Ha ha.

Once again, I am indebted to my Civil Service retirement magazine for this one -

Economics for Dummies

Socialism - You have two cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism - You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism - You have two cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism - You have two cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
European Unionism - You have two cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
Capitalism - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You sit there for a few years while nature takes its course and the herd multiplies, then you sell them and retire on the proceeds.