Ha ha

I'm sure you've probably come across this one before, but it's well worth a repeat -

If you'd bought £1000 worth of shares in Northern Rock a year ago, they would now be worth just £4.95.

If you'd invested your £1000 in HBOS shares instead they would now be worth £16.50.

If you'd gone for XL Leisure shares, your £1000 would now have shrunk to less than £5.

On the other hand, if you had used your £1000 to by tins of lager, drunk them and taken the empty cans to an aluminium recycling plant, you would have been paid £214 for them.

So it's obvious - the best investment advice in the current climate is to drink heavily and recycle!