Take slice of bread...

You know the old saying "can't boil an egg"? Well a hospital in Southampton has gone one better by putting out a two-page pamphlet for staff on how to make toast.  Yes, really!  I suppose there may be people from other countries working there, where toast is not part of everyday life, but I would have thought that the basic principles are easy enough to grasp,  The pamphlet also warns staff that they must not attempt to make toast unless they are fully trained - so "I'm sorry Mrs Smith, it will have to be cornflakes this morning,  I know you would like toast, but I haven't got my certificate yet..."  You couldn't make it up, could you?