True confessions

Maybe it's time to talk about it - maybe, I'm not sure, but it's been more than two months now, so maybe. Why did I go "off air" for a few weeks? Because my wife died, that's why. My wife - my love, my life, my whole being - was taken from me by a particularly aggressive cancer which took less than ten weeks to progress from first vague indications to the final act. How do you cope with that? Well in my case, you don't. You go to pieces. You weep, you rage, you see other couples and hate them for being couples. You look for a light at the end of the tunnel and realise that there is no light - the tunnel goes on for ever. And yet in many ways I'm more fortunate than many - I have family who live close, and are keeping an eye on me. I see my grandchildren regularly throughout the week (I do the school run) and that keeps me geed up. So I'm surviving - but no more than that. Just going through the motions. I hope you don't mind if I occasionally use this blog as a form of catharsis to get my thoughts out in the open.