Ha ha.

Here's one I heard the other day which made me laugh -

A policeman notices a little old lady shuffling down the street with a plastic bag in each hand. As she gets near, she drops one of the bags and a load of banknotes spill out onto the pavement. The policemen goes to help her retrieve them, and she thanks him and makes to go on her way. "Now just a minute" says the policemen "do you mind if I ask where you got all that money?" "Not at all" says the little old lady "you see it's like this - my back garden backs onto the local football ground, and whenever there's a game, a lot of the fans come and relieve themselves in the bushes, and pee all over my flower beds. So I go and stand behind the bushes with a pair of garden shears, and whenever anyone sticks his willy through to pee, I say "£5 or I chop it off" and that's where all that money came from". "Well I can't see anything wrong with that" says the policemen, "and you certainly get ten out of ten for initiative. OK, off you go". Just as she's going he says "By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well" says the little old lady "Not all of them pay!".