I've got a dummy cigarette, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Well we didn't 'arf have some fun round here the other day when the M6 Toll Road was completely shut for over six hours following a report that a passenger on a coach had been seen with a bag with smoke coming out of it.  The driver stopped the coach and the police were called.  So far, so reasonable.  But then, in short order, we had Uncle Tom Cobley an' all - the bomb squad, the army, sniffer dogs, ambulances, fire engines - the works.  The police maintained that it was a "proportionate" response.  Well, I suppose you can't be too careful, but given that this was a false alarm - and surely given the circumstances, this must have become apparent very quickly - it did all seem a  little OTT.  You have to wonder whether the emergency services in fact used this incident as a sort of training exercise. Whatever, a lot of people were at the very least inconvenienced.