What's the bleeding time?

Have you got one of those numbers you're supposed to ring when your doctor's surgery is closed? We have, and I had occasion to use it over Christmas. I've got this lousy cough and cold (yes, I know, I should have had my 'flu jab!) and it spread to my eye, which got all gummed up and swollen, and I thought I should take professional advice. So I rang the number. The person I spoke to was described as "the nurse" so I assume she had qualifications, but she made no bones about the fact that she was simply asking me a series of computer-generated questions, at the end of which she advised me to keep warm, drink lots of fluids, and get some eye-drops. I didn't feel overly impressed, and couldn't help but feel that the whole system is flawed. I can't remember which of the "Doctor" films it was where James Robertson Justice was playing Sir Lancelot Spratt in charge of a group of student doctors, but I remember his instructions on diagnosis - it went something like "Eyes first and most, hands next and least, and tongue not at all". And yet under this out-of-hours system, there's no eyes or hands - just tongue. I don't think Sir Lancelot would approve.