whenever he sat down to play, always opened his jacket and looked at something which appeared to be attached to his inside pocket. One hot summer, when the orchestra was rehearsing, the violist took his jacket off and hung it on the back of his chair. When they broke for drinks and the violist had left the stage, the violinist took his chance and walked over to his seat and looked inside his jacket. And there he saw a note pinned to the lining - "Viola left hand, bow right hand".