Ha ha.

The best my retirement magazine could come up with this time was, once again, not so much a joke as a comment on contemporary life -

An elderly lady rings up a hospital. The following conversation take place:
- Hello, I'd like some information on a patient, a Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just wanted to know if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?
- Do you know which ward she is in?
- Yes, ward 17, room 2B
- Just a minute, I'll put you through to the nurse station
- Hello, ward 17, how can I help?
- I would just like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. I was wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?
- I'll just check her notes. I'm pleased to say that Mrs Tiptree's condition has improved, She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow.
- Oh, that's wonderful news. I'm so happy. Thank you ever so much.
- You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?
- No, I'm Mrs Tiptree in room 2B. Nobody tells me anything!