Personal

Yes, for those of you who enquired, Sunday was the fourth anniversary of the death of my wife, and no, I did not mark it, as I have on previous years on this blog - if only by not posting on that day. This was a deliberate decision on my part. When you think about it, the whole idea of anniversaries is rather strange. The idea that I would think about my wife more, or miss her more, just because of a date on the calendar, than I think about her and miss her every single day is frankly fatuous. So April 25th is just another day I have to get through without her. I wish I could be more positive for any of you out there who have recently lost a loved one, but the bald fact is - in my experience anyway - that it doesn't get any better, it just gets easier. The screaming pain becomes a dull ache, but it's always there. I originally gave myself five years to "get over it" and I think I'm on track for that, but I've long since accepted that "it" will always be there, and it's more a matter of learning to live with it rather than any idea that it will go away.