A word to the wise.

If you should chance to be carrying a table-leg around, please don't put it in a plastic bag. If you live in a block of flats, try and ensure that it's not one where other tenants are being watched as suspected terrorists. If you're driving round in your car with your girlfriend, I beg you not to use the same make of car as that of a known IRA gunman. Doing any of these things could seriously damage your health!